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to contact or not to contact ex?


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Posted

have any of you guys still talk to or have contacted your ex. i feel like i miss her. not sure if i should do it. I think she has a bf already...

Posted

Ask yourself, "What do I have to lose?"

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Posted

just texted ex 30 mins ago, still no response. Im assuming she doesn't want me around in her life anymore... as i have not done anything wrong to her except maybe not meeting her expectation along the way... it does make me think about do i still want someone in my life who doesn't want me to care for. in that case, i should just turn the other way around and not participate trying to conversate with her.

Posted
just texted ex 30 mins ago, still no response. Im assuming she doesn't want me around in her life anymore... as i have not done anything wrong to her except maybe not meeting her expectation along the way... it does make me think about do i still want someone in my life who doesn't want me to care for. in that case, i should just turn the other way around and not participate trying to conversate with her.

 

Yeah probably.

I feel like I am addicted to my ex so I can't talk, really.

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Posted
Yeah probably.

I feel like I am addicted to my ex so I can't talk, really.

 

i think im on the same route too but im trying to learn to change my way and accept change in my life.

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Posted
Yeah probably.

I feel like I am addicted to my ex so I can't talk, really.

 

i think im on the same route too but im trying to learn to change my way and accept change in my life. i finally got to feel myself again after i have been doing meditation. to let go my past and to move forward.

 

its a slow recovery and i hope i do get over this mess.

 

gluck buddy! =)

Posted

Do yourself a favour lil and stay away until you no longer have feelings. You've made the attempt via text so she knows where to find you, if she has a change of heart.

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Posted
Do yourself a favour lil and stay away until you no longer have feelings. You've made the attempt via text so she knows where to find you, if she has a change of heart.

 

Thanks trial, sounds like a very safe way to proceed. Thanks again for watching out. =)

Posted
Thanks trial, sounds like a very safe way to proceed. Thanks again for watching out. =)

No problems love. You already knew what you had to do so reinforcement of such, never hurts.

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Posted
No problems love. You already knew what you had to do so reinforcement of such, never hurts.

 

Yep you are right! how is everything going for you?

Posted
Yep you are right! how is everything going for you?

I'm doing just fine. Thanks for asking. There really is life afterwards and it's a good time. Something for you to look forward to. :)

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Posted
I'm doing just fine. Thanks for asking. There really is life afterwards and it's a good time. Something for you to look forward to. :)

 

schweet! i like the way you talk lol

Posted
schweet! i like the way you talk lol

Hahaha...I talk good?

 

Really, it's wonderful being single. You get all this marvelous freedom. Also, imagine yourself dating a new chick, one who can appreciate you. You know that marvelous feeling of someone new.

 

Get out there and test the waters. There are billions of fish in the ocean. ;)

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Posted
Hahaha...I talk good?

 

Really, it's wonderful being single. You get all this marvelous freedom. Also, imagine yourself dating a new chick, one who can appreciate you. You know that marvelous feeling of someone new.

 

Get out there and test the waters. There are billions of fish in the ocean. ;)

 

Yep, trial, you have a smooth way of talking. I will test the waters and find me a angel fish lol

 

sounds like you are having some fun. yeah?

Posted
Yep, trial, you have a smooth way of talking. I will test the waters and find me a angel fish lol

 

sounds like you are having some fun. yeah?

:laugh: ....angel fish...

 

Yes I am.

Posted

You guys sound so good and accepting of reality, I wish I could be there with you.

Tell me though, is it hard for you guys to picture your ex with someone else?

The whole freedom thing sounds great, but HER freedom is what paralyzes me

What if you had to see your ex with someone else?

Even though she told me pretty much hates men and doesn't want sex or a relationship or anything, it still is like the worst thought in the world...

Posted

NorCalDave, I know exactly what you mean. I ended things with my ex-boyfriend yesterday. He sounds like your ex in some ways; manipulative, calculating, emotionally restrained. He also cheated on my a multitude of times and eventually I got fed up with his horrible behavior.

 

While everyone tells me I should be happy for my freedom, it kills me to think about him with another woman. Literally sends a knife through my heart. BUT, I know the only way that I'll heal from this is to not have anything to do with him for quite sometime, which will hopefully convert to NEVER. I'm setting a timeline for myself right now to neither speak, write, e-mail, or be on a messaging program with this man for at least 60 days. Now I'm only on day 1 of this so it's killing me but I think in the beginning one approaches this with a sort of motivation that you can only have when you take on a huge task. I'm fully aware that as I proceed with this timeline, I'll become weaker but hopefully by the end, I'll be a very strong person. One whose cut off from feeling anything for my ex besides perhaps pity for his selfish behavior.

 

I wish you the best of luck!

Posted

Excuse the double posting. Thanks!

Posted
NorCalDave, I know exactly what you mean. I ended things with my ex-boyfriend yesterday. He sounds like your ex in some ways; manipulative, calculating, emotionally restrained. He also cheated on my a multitude of times and eventually I got fed up with his horrible behavior.

 

While everyone tells me I should be happy for my freedom, it kills me to think about him with another woman. Literally sends a knife through my heart. BUT, I know the only way that I'll heal from this is to not have anything to do with him for quite sometime, which will hopefully convert to NEVER. I'm setting a timeline for myself right now to neither speak, write, e-mail, or be on a messaging program with this man for at least 60 days. Now I'm only on day 1 of this so it's killing me but I think in the beginning one approaches this with a sort of motivation that you can only have when you take on a huge task. I'm fully aware that as I proceed with this timeline, I'll become weaker but hopefully by the end, I'll be a very strong person. One whose cut off from feeling anything for my ex besides perhaps pity for his selfish behavior.

 

I wish you the best of luck!

 

I know, this woman treated me with no love and just threw me scraps. The sad thing is, I miss those scraps and would do anything to get them now.

Wow. I guess my self-esteem must be low right now.

Still trying to figure out why or how I can miss someone who:

A) Isn't interested in me romantically

B) Was interested in a friendship, but only on her terms and as long as I was giving something

C) Comes and goes in my life like it's nothing to her, but it tears me up.

 

And I am pining to be with this woman?

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Posted
You guys sound so good and accepting of reality, I wish I could be there with you.

Tell me though, is it hard for you guys to picture your ex with someone else?

The whole freedom thing sounds great, but HER freedom is what paralyzes me

What if you had to see your ex with someone else?

Even though she told me pretty much hates men and doesn't want sex or a relationship or anything, it still is like the worst thought in the world...

 

 

Its still hard for me to picture my ex with someone else bc i still have some feelings. But to lesson the pain, i think about her perspective, maybe she is happier with someone else. I've pretty much tried to do all the stuff that didn't work, pleading my love, and etc... she came back to me for about 8 months and left again 2 months ago. ex said i couldn't meet her financial standard.

 

but what keeps me busy is to have friends and my constant ways since she left to improve myself, inside and out. inside by taking care of myself, staying healthy, meditating, and not beating myself up. outside, by having new warddrobe, staying in style lol ... now thinking/planning my career.

 

thats about it, still going through the pain... but im trying to get better hope you are too. =)

 

how have you been dealing with your ex nor?

Posted

(Sorry to highjack this thread!)

 

I don't know how I am going to deal with this. I am still in shock that

A) My ex was living with me, and

B) She's gone now.

 

She was there for 40 days, but now they seem like a blink of an eye. I go home now and it's depressing without her there. At least she brought a little fun and drama to the situation. Now it's just...blah..

 

In my head I am thinking of ways to get her back into the house...but I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I think I am honestly going nuts.

What really hurts is she won't return my call, doesn't even want to be friends anymore, seemingly.

I can remember her saying "I want to be friends with you forever."

Of course, that was when I was helping her out and paying for things and being a great friend.

I told her I want more and now she wants nothing to do with me.

Where did my friend go?

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Posted
(Sorry to highjack this thread!)

 

I don't know how I am going to deal with this. I am still in shock that

A) My ex was living with me, and

B) She's gone now.

 

She was there for 40 days, but now they seem like a blink of an eye. I go home now and it's depressing without her there. At least she brought a little fun and drama to the situation. Now it's just...blah..

 

In my head I am thinking of ways to get her back into the house...but I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I think I am honestly going nuts.

What really hurts is she won't return my call, doesn't even want to be friends anymore, seemingly.

I can remember her saying "I want to be friends with you forever."

Of course, that was when I was helping her out and paying for things and being a great friend.

I told her I want more and now she wants nothing to do with me.

Where did my friend go?

 

It was the same thing for me,

it was when i stopped spending, she stopped coming.

i understand what you are going through.

2 years relationship, once almost got married, to friends, now nothing...

good luck bro, plenty of fish in the sea, i think we are just going through the withdrawal until we find ourselves and give love another chance. =)

Posted
It was the same thing for me,

it was when i stopped spending, she stopped coming.

i understand what you are going through.

2 years relationship, once almost got married, to friends, now nothing...

good luck bro, plenty of fish in the sea, i think we are just going through the withdrawal until we find ourselves and give love another chance. =)

 

 

This feels like hardcore withdrawal. I want my little friend back.

Before when she was there, I would ask her to be my girl and stuff, and I would pout when she would say no, but at least she was THERE to talk to and we could at least get on as friends and go to the movies and stuff.

I remember thinking it was torture with her there because I couldn't hook up with her and stuff, but now it feels even worse with her totally gone.

Now we can't even have little petty conversations anymore.

What, she's only my "friend" when I am giving, giving, giving?

When I ask for her to give ANYTHING, she runs off and is no where to be found.

When I heard her say she wants to be friends with me forever, I remember thinking "But I want more"...now I would totally settle for friendship just to have her around, but now we're nothing and I feel responsible for scaring her off.

We could all use friends, and right now I feel so lonely I wish I could just go home and she'd be there.

I know there are fish in the sea, but I am in no place for another fish.

I just want the old one back, even though we were only friends and I wanted more.

I hate being depressed like this. It's been going on for too long.

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Posted
This feels like hardcore withdrawal. I want my little friend back.

Before when she was there, I would ask her to be my girl and stuff, and I would pout when she would say no, but at least she was THERE to talk to and we could at least get on as friends and go to the movies and stuff.

I remember thinking it was torture with her there because I couldn't hook up with her and stuff, but now it feels even worse with her totally gone.

Now we can't even have little petty conversations anymore.

What, she's only my "friend" when I am giving, giving, giving?

When I ask for her to give ANYTHING, she runs off and is no where to be found.

When I heard her say she wants to be friends with me forever, I remember thinking "But I want more"...now I would totally settle for friendship just to have her around, but now we're nothing and I feel responsible for scaring her off.

We could all use friends, and right now I feel so lonely I wish I could just go home and she'd be there.

I know there are fish in the sea, but I am in no place for another fish.

I just want the old one back, even though we were only friends and I wanted more.

I hate being depressed like this. It's been going on for too long.

 

I know how you feel. i had a friend who went through a similar situation you have. since then he has not moved on like me. i understand your loneliness really well. if you check my posts i have made threads about being lonely. im sure a guy like you will have plenty of woman one day... it takes time. there was one point i had so many woman, i wanted to be alone bc of my feelings for my exgf. i needed to learn who i am and overcome my vulnerabilities bc someone like my ex can hurt me again in the future. take care of yourself first, you will attract more of the opposite sex. =)

 

_____________________________________________________________

don't tunnel vision because we might miss the beauty of our experience.

Posted
I know how you feel. i had a friend who went through a similar situation you have. since then he has not moved on like me. i understand your loneliness really well. if you check my posts i have made threads about being lonely. im sure a guy like you will have plenty of woman one day... it takes time. there was one point i had so many woman, i wanted to be alone bc of my feelings for my exgf. i needed to learn who i am and overcome my vulnerabilities bc someone like my ex can hurt me again in the future. take care of yourself first, you will attract more of the opposite sex. =)

 

_____________________________________________________________

don't tunnel vision because we might miss the beauty of our experience.

You do understand. Well done!!

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