I lost my princess

[ogtipz]

Just to make the story short, I was with this girl for about a year and a half, when we first went out our connection/bond wasnt too great. she was a very shy girl, very self concious even tho she had no reason to be. I didnt let myself get attached to her or anyone else for that mater, i find it hard to let people get close to becuase when i was 12 my dad disowned me and I was sent away to live with my mum. from that day on I made sure that id never let anyone come close to me. Tbh there were times when i hated myself for the way i treated her always making sure she didnt get too close going behind her back and so on yet she loved me deeply, and I loved her back. i never showed it to her tho. but after a couple of months we got really close, physically and emotionally and we got intitmate. after that we got really close, I let her see who i really am and she loved me even more. She loved me so much that she even used to cry when I had to leave her to go home. our relationship blossomed. I didnt care about my freinds and I made every possible effort to spend my free time with her.

Then came the time when she had to work part time in this hospital (mind u at this time we are still going to college) and she loved the job!, she used to come back to me and we used to huggle and she tells me about the people who work there and about this boy whu seem to be in love with himself and we used to have such a great time. i was soo happy for her. but she was changing, she was getting more and more indepndant, she had a new hair style and even got plastic sugery done. it made her boosted her confindece expontentially. yet whenever our classmates used to stare at her asn inquire abt the boob job she used to hide behind me and just hold me. but one day we had a argument, I wasnt too happy about the way she acting and I did not like the way other boys gave her attention. sadly to say my caveman instincts did not do me any good, she argued about how she never had the confindece and how I used to go behind her back, and for some reason I blurted out 'we are over' becuase in the back of my mind I was hoping shed come running back to me , this was just after valentines day. but she didnt. I called her and I went over, we cried, held hands and huggled for ages. we contuned to sleep with eachother for a couple of weeks, but then she started seeing other boys. it hit me like a ton of bricks, I saw pictures of her semi naked grabbing boys or leaning agsint them and so on.

 

I know she wasnt with me but we loved eachother!, I loved her!. when i asked her about this she told me to stay away from her life. I cried and cried, i was so lost without her. and it even hurt me soo much to know that shes coping without me and just realisn how pahtetic I am. it wouldnt have been that bad if not for the fact all we saw was eachother during the time we were going out, it was just about us 2. she was my world and she knew it. after about a weeks we met up a couple times after that amd slept with eachother and it always ended up with me in tears, she conffesed to me that she's been sleeping with that boy in the hospital for 2 weeks now. she sed she didnt get back with me cos she didnt want to hurt me. that broke me down physically and mentally. I did not eat for weeks and did not care abt the outside world. she just didnt care, she sed i found someone new, someone hu makes me feel beta. it made me angry at her but more angry at myself. I couldnt cope with it. after a while I met her again ,and again we slept witheach other. she now has a boyfreind yet she slept with me and then she told me how her bf made love to her which hurt me even more. I should have taken my brother's adivce and stayed away from her and I dont really hang out with my freinds becuase im not used it ccos all i did was spend time with her. she constantly goes on about what a bad bf i was yet Im the one who is always there for her whenever she needs me and helping her no matter what pople say. these days she's still with that boy hu she has cheated on on numerous occasions with me and other boys or men rather. she still calls me and asks how I am. everytime she does call me I think im over her but im not. it kills me inside everytime I see her photo or a letter from her. shes not the person I knew, yet I still love her, my love to her is not as pure as it used to be yet I still love her. and to this day after 5 months after our breakup, I still cry everytime i think about my beautiful princess and blame myself for everything that happned knowing the fact that shes enjoying her life and shes with a another man. I just need to get over her.I even called her mother(whom im quite close to) and she simply said that I need to get over her for my benefit. I had one gf after her but all I did with her was to replace my princess. ppl keep saying to get over her but I cant. time obvoiusly hasnt helped me in this case. Am I just being pathetic and is there a chance for me forget this girl? please help me. thank you

[Curious139]

Oh dear you are in an awful place. First thing - go back and edit your post into paragraphs. Many people will not read a whole block of text, it is too difficult to read through.

[Curious139]

Now - I don't think you did anything wrong at all. In a way, I lost my love for similar reasons. The woman I loved had an unhappy marriage which she left. She was shy and vulnerable after 22 years of being unhappy despite being outwardly happy and vibrant.

 

I came into her life and reassured her vitality and attractiveness. My mistake was to wait too long to leave my wife and commit to my love. She got sick of waiting, was told by her friends that I was leading her on, and with her new found confidence tried internet dating. Within 2 weeks she met a man who is now her new partner. Damn that was hard to write about.

 

You have done the same. Clearly this girl has other facets to her character which weren't evident when you were first together, so you didn't know her as well as you both thought.

 

She is probably confused as well as empowered by her new found confidence and wants to test the waters of the world. You've given her a gift but suffered a terrible blow as a consequence.

 

To protect yourself you must have No Contact with this girl. That is to allow you time to heal. You can't make her love you or make her think she has made a mistake - she is the only person who can do that. And sadly it may never happen.

 

You obviously have the ability to commit to one person and look after them which in my book makes you a very decent person. I suggest you date, or just make sure you go out and mix with people - but avoid her at all costs. Don't look for her on the net, you'll only suffer more pain.

 

Keep busy, be active, exercise. You'll be fine but you have to cut off any contact.

[ogtipz]

thank you for your kind words, unfortuntely I cannot edit my post for some reason. I understand that it must have been a very heavy blow for you, and i appreciate you sharing your expreince. the truth is she still calls me, and I always run to her like a fool to comfort her or to keep her company, however she hasnt called me in a week now. I know this might sound stupid but it means a lot to me; shall i delete her as a contact off my phone and email? becuase everytime I see her name on facebook I am really tempted to see her pictures ony to see her happy with another man. saddens me deeply. my only hope is that Im going to univeristy soon where heopfully it'll be easier to forget her.

 

thank you once again, I guess I just need toughen up and get over her or she will just keep using me. I just cant help loving her with all I have

[Curious139]

DO NOT look for her on Facebook or anywhere else. It will only hurt you more. Yes delete her from your contacts, you need to be as remote from her as possible. NC.