ross37 Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 My girlfriend and i are approaching our 8 months together and she just got on birth control about 4 months ago and she was fairly skinny before, but since shes been on birth control, shes gained some weight. Shes always talking about how fat she is and how her clothes dont fit her anymore. I think shes beautiful no matter what, but i never know the right things to say. What do girls want to hear from their boyfriends when they meantion about how clothes dont fit anymore? I always tell my girlfriend she looks beautiful when she says something like that and she just gives me a mean look
KittenMoon Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 Geez, these should be no-brainers: - "Well, I think the new curves make you look HOT" - "You've never looked more beautiful to me" - "A lot of girls gain a little weight on the pill- I think it's made you look amazing!" Any of the above, mix and match, etc. Stay away from "You look beautiful to me no matter what" because it can kinda sound like you're saying "it's ok if you're a cow" (at least in the mind of a anxious female). A good idea too would be to maybe take her out to Vicky's Secret, buy her some lingerie that makes her feel uber-sexy, then bang her brains out.
Izzy B Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I don't know what you should say but she can't really use the birth control excuse for gaining weight. It doesn't cause weight gain whatsover, eating more and/or exercising less does. Last fall I lost 25 pounds and I was on the pill, being on the pill has never had an effect on my weight. The only thing which has had an effect on my weight is eating more and/or exercising less. My doctor even told me the pill doesn't cause weight gain. Do you guys go out to eat more?
KittenMoon Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I don't know what you should say but she can't really use the birth control excuse for gaining weight. It doesn't cause weight gain whatsover, eating more and/or exercising less does. Last fall I lost 25 pounds and I was on the pill, being on the pill has never had an effect on my weight. The only thing which has had an effect on my weight is eating more and/or exercising less. My doctor even told me the pill doesn't cause weight gain. Do you guys go out to eat more? Actually, it does cause weight gain in some people. Not all, but some. Generally it's minimal, and often just water gain, but 5-10lbs can be alot on someone with a small or skinny frame. I was on the pill for 5 years or so, it didn't cause any noticeable weight gain, except in my boobs, which were DEFINITELY bigger while on it. And in many of my friends it caused visible weight gain, which then dissapeared after they stopped. She could try a different brand of pill too- it might not have the same effects.
loveinlife Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 Geez, these should be no-brainers: - "Well, I think the new curves make you look HOT" - "You've never looked more beautiful to me" - "A lot of girls gain a little weight on the pill- I think it's made you look amazing!" Any of the above, mix and match, etc. Stay away from "You look beautiful to me no matter what" because it can kinda sound like you're saying "it's ok if you're a cow" (at least in the mind of a anxious female). A good idea too would be to maybe take her out to Vicky's Secret, buy her some lingerie that makes her feel uber-sexy, then bang her brains out. good examples kitten, =)
birdie Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 listen to what Kitten said, make her feel sexy and show her that you love her body by following your words with action
quankanne Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 I've always been heavy, and have never really considered myself that attractive when slim and slender have always been the rage. However, a recent conversation with a friend from college made my day. We talked about what we used to look like in college 20 years ago and I pointed out to him that because I've always been heavy, the change hasn't been that harsh, I was used to it. and bless his heart, he tells me "I dunno Jo, I remember you as curvy …" definitely sounding VERY appreciative of the memory. so it's not so much what you say, but how you say it that counts. Because that one admission from that friend has done more to lift up my spirits than anything I can think of.
corrosive vinyl Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 great responses. You would be surprised at the people who like or don't mind fat women. if you really don't mind or think she does look better, tell her. otherwise how will she know what you think? conversation is the backbone of any relationship. if you don't talk you can never fix anything and she may still feel sad or upset about it when you don't care about something as insignificant as a few pounds.
lovestruck234 Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 She could try a different brand of pill too- it might not have the same effects. Very very true. I was on a brand of The Pill for about a year, a bit more, and I did put on weight, but like KittenMoon said, not completely noticable weight gain....I think from memory about 5 - 6kg. I recently, about 2 months ago changed to a different Pill, and my God, the weight has shed back off me again. My boobs also had moved up 2 cup sizes while on this Pill too. But now I've changed, they're not as big as I would have hoped for...hmm..oh well, can't have everything. EVERY girl, unless you're the most confident girl on this planet, has to some degree, concerns about their weight... I have actually been watching some really crappy lifestyle shows lately (don't know why really) and there is a show that actually shows real women and there perceptions of their weight on this computer system. They found every women when actually shown their real body shape, was less than atleast 50% of what they had perceived. She's just insecure, like alot of the ladies, with her shape. I think the suggestion of going to get some sexy lingerie was a good idea... That always makes me feel better anyway....
katie82 Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 as a girl who is very sensitive about her weight, i feel like i can give you some input- i am of average weight and feel like ive gained about 5-6 lbs recently b/c my clothes feel really tight sometimes (i dont weigh myself or own a scale) the best thing you can do is to tell her that she doesnt look any heavier to you. as soon as you acknowledge any "new curves" or anything like that, you will only confirm in her head that she's gained weight. the best thing is for her to realize that even though she may have gained a little weight, it really isnt noticeable and not a big deal and not worth worrying about. it is in situations like this that a little white lie is totally worth it
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