PoshPrincess Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 Katanya, as an exOW I can honestly say that I wouldn't have been at all happy for my MM to have another OW! This is purely because we were in love (or so I thought at the time). If it had been 'just sex' then I would've accepted it (or moved on) but it was anything but. I think it depends on the situation. If I was a BS, I think it would be difficult to forgive either. I definitely couldn't forgive a full-blown long term affair. That would be too painful. Neither would I accept cheating as ;it was just a fling'. Why risk a marriage for that? And, if you are in love with someone else, leave and be with them.
TogetherForever Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 Why even be married if you choose to have several OM/OW on the side? I totally agree...why marry? Cereal cheaters will always be cereal cheaters.. :laugh:Lizzie, Cereal cheaters. Too funny. Fruit Loops anyone? Or did you mean cereal eaters?
Meaplus3 Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 :laugh:Lizzie, Cereal cheaters. Too funny. Fruit Loops anyone? Or did you mean cereal eaters? Haha Together! And when they get caught there more like "Shredded Wheat"!
JustBreathe Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 BS: Your question was whether a long term affair or multiple meaningless affairs are more hurtful to the BS? It is not the number of affairs, or the length of them, or how many other women he has at one time that does the damage. It is the foundation of the marriage that is obliterated, the base, the things that marriage is supposed to be based on: Faith, loyalty, trust, unity and love are among those things. I think too often people think that it is the actual sticking of the penis into vagina, how many vaginas the penis has visited, or long or repeated the visits were, the temporary exchange of friction and of bodily fluids, that damages an unsuspecting spouse when it is purely the attack on all that marriage is supposed to be, the destruction of those very basic things mentioned above.
RealityCheck Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 I was having an interesting conversation with my MM about our relationship and how he sees it and how I see it. I have very little, if any, expectations on him nor do I ever expect him to have any on me - he is married, I am not. One of the topics that came up is feeliings about my dating others and/or him having other OW.........ironically, his response was "please don't ever think that. I would never do that!" and I could not help laugh profusely........I don't believe he can say that with any truth; he has obviously cheated once (more than once for my particular MM), and will no doubt do it again! He has a wife, an OW, what would stop him from taking another OW or with having a fling here or there is he so chose and could get away with it. My question is twofold; to the OW/OM I would like to know how you feel about/ would handle the situation where your MM/MW would have another OW/OM and also to the BS in so much as what is worse in your view, a spouse who engages in a long term A or one that has flings that result in no long term commitment. Obviously, I would think the long term A would be worse for the BS but IMO I also think that as a BS I could forgive a long term A that I knew has meaning more easily than I could knowing my spouse was jumping in and out of beds at random with no emotional attachment to the act itself. For me as a former OW, if the MM was seeing other women it certainly would grate on my nerves for the simple fact, it was bad enough having to be a convenience to him in his marriage let alone another woman. As a former BS. My H cheating once or an having an affair would be enough for me to send him packing.
Impudent Oyster Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 :laugh:Lizzie, Cereal cheaters. Too funny. Fruit Loops anyone? Or did you mean cereal eaters? Lizzie's MM (men) don't want her for her mind...
Impudent Oyster Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 BS: Your question was whether a long term affair or multiple meaningless affairs are more hurtful to the BS? Honestly, a long term affair is more hurtful, IMO. Multiple meaningless affairs are just that - meaningless. I'm not saying I would put up with them, but I would be much more upset if I thought he cared about another woman vs. just f#cking one. I might be an anomaly because I could care less if my husband went or goes to a Strip club. In fact, on the few times he's gone with his friends he's called me and told me, but he also asks me not to say anything to the other wives because there husbands won't tell them. I don't get that. I just tell him not to spend too much money.
Lizzie60 Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 :laugh:Lizzie, Cereal cheaters. Too funny. Fruit Loops anyone? Or did you mean cereal eaters? I call my good dads (MM) the cereal cheaters... Alpha Bits...
TogetherForever Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 I call my good dads (MM) the cereal cheaters... Alpha Bits... I love Sugar Daddys. Oooops, I mean Sugar Puffs.
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