Mandy5 Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 So my ex boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago, he said he needed to be single. After we broke up hung out a few times, and those few times we ended up sleeping together. He said he still loved me, but he just felt like he needed to be single. Anyways, near the end of our relationship i found out he was tutoring this girl from highschool... we are both 22.. he said they wre just friends, and he would never think of dating her, and she was also his friends ex gf..so he said she was "off limits" so to say. anways...this past week i went to manitoba to visit my best friend, and while i was there..i found out on facebook, that he is dating this girl, that he said he would never think of dating. So i freaked out, and called him, and asked him why he would lie to me, and i was such a mess. How could he do that ot me? he also said on the phone that he could see us together again someday! how could he say that to me if he has a new gf? im so confused with him, but i know i shouldn't talk to him again, but its so hard..i find my self snooping..today he had picture of them up..cuddling and stuff, i finally got myself to block him, but i am constnatly wondering what hes doing. IM just so upset over all this..and i dunno waht to do to make myself get over him, i thought iwas until i found out he was with someone else. It jsut sucks cuz i know he wont want to be friends with me:( just feels like i lost a big part of my life and now he is spending it with someone else. any imput would be greatly appreciated:)
Curious139 Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 Hi Mandy, sorry to hear you are in pain. It sounds like the relationship is over and he has moved on. Just why and how some people are able to do this much more quickly than others, I do not know. However you must keep away from him. That means No Contact, no looking for him on the net, no asking friends about him. You need time and space to heal. It is hard but if it helps, almost everyone here has been or is going through the same pain as you. It sucks. Rely on your friends, keep busy, and mix with other people. It will get better.
Travis L Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 So my ex boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago, he said he needed to be single.....He said he still loved me, but he just felt like he needed to be single. This is dumper talk for, "I want to try my chances out there and I want this breakup to be as easy as possible for me...." How could he do that ot me? Him dating someone else isn't him "doing" anything to you... He's single... If he only started dating her 2 months post breakup, count yourself lucky. My (ex)girlfriend of 4 years (1 week away from proposal) said "I love you, I want to marry you...just not right now..., I just need space." POOF, two weeks later shes shacking up with a new guy!!! he also said on the phone that he could see us together again someday! how could he say that to me if he has a new gf? This is his way of keeping his hooks in you should his current relationship not work out (which it probably won't). Don't listen to what he says...focus on his actions. His actions are telling you that he's more interested in this new girl than he is in you. He's gone... Stop talking to him, go get busy meeting new people, and don't let his desires to test out new merchandise prevent you from having the time of your life! You're single, enjoy it while it still lasts! You're sure as hell not going to get him back by calling him up asking how he could do this or that to you... Show him you're moving on with your life... Listen, fake it until you make it. Act as if you are doing great! Go meet new guys! Go hang out with friends and just have fun! It will be hard but you have to force yourself to do it...
Author Mandy5 Posted September 8, 2007 Author Posted September 8, 2007 thanks for the replies..i know i need to keep busy and forget about him..its just so hard..bu tim sure time will make it easier. its just werid how you thikn a relationship was so perfect and then all of a sudden it ends.. the hardest part is when im at home about to go to bed, i constantly think about him, and its so hard to make the thoughts go away. Im sure things will become easier..its just getting to that point is hard.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Mandy, sweetie, I'm so sorry! I broke up with mine about a week ago, and already he's crushing on some new girls (probably getting ready to do what you're ex bf is doing!), and the only reason I broke up with him was because he was so distant the whole time and placed me at the bottom of his priorities list! I felt rejected throughout the whole relationship. To make matters worse, I recently moved 300 miles away, which facilitated the breakup, although that was long overdue anyway, and being lonely, I broke my no contact and started talking to him! I was stupid to ask our mutual friends about him, I know, stupid me, and I got the dirt on him already crushing on some new girls in school! This makes me so hurt, as if I was rejected 3 times! First time: In the relationship by him being so non chalant and never wanting to see me. 2nd Time: When I broke up with him, and him being non chalant about it. 3rd Time: It's only been a week and he's moved on? And here I am balling my eyes out still? I thought I was doing better for awhile, but I've just relapsed again! All these images and thoughts are going through my head. I wish he had been honest with me from the very beginning. Now it's just painful!
Travis L Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 thanks for the replies..i know i need to keep busy and forget about him..its just so hard..bu tim sure time will make it easier. its just werid how you thikn a relationship was so perfect and then all of a sudden it ends.. the hardest part is when im at home about to go to bed, i constantly think about him, and its so hard to make the thoughts go away. Im sure things will become easier..its just getting to that point is hard. I think most of us know exactly what you are talking about. The hardest times for me (in the beginning) were right before I went to sleep and right when I woke up. 4 years of sharing a bed with someone and you just sort of get used to it... It gets easier (it really does)... I still think about her several times a day and it's been 3 months. Like you said, lots of time and staying busy make the pain a little less sharp... There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you!
Travis L Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 I was stupid to ask our mutual friends about him, I know, stupid me, and I got the dirt on him already crushing on some new girls in school! Wow, LD, sorry to hear that... I hadn't heard from you in a few days, hope everything is going well!!!
Author Mandy5 Posted September 8, 2007 Author Posted September 8, 2007 thanks travis..i appreciate your replies.. have you talked to your ex gf? or are you doing no contact??? its so hard to not talk to my ex..but he doesn't have any intention in talking to me, he says " its too hard, cuz whenever i talk to you i want to see you" Im nto going to talk to him anymore..its just i dunno hw long i can last..but i have to force myself to!! LD im sorry you are giong through that!!..i know exactly how you feel as you can tell! I did the same thing...i kept asking our mutual friends what hes up to...and finding otu about this new girl..but its so not worth asking, cuz it only makes you more upset..so ive found out.. stay strong we both can get through this:) this site has helpe dme so much..knowing that im not alone in my situation..and it helps geting positive comments from others i find it gives me strength:)
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