mattwah Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 Hi everyone, ive got a few questions that need answering, but first here's a sumup of what's happened. I am 17 years old on sept 10th, my gf is exactly one week older than me. We have been together for about 5 months. During the time that we were together, we went out once a week, during the weekend, as we both go to the same school. Everytime we go out, we have great fun, watching movies, bowling or walking around the city centre. I could never have thought that we would break up, always thought it would last forever for a few years at least. Last Friday, she had a birthday party and invited some of our friends to dinner at a restaurant. I was also there. On the day before, she told me she wanted another party on Saturday night with her friends that used to go to our school that i didnt really know. They were mainly all guys. I told her i didnt want her going, saying that one party is enough. She didnt listen to me, as she is a very decisive girl. So in the end she went. That saturday night, she didnt come home to 2.30am.I was really upset, as she promised me that she wouldnt play for so long. The next day (Sunday), i called her and her voice was happy, telling me in detail what happened. My voice sounded like i was in a bad attitude, sad/pissed off. She then asked me "Next time if i go out with this group of friends, will you still be angry and like this?" I said i dont know. Later that night, she told me to call her so i did. I had no idea what the phone call would be about. When she answered, she asked me what i was doing,and then said lets break up. I was so shocked and surprised, that i started crying. I duno if i should or should not have cried, but that was how i felt. Her voice sounded flat, and i duno possibly calm. I asked her how long she had thought about it, and she said a few days. Then she said, keep doing your homework and she hung up. THat night, she turned her phone off, and i kept trying to call through. I must have called over 50 times.She blocked me on msn, and there was no way i could contact her. I didnt eat dinner that night, and i couldnt sleep, waking up,tossing and turning on my bed. At school, she completely ignored me. I tried talking to her in the morning, but i couldnt control myself, and let a tear fall down. Today is exactly 1 week since she broke up with me. For this whole week, i have been unable to sleep properly, waking up at around 6am because of a nightmare/dream regarding her. I asked my friend who is also her friend, why she isnt talking to me. And she said that she didnt want to talk to me because she thought it may give me false hope. I felt like i needed to talk to her, as i was still in a state of shock, but as much as i tried, she would ignore me, or speak a few words and then walk off. ------- Now, i cant understand why she is ignoring me. Just a couple days before the breakup, we were having such a great time. I took her to a beautiful riverside during the night, and we kissed. How could everything be like this now?!! I think the thing im sad about is that its too much to lose. Because i was with her, i tried to spend all my free time with her, this resulted in me paying less attention to my other friends. Even last night, i had a bad dream regarding her. I dreamt that she would be coming back to me, but i knew this was impossible. Im still trying to talk to her at school, asking a few questions if we walk by. But everytime its just a few worded answer i would receive. So now, i feel afraid to talk her. ---- It makes me so sad, to think of all the great times we had. All the future plans we had, what we were going to do in the coming holidays, travel to the countryside for a few days. I remember her telling me that she wanted me to meet her friends in our home country, China. We are both in Australia now. ----- What i want to know is that, do you think i should keep trying to talk to her, sort of push it, because in 2 weeks it is the holiday. And im afraid if we cant be normal friends by then, then i will have to wait until the 2-3week holiday is over, before i have a chance to talk to her. 2. Do some girls hide their emotions completely? Because whenever i see her, it looks as if she is all fine. But for myself, anyone can tell that im upset. 3. I feel that she was the one for me, i feel im unable to find another gf if its not her, as there are no girls i fancy/have interest in apart from her. Do many people feel this? THanks for reading. i really appreciate it.
danny1 Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 Hey man. What you need to do in this situation is play cool. Dont show its getting to you because that will only make it worse. Breakups with no explanations are the worst, but it is what it is. This girl doesnt seem very mindful of your feelings and , although you dont want to hear this, you have to let her go. Even by the very slight chance you get back together, the chances of this happening again are strong. Why go through it a second, third, or forth time. Also, for what its worth, you are still very young and you should be out dating other girls.
lonely_blue Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 its hard with out an explanation why, if she cares she should atleast give you the time to eplain her decision. all i would say is if you see her and she makes eye contact give her a friendly smile, nothing over the top, just so she knows that she can still come to you if she wants to, but the best thing is to try and not start any communication with her for a couple of weeks. use this time think things over, and what has happend. if she does not contact you, then try asking to see her, explaining that you would like to no why she ended it. but do not do this if you will start crying when you see her. If you do it will make them uneasy, and his is not what either of you want. if you she accepts your invitation great if not you just have to give it more time. hopefully you will start feeling better and you will not have see her for answers, otherwise give it 3-4 more weeks try again. this is what i did and for me she agreed to meet me as she new she had to explain things as she had not done before. but time is what you need, and do things with your friends too take your mind off it all.
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