krupintupple Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I met this wonderful girl over the internet on Dec 10th and we hit it off immediately. We were dating and decided that we would become friends with benefits. This continued for about 7 months and it was like we were actually a couple because she was stating how im the first guy she's ever fallen in love with and felt the same. But, there was a side to her that i didnt quite trust yet, she would frequently hang out with other guys and get really drunk, which resulted her in forgetting most of the night. That was the one main reason keeping me from becoming official with her so i decided that IF i become official with her things will be different. I received a call from her at 4am one night which eventually turn into a "i slept with this guy tonight" call. I know it wasn't cheating, but it still hurt because i wanted to BE with her and she was saying how much she loves me about 6 hours prior. A month after that incident i am now official with her. It's been about 5 weeks into this relationship and she brought up to me that she wants to become roomates with the guy she recently had the one-night-stand with. They will both be going to school around the same time and want to save money by doing this. She got really mad at me when i objected to this! and started going into a rant on how i can be so selffish at times. I said that if she moves in with this guy, i will no longer be around. SHe claims to be completely in love with me and im the best she's ever had, but her actions make me wonder...Any thoughts on this? Thanks!!
fray718 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Was this one of those situations where while you two were fwb she wanted more but you didnt want to be official yet (cuz you said she'd get drunk, etc)? If so it's possible that she is still kinda bitter about it and is doing this to spite you. She is also prob insecure....cuz I know when I'm insecure with a guy I tend to try to find other guys just in case i get dumped so that I have someone else to fall back on. She might have gotten used to being fwb...habits can be hard to break at times.
LoveLace Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I don't blame you for objecting to that. She slept with the guy while dating you, now she wants to live with him, and she can't see why you don't trust it? Ask her to put herself in your shoes...I know I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be "roomies" with a one-night-stand, and in my opinion, anyone who'd expect their boy/girlfriend to be ok with this is the one who is selfish! SHE was the selfish one when she slept with someone after saying she's in love with you. And if a person is really in love with someone, I don't know why they'd consider sex with another for even a second. I say stick to your guns. Is she hurting THAT badly for a roommate that she has to do this? Are there no other possibilities for a roommate? Financially, I would think there were other options for her. Why does she have to choose the one that can be damaging to your relationship? Ask her that. But in the end I would definitely stand your ground and tell her it's over if she moves in with him...I dont want to knock your girlfriend but I mean really, doesn't she have some common sense?
jcster Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 This woman has a serious drinking problem. That's the first thing that you have to worry about. The moving in with the one night stand, and not understanding your problem with is a huge red flag. I think you should stick to your boundaries with her.
JCD Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 She has no self control and that's why she's an alcoholic and sleeps around. Dump her.
birdie Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 maybe in the future you should skip this whole FWB thing and start dating the person you like properly. pretending you are cool with a non-exclusive relationship when you clearly aren't, is not fair on yourself.
Izzy B Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Starting out as "fwb's" is really disrespectful. I mean you're saying 'hey, I want to have sex with you, like an unpaid prostitute, but you're not worth being boyfriend/girlfriend with because I am going to be sleeping with other people." It's whack and I think you should just forget the whole thing and move on and let her move in with this guy and get some lessons on relationships. If some guy said "I want to be fwb's and maybe we can become girlfriend/boyfriend later" he'd be toast.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Don't "object" to it... just walk! No reason to establish yourself as a doormat. Why let her treat you that way? Especially when it is your choice and will to walk right into it vs. walking away from it?
Mezzi Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 Im in agreement SincereOnlineGuy. krupintupple, forget this woman she is bad news. If she wants to disrespect you and move in with a man she slept with while you were together let her.
Izzy B Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 Im in agreement SincereOnlineGuy. krupintupple, forget this woman she is bad news. If she wants to disrespect you and move in with a man she slept with while you were together let her. He was disrespectful to her by making her go through a "fwb" period first before making it official. Personally I think they are even. I am actually on her side here, lol. If some guy said to me "look, let's be FWBs before we commit as a trial period" I'd be screwing other guys, too. I think she should take the high road and dump your ass.
Mezzi Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 He didnt make her do anything in my opinion. I think she also agreed to do the FWB thing (according to him) so he didnt force her she could have said no and ended the relationship. I agree though bad start to a relationship, lots of sex with no commitment. They should have forseen the current situation happening.
Author krupintupple Posted September 9, 2007 Author Posted September 9, 2007 She was actually the one to bring up being 'friends with benefits' and I agreed to it knowing that it probably wouldn't be a very wise idea, but it seems like she also had a fear of commitments. So i figured that if this is the only route to maybe be with her someday, im going to take it. heh
Cad Rake Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 haha dude you're a sucker. Don't marry the town whore. Keep her as FWB, because she's going to break your heart otherwise.
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