oliveoil Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 What is a good time frame by which a person should know if they will marry their partner
Lizzie60 Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 What is a good time frame by which a person should know if they will marry their partner Never... why go through all this hassle for nothing ... really.
Krytellan Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 Yes, in my old age I agree more and more with Lizzie. Just establish a bi-annual business contract with your partner... much less messy. However, to answer your question, if you've decided in under 6 months, you don't know what you're talking about (I know from experience). If you don't know at the 18 month mark, you should probably toss in the towel and find someone you do want to marry.
vivi Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 I think after 18 months you would do well to think about where things are going. a few things I've learned and am still learning.... -do not marry someone thinking he can be changed. All you can do is decide what's a deal killer and what isn't. It is much better if you can have conversations about the rough spots. If he's a slob but he loves you madly, get a cleaning lady. If he's bad with money, get separate accounts or make a deal about finances. If he loves sports and you don't, go to the gym while he watches. Only you can decide what's a deal killer, but there's a couple that are absolute: -drug/alcohol/other addictive issues. No good -abusive behavior, whether verbal, emotional or physical -instability. If he is can't seem to hold on to a job. -lying and cheating. most guys are going to look at other women, but if its just looking and you can live with that or he's not a dick about it, that's cool. But if he is seeing other women while he's with you, he's not ready for a serious relationship or may have a problem or he's just not that into you. Better to know now and move on. and I urge you NOT to move in until you get engaged.
dropdeadlegs Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 I think anything less than a year would be foolish, and I think two years is a better benchmark. By then you have seen all sides of a person. For me personally, I wouldn't marry someone without living with them first. Living under the same roof is different even than spending lots of nights and weekends together because you don't get to go home and "take a break" from the relationship in any way. All that said, I don't think I will be getting married again at all. I just don't need the legality stuff, and we both already have our own kids and won't be having more together.
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