so gutted Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I have excelled again. I have been talking to a man on and off on the net and phone for a month. We were due to meet. I got ready etc....rushed home.....coem 8.30 - i waited for a call before i left the house to meet him. NOTHING..... I texted...nothing I called ...nothing.... texts ...nothing nothing at alll............ the next day at 6.30 he calls and tells me the raeson he didnt come was because he got talk speeding and the cops kept him in......they found some documents in his car ....etc etc i fell for it ...we rearranged for sunday.....midday i text him and we arranged a meeting etc...we had a chat and i said - NO SEX....he got all funny.....we were still going to meet later on.....next thing i text him and confirmed....he said he has visitors (unexpected - hope u understand babe) he said i have to deal with them before i can come to u.......... no call or text all day.... in between all this - he is still calling and talking about a future.......... thurs - we arrange a meeting place...calls all day.....he is raedy to come down....next thing ....he calls to say - we will do it tommorow...... he STILL calls in the evening - still saying - shall i come now???? today he was rude on msn again.... i cannot believe i am letting myself be treated like this - JUST BECAUSE HE TALKS MARRAIGE............... i feel so low.............why havnt i got someone in my life... fat girls...ugly girls get married ... WHY NOT ME?????????????
Yosef Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 Such pessimism I sense in you. What is it you're expecting from this guy you're meeting? I'm sure he seems nice, but from what im reading, he's not good at keping schedules or promises, which can be a real pain I would expect. What do you suspect of what he's doing?
sfsassy Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I have excelled again. I have been talking to a man on and off on the net and phone for a month. We were due to meet. I got ready etc....rushed home.....coem 8.30 - i waited for a call before i left the house to meet him. NOTHING..... I texted...nothing I called ...nothing.... texts ...nothing nothing at alll............ the next day at 6.30 he calls and tells me the raeson he didnt come was because he got talk speeding and the cops kept him in......they found some documents in his car ....etc etc i fell for it ...we rearranged for sunday.....midday i text him and we arranged a meeting etc...we had a chat and i said - NO SEX....he got all funny.....we were still going to meet later on.....next thing i text him and confirmed....he said he has visitors (unexpected - hope u understand babe) he said i have to deal with them before i can come to u.......... no call or text all day.... in between all this - he is still calling and talking about a future.......... thurs - we arrange a meeting place...calls all day.....he is raedy to come down....next thing ....he calls to say - we will do it tommorow...... he STILL calls in the evening - still saying - shall i come now???? today he was rude on msn again.... i cannot believe i am letting myself be treated like this - JUST BECAUSE HE TALKS MARRAIGE............... i feel so low.............why havnt i got someone in my life... fat girls...ugly girls get married ... WHY NOT ME????????????? I know it gets lonely at times, but you have got to cut him loose. He so isn't worth your time. Probably the marriage thing is a ploy anyway. A couple oof months ago, a guy flaked on me twice for a first meeting. The first time I was forgiving, but after the second time, I blocked hm from how he knew to get a hold of me. I waited a day, I knew he had been online after our scheduled date, and no explanation came, and I just didn't want to deal with any drama. It wasn't even worth yelling at someone I barely knew. I so want someone, but not at the expense of my self respect.
Lishy Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 If you come across in real life like you did in this post then you will have guys running for the hills! You dont seem to like yourself much hon Why are you talking marriage before you are even in a relationship? When that guy next text you IGNORE HIM and keep on ignoring him. Then go get some councelling and work out why you do not respect yourself. Treat yourself like gold and you will be treated that way!
jcster Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 fat girls...ugly girls get married ... WHY NOT ME????????????? Ugly is a state of mind, not body. Desperation is never pretty.
amber1 Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 Ew leave this guy behind. He sounds like a total jerk.
kymberann Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 He is one of many, don't waste your time waiting for him!
Lishy Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 Standing and stamping your feet screaming WHY NOT ME will not, a husband, get!
curiousnycgirl Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 I did the online dating thing for several years - met a ton of toads before meeting my B/F, who I've been dating for 3 years now. In the begininng I did just what you are doing - I was reluctant to meet someone too soon, etc. Unfortunately it is very easy to get caught up with someone you meet online without ever actually meet them. I've been there/done that. You build them up in your mind based on very limited input. It is very important not to draw out these online/phone conversations for too long before meeting R/T. I understand women have concerns over meeting a total stranger too quickly - however I found that at least for me, it was best to meet after only a few emails (before artificial expectations are set in our own heads) - in a neutral spot - to see if it is worth pursuing.
uniqueone Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 Treat yourself like gold and you will be treated that way! So does that mean if she treated herself like gold then this particular guy would have treated her better? I would think it's the guy---not her--that's got the problems. To the OP, try not to think marriage because it looks like you'll start tolerating anything just to get there. So say it happens.....then you'd be married but the guy would treat you like you were low priority. Would you be happy?
Cobra_X30 Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 So does that mean if she treated herself like gold then this particular guy would have treated her better? I would think it's the guy---not her--that's got the problems. To the OP, try not to think marriage because it looks like you'll start tolerating anything just to get there. So say it happens.....then you'd be married but the guy would treat you like you were low priority. Would you be happy? I can tell you that as a guy... men tend to treat girls as they allow themselves to be treated. I usually dont get interested in girls that let men walk all over them. Shows a very unhealthy mental state!
uniqueone Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 I can tell you that as a guy... men tend to treat girls as they allow themselves to be treated. I usually dont get interested in girls that let men walk all over them. Shows a very unhealthy mental state! You're contradicting yourself in those two statements though. Also I don't think you understood what I meant. My question is, would you treat one girl better than another? And if the answer is yes, then I think that says more about you than it does about the girl.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 You're contradicting yourself in those two statements though. Also I don't think you understood what I meant. My question is, would you treat one girl better than another? And if the answer is yes, then I think that says more about you than it does about the girl. No contradiction here. I try not to date doormats, but I know plenty of other guys who love them. Its that old saying about giving someone an inch. It is human nature, especially true with males. Yes, I do not treat all girls the same, because I find that each girl is different. Does that mean I treat one better than another? I suppose it depends on the person and the situation. What does that say about me?
Lishy Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 Of course he would have treated her different! She screams out 'insecure insecure, just promise me marriage and im yours' and SOME men will use that - She would not have attracted this guy if she had more self esteem. Of course this is just MY opinion!
uniqueone Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Of course he would have treated her different! She screams out 'insecure insecure, just promise me marriage and im yours' and SOME men will use that - She would not have attracted this guy if she had more self esteem. Of course this is just MY opinion! The point I was trying to make is that SOME people will treat someone worse who has low self-esteem. Other people will not. No, it's NOT human nature to treat people with low self-esteem worse than others (that was in reference to Cobra's comment, not yours). If YOU personally treat someone who has low self-esteem worse than you treat others, than you OWN that behavior. It's not part of biology. It's not part of human nature. It's YOU. You're the only one who's responsible for acting that way. While it's not BENEFICIAL for a person to have low self-esteem, they do not CAUSE others to treat them a certain way. People who treat someone a certain way have a choice. It's time to start being accountable for your actions and stop blaming it on "human nature" or saying that the person with low self-esteem "made me do it"! Puh-lease!
Ruby Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 The comment she made about fat ugly girls can get married is not good, who says you have to be beautiful to find love?. It shows her real personality and certain guys are picking up on that and using against her.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 The internet has more available prospects than any actual social "meeting" place you could ever fathom. With that in mind, whyyyyyyyyyyyy wouldn't a woman simply walk away and completely ignore anything such a dimwit had to say after she was stood-up by him in such a way? Turn and walk away!! No contact, no nothing... don't read his messages/e-mails... don't send him anything. Keep your mind open to respectful men who might cross paths with you on and off the net. In time this will see you forgetting all about this lout.
whichwayisup Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 i feel so low.............why havnt i got someone in my life... You cannot rely on someone else to make you happy. Work on yourself, make YOU happy by living life, being with friends, having fun, working hard and accomplishing things that bring alot of joy into your life. Build upon that to give you some self confidence. If you put out insecure energy, and have a negative attitude, that's what comes back at ya... fat girls...ugly girls get married ... WHY NOT ME????????????? They have self confidence.
weffer25 Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 I think first that assuming you've got something better to offer than the "fat and ugly girls" would probably turn a guy off, makes you seem like you think your better than other people, not an attractive quality. But I get what your saying and maybe thats not how you meant it. I would think the "fat and ugly girls" maybe are getting married because they dont waste their time with guys who dont seem to be that into them. My advice hun is stop wasting time with this guy your only wasting precious time where you could be meeting a guy who is going to treat you how you should be treated and really want to marry you. It seems to me that this guy just wants to keep you around incase all else fails, sorry if thats harsh but its time to drop a guy who I would assume is not acting like the guy you picture yourself being with forever.
uniqueone Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 Please stop seeing marriage as a panacea. Don't make marriage a goal. Meeting people can be a goal, but marriage shouldn't be. Marriage can be a BY-PRODUCT of meeting people but should not be the goal itself. Marriage is not going to guarantee you security. It's not going to validate your worth. It should not be used to prove anything to anyone. It should not be a goal in order to have children (children should be a by-product of marriage, NOT a motivation for it) Marriage should not be a goal because everyone else is getting married. It should not be a goal because your family is asking you about it. It should not be a goal because you've always dreamed of wearing a fancy white dress. It should not be a goal because you want to "belong" to somebody. It should not be a goal because you want to show off your ring to other women. These are many reasons that people have gotten married. And I've seen them get divorced too. Start seeing marriage realistically. It's not a magic kingdom that you suddenly enter. It's just life as it's always been....and in some cases, with even more problems added.
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