Star Gazer Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 A guy I dated a while back just emailed me. He ended things with me pleasantly, but I was still bummed for a period afterward. I've always wished him well. This was his short message, literally out of nowhere: "Just so you know, in case you weren't aware, I do still think about you and our time together. I may have made a poor decision pertaining to us, however, it is what it is. I still hope there aren't any hard feelings." How would you interpret that? What's odd is I'm fairly certain he's involved with someone right now. Maybe he's just relieving himself of guilt? Or is he testing the waters with me?
underpants Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 I think it is testing waters. That kind of sucks if he is involved with someone else and doing this. Are you going to respond?
dropdeadlegs Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 I think it sounds like atonement of some kind. Like an apology to allow closure. If he were to email again I would then think he is trying to reconnect.
garnet Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 The fact that he said he made a "poor decision" means he is expressing his regret. I can't imagine why anyone would do that if they weren't hoping for something from you. You said things ended amicably so it's not like he has anything to atone or apologize for. Can you find out for sure if he is seeing anyone?
johan Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 I am a known expert at reading between the lines. I'll help! "Just so you know, in case you weren't aware, I do still think about you and our time together. Interpretation: I'll never forget that dark period in my life. I still think about it. I may have made a poor decision pertaining to us, however, it is what it is. Interpretation: I look back at the time when I asked you out the first time and wonder what the heck I was thinking. Holy smokes! Beer goggles, right? I still hope there aren't any hard feelings." Interpretation: I hope I've finally gotten over all my resentment. Thanks to you I've sworn off of alcohol for good!
Herzen Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 "Just so you know, in case you weren't aware, I do still think about you and our time together. I may have made a poor decision pertaining to us, however, it is what it is. I still hope there aren't any hard feelings." Cold, Johan, cold. My read: ex-loverboy is telling you that he misses you and your time together, and he regrets his exit. I'm a pragmatist especially in matters of the Heart. Ex-lovers don't send messages like that for atonement or for any abstract reasons. It's a cautiously worded invitation. He's testing the waters. It's a relationship reignition feeler. You always leave them wanting more, SG.
norajane Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Yes, he's testing the waters. If he's with someone, it's a pretty ****ty thing for him to do to both her and you. But if he's not with someone, then he's just trying to be 'neutral' so if you're not interested he doesn't have to feel like he got shot down.
johan Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Star Gazer hasn't come back to call me names. Do you think I made her cry?
Herzen Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Star Gazer hasn't come back to call me names. Do you think I made her cry? I suspect she's busy uploading those drunk, nude photos of you and renewing her gun permit. SG's not one to mess with...
johan Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 I'm probably in for a major lawsuit. I'm starting to regret this.
Fun2BMe Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 "Just so you know, in case you weren't aware, I do still think about you and our time together. Why is it important for him to make sure you know that he still thinks about you and your time together?? That sounds like a line straight out of the mouth of a player. He's probably used to women chasing him after he dumps them and is getting unsettled at how well you have handled it and has come back to shake things up a bit to feed his ego, to find out if you're still thinking about him. I may have made a poor decision pertaining to us, I left you to check the waters out with another girl, that's why I did it in such a nice way so that the door will be left open in case the other one didn't work out and I come back, and I now regret that I dumped you, as it was a poor decision from my little brain. however, hold on, not so fast...did you think I was actually going to admit I made a mistake, that I regret leaving you??!! it is what it is. That's more like it, I almost gave away my game! Not so fast, don't think you're worthy of wanting back!!! What I did, is what I stick by. But now that you know I think it was a poor decision, you can feel free to try to get me back. I have too much pride and would rather see if you initiate anything as far as seeing if I would want you back. As we both know, I'm the one who calls the shots, and before I decide if I would want you back, you have to respond letting me know if you do first so that I won't make a fool out of myself and look wrong or be rejected. I can reject others, but I'll never put myself in a situation to allow someone, especially a girl I broke up with, to reject me. I still hope there aren't any hard feelings." Hint - I am waiting for you to tell me you miss me and want me so I feel better about myself and maybe 1) feed my ego or 2) have you as a side dish 3) possibly take you back - all depending on how my mood is and the effort you make to show you are worthy of me and how appreciative you are that I even think about you still.
underpants Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Dang Fun, That was unsettling spot on. Never try to power play an attorney. Give him the cold hell he deserves SG.
Herzen Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Why is it important for him to make sure you know that he still thinks about you and your time together?? That sounds like a line straight out of the mouth of a player. He's probably used to women chasing him after he dumps them and is getting unsettled at how well you have handled it and has come back to shake things up a bit to feed his ego, to find out if you're still thinking about him. I left you to check the waters out with another girl, that's why I did it in such a nice way so that the door will be left open in case the other one didn't work out and I come back, and I now regret that I dumped you, as it was a poor decision from my little brain. hold on, not so fast...did you think I was actually going to admit I made a mistake, that I regret leaving you??!! That's more like it, I almost gave away my game! Not so fast, don't think you're worthy of wanting back!!! What I did, is what I stick by. But now that you know I think it was a poor decision, you can feel free to try to get me back. I have too much pride and would rather see if you initiate anything as far as seeing if I would want you back. As we both know, I'm the one who calls the shots, and before I decide if I would want you back, you have to respond letting me know if you do first so that I won't make a fool out of myself and look wrong or be rejected. I can reject others, but I'll never put myself in a situation to allow someone, especially I girl I broke up, with to reject me. Hint - I am waiting for you to tell me you miss me and want me so I feel better about myself and maybe 1) feed my ego or 2) have you as a side dish 3) possibly take you back - all depending on how my mood is and the effort you make to show you desserve me. See, Johan, women are the relationship experts. That was as perfect a deconstruction that I've read. Wow! Fun2BMe, remind me to never send you a "love" note.
johan Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Fun2BMe said the same thing I was trying to say. She just expressed it better. Good job, Fun!
Fun2BMe Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Fun2BMe, remind me to never send you a "love" note. C'mon, you'll never know if I fall for it unless you try!
monkey00 Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Sounds to me he's just trying to make peace over what happened - not necessarily hoping to gain anything out of it.
halfarock Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 I don’t know if this is the same or not. When I decided to get serious with my girlfriend there was another woman who I also very much liked and I’m sure she liked me quite a bit too. I broke it off with her rather abruptly without an explanation. The last time I saw her, she had tears in her eyes. Ever so often she’ll cross my mind and I get the idea that maybe I should write her a note, say something nice to her, but I never do. I agree with Monkey00, that he is probably just trying to make peace over what happened.
birdie Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 I actually did the 'make peace' thing with someone because it really bothered me what I had said. However, when I did that I made it very clear that I wasn't trying to fix the relationship or confuse the matter. I just acknowledged that I handled it very badly and hurt the other person. I think his message was testing the water.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 10, 2007 Author Posted September 10, 2007 I suspect she's busy uploading those drunk, nude photos of you and renewing her gun permit. Nah, I found it funny!! Why is it important for him to make sure you know that he still thinks about you and your time together?? That sounds like a line straight out of the mouth of a player. He's probably used to women chasing him after he dumps them and is getting unsettled at how well you have handled it and has come back to shake things up a bit to feed his ego, to find out if you're still thinking about him. I left you to check the waters out with another girl, that's why I did it in such a nice way so that the door will be left open in case the other one didn't work out and I come back, and I now regret that I dumped you, as it was a poor decision from my little brain. Hold on, not so fast...did you think I was actually going to admit I made a mistake, that I regret leaving you??!! That's more like it, I almost gave away my game! Not so fast, don't think you're worthy of wanting back!!! What I did, is what I stick by. But now that you know I think it was a poor decision, you can feel free to try to get me back. I have too much pride and would rather see if you initiate anything as far as seeing if I would want you back. As we both know, I'm the one who calls the shots, and before I decide if I would want you back, you have to respond letting me know if you do first so that I won't make a fool out of myself and look wrong or be rejected. I can reject others, but I'll never put myself in a situation to allow someone, especially a girl I broke up with, to reject me. Hint - I am waiting for you to tell me you miss me and want me so I feel better about myself and maybe 1) feed my ego or 2) have you as a side dish 3) possibly take you back - all depending on how my mood is and the effort you make to show you are worthy of me and how appreciative you are that I even think about you still. WOAH. That was...good. Like, really, really good. I'm impressed, Fun.
Trialbyfire Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 Hint - I am waiting for you to tell me you miss me and want me so I feel better about myself and maybe 1) feed my ego or 2) have you as a side dish 3) possibly take you back - all depending on how my mood is and the effort you make to show you are worthy of me and how appreciative you are that I even think about you still. This portion is the best!! I'll just add one more thing: "If I take you back, you'll have to do it on my terms which means that my needs will be met but yours will not matter..."
Herzen Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 Nah, I found it funny!! WOAH. That was...good. Like, really, really good. I'm impressed, Fun. We were all impressed, and humbled, with Fun's expert analysis and prescription. Although johan and I each were brilliant in our own way.
sb129 Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 We were all impressed, and humbled, with Fun's expert analysis and prescription. Please add me to that list, I thought Funs post was brilliant, and her accuracy is deadly!
CaliGuy Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 A guy I dated a while back just emailed me. He ended things with me pleasantly, but I was still bummed for a period afterward. I've always wished him well. This was his short message, literally out of nowhere: "Just so you know, in case you weren't aware, I do still think about you and our time together. I may have made a poor decision pertaining to us, however, it is what it is. I still hope there aren't any hard feelings." How would you interpret that? What's odd is I'm fairly certain he's involved with someone right now. Maybe he's just relieving himself of guilt? Or is he testing the waters with me? I interpret it as you being his "back up" plan. If you're OK with that, reply to him. If not, delete is your friend.
Reckless Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Thank you Cali! All this soul searching, women soul search; men move on. "Just so you know, in case you weren't aware, I do still think about you and our time together. Interpretation: I haven't thought of you once since we broke up. However, my present squeeze is giving me grief and I got to thinking of old girlfriends. I was flicking through my little black book and found your name ... I had completely forgotten about you but when I saw it I kindof managed to put a face to the name.... may have made a poor decision pertaining to us, [/i] Of course I'm too proud to say I was wrong " however, it is what it is. " but I am writing to see if I can turn back time... benefit from the groundwork already laid (pun intended) and get sex without all the rigarolle of having to buy you a coke and take you to the cinema "I still hope there aren't any hard feelings." So what about it? ....D'you want to have sex? ========================================================== What you have here is a classic request to be a FWB, back-up girl. Your call.
Fun2BMe Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 We were all impressed, and humbled, with Fun's expert analysis and prescription. Although johan and I each were brilliant in our own way. Wow I missed all the feedback I got, i too am humbled. We are all brilliant in our own special messed up dysfunctional ways;)
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