StartingOver07 Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 About 10 days ago, I started dating a new guy, who just moved to my state. Things have been going well - we've seen each other several times and he seems interested in pursuing a relationship. Yesterday, he went back to his former state to get his house packed up, etc., as the last part of his move. As was typical, we exchanged a few emails during the day and he texted and called from the airport here. When he landed at the airport there, he texted me, saying he'd call when he got to his house. That was at about 9pm. By a little after midnight, I still hadn't heard from him and so I finally sent him a text sayig good night, which was my way of letting him know I was going to bed so he wouldn't call. About 30 minutes later, he texted back with a good night of his own. No mention of how his night had been or reference to not having called me. Just "good night." I replied with a "how's it going?" and he did not respond at all. So. Is this a red flag of sorts? Or am I being paranoid and he just forgot that he said he'd call me? Normally, I wouldn't have expected to hear from someone in this position at all except for the fact that his pattern has been to text and call frequently and he initiated the text from the airport saying he'd call later. In any case, I feel suspicious and unsettled, which I really do not like and don't even fully understand as I am not typically a jealous type nor prone to wild imaginings.
birdie Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I'd imagine he was really busy with his stuff if he brought any with him or maybe with any other related stuff. It sounds like you guys are in contact a lot for something that's only 10 days old. maybe it's time to slow things down a little bit - otherwise it could turn too demanding on both of you. Wouldn't say it's a red flag, no.
Krytellan Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 So. Is this a red flag of sorts? I'm sorry what? You just said that you texted him so that he would know you were going to bed and not to call. So he texts you a goodnight and you wonder why he didn't call? He didn't call because he picked up on your obvious hint not to. I would say that more accurately you are really trying to find something to be suspicious about. This isn't it. He did what you intended him to do. Give the guy a break.
Author StartingOver07 Posted September 6, 2007 Author Posted September 6, 2007 I'm sorry what? You just said that you texted him so that he would know you were going to bed and not to call. So he texts you a goodnight and you wonder why he didn't call? He didn't call because he picked up on your obvious hint not to. I would say that more accurately you are really trying to find something to be suspicious about. This isn't it. He did what you intended him to do. Give the guy a break. No... He texted at 9 that his plane had landed and that he'd call when he got to the house. The house is 30 minutes away. I didn't say goodnight until after midnight. We don't generally talk on the phone that late, so I think I waited more than enough time, don't you? And, honestly, I am generally not a suspiious type. There's just something off about this that I can't put my finger on and thought maybe there'd be wisdom here.
Krytellan Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 It's just a lot easier to keep track of time when you're the one waiting for the call. People do get caught up in life sometimes and lose track.
Lostgurl Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I think that you might be letting your imagination run just a little here. He was probably pretty tired after all the travelling, and packing. Also, you were the one that said goodnight first right? I mean, you didn't ask him how things were at first, and get no reply. You basically just as you said, let him know that you were going to sleep, so it wasn't like it was an opening for conversation or anything. Chances are he probably turned his phone off after he said goodnight. There could be a thousand explanations. Try not to worry so much.
dropdeadlegs Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I don't see this one incident as a red flag, but if there is something amiss that you can't put your finger on, keep your eyes open and proceed with caution.
Star Gazer Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I believe you're being completely paranoid. The dude's in the middle of packing his life up in one state and moving to another. That said, there's something to be said about gut instinct: I don't see this one incident as a red flag, but if there is something amiss that you can't put your finger on, keep your eyes open and proceed with caution. But I still wouldn't hold on to this one failure to call in THREE HOURS as a red flag.
Recommended Posts