ok ....... there is more to the story than i have been telling you

[annabelle75]

Like everyone else here I leave a lot of personal stuff out of my posts, in order to keep a certain amount of anonymity and to not cloud over the actual topics of discussion. There is something pretty big going on in my life that I haven’t discussed in this part of the forum even though it is related to what happened with the MM years ago. If you’ve ever read my posts in the Break-Up or Second Chances forums, you would know that I originally came to this forum after getting dumped by a guy I had been dating earlier this year. He was an acquaintance of mine from the same sporting circuit I met the MM. In fact, I met him through the MM. They were casual friends. He was 7 years younger than me and when I first met him (let’s call him “X”), I was still married and trying to fix my marriage. Soon after my marriage ended and I rebounded into dating the MM (X was under the belief he was in the midst of a D as well. MM lied to everyone within our group). Now it was obvious from the first day that we met X had a crush on me. It was kind of cute. He was always respectful of the fact I was not available but it was obvious if I had been he would have pursued me. I thought he was a sweet kid. We became friends and I would often give him career and girl advice.

 

During my divorce and the subsequent mess that ensued with the MM and his W, X always stood by me as a friend. It was hard at first for me to accept his friendship. A lot of people who I thought were friends pretty much abandoned me because they didn’t want to get stuck in the middle of the drama and didn’t want to take the chance of making an enemy out of the MM, who was an official for the sports circuit. It was a very dark time for me. I went from being a well respected, high ranking member of the community to just being the butt of everyone’s jokes. X stood by me, even when I walked away from it all and tried to cut off contact with anyone involved. He gave me space, but every few weeks would call or send an email to see how I was. It took me a year before I could really trust him (or anyone else). This past February he finally convinced me to give him a chance and date him. His age, distance (we live in different states) and involvement in my past problems where a major hurdle I had to get past in order to give him that chance. I finally did and then found myself falling hard. He was everything I had been needing in my life …….. for a few months at least.

 

I’m not gonna go over the details of the break up again because there are already threads on LS about it, but I’ll say that he essentially freaked himself out after a few months. He put too much pressure on himself and cracked. I was devastated and found my way here to LS to talk about it.

 

About a month after the break up he started trying to get me back. I did not give in because I had been burnt before giving some one a second chance (the MM) and would not do it again. But after the past few months he has worn me down and I’ve decided to give him one more shot. I still love him and figure if he is really willing to do what it takes to win me back, then what have I got to lose? If he hurts me again, I will survive. I’m more prepared for it now. But if he really is “the one” I don’t want to miss out on something that could be amazing.

 

What does all this have to do with the MM and BS? Next week I am going to my first sporting circuit event since the relationship with the MM ended. And I am going with X. Due to the beating I took over all the gossip two years ago I have asked X to never share our relationship with anyone in the sporting circles. He has kept his word and no body even knows we still talk let alone have been dating. Its gonna be a huge shock to a lot of people, especially the MM. Just last month he and X attended an event together (X appeared in an event MM was sponsoring). I know there will be a lot of gossip, but I think I am ready for it now. I can’t hide forever. Next week I am “coming out” with a bang. A lot of people are really excited about my return. Although I will not be competing (I am out of practice and not ready to compete at their level again) I will be making a scheduled appearance and attending several pre-parties. I think it will be a good way to make my way back in to where I belong.

 

I’m not really looking for advice. I just wanted to share with you all what is going in my life right now. Strangely enough I feel kind of close to many of you even though I don’t even know your first names. There is something about sharing our hurts and pains that kind of bonds us I guess.

 

I promise to post an update about what happens when I return from my trip. Hopefully it will all go smoothly. I’m excited and can’t wait. A week from today I’ll be on a plane getting ready to reclaim an important part of my life. It feels good.

[whichwayisup]

Expect drama to happen. Just don't take part in ANY of it, if you can..

 

And, I just hope seeing the exMM doesn't stir up feelings inside you and make you feel too weird.

[annabelle75]

Expect drama to happen. Just don't take part in ANY of it, if you can..

 

And, I just hope seeing the exMM doesn't stir up feelings inside you and make you feel too weird.

 

It will be awkward if I see him, but it really isn't going to be anything that I can't handle. I really am over him. Not really over everyhting that happened, but I am definitely over him.

 

On the drama front, I am not really expecting anything to happen. Both the MM and his W, amde a real spectacle of themselves in the begining trying to prove to everyone that they were so happy and in love that people gto annoyed with them. I am sure that there are as sick of all the gossip as I am and netiher of them would want to create any sort of scene that would furhter tarnish their images. I know I am goign to avoid it at all costs. There is just no need for it. We are all adults and capable of behaving.

 

I am actually just really excited about spending time with my bf and getting back into a sport that I love. It's going to be an awesome weekend.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

I'm really excited for you Annabelle, I know all about the sporting circuit (in England anyway) and it's a closed shop, but there's usually lots of drama - you wont be the first and you wont be the last so dont worry too much about it.

 

Just hold your head up high and knock em out

[silktricks]

Best of luck to you Annabelle. I bet this weekend will be an awesome time for you, and on into the future.

[Lizzie60]

I don't know the whole story but from your post... it seems that it's what you want.. so go for it...

 

My MM is 8 yrs younger... it's nothing... that's not a big age gap.. don't worry about it...

 

Enjoy your weekend!

[Lyssa]

All the best, Annabelle!! Have loads of fun and keep us posted!!

 

*hugs*