jason2425 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I have a friend of 10 years who i have been completely in love with. We are both 30 years old. He knows how i feel for him but is completely adiment about being straight. but, from time to time we have messed around. Every time it happens we have been drinking. The first time it happened he instigated it. He still says he is straight and makes out with girls in front of me, has gone home with some and shattered my heart. but he never has a girlfriend. I am completely confussed. I want to believe with my heart that he may have feelings for me but is to scared to face them. but then we have never been intimate. We have never kissed, the closest thing was one time we held each other in our arms. he always tells me he is not gay. so is he bi? or is he just looking for a good time and i happen to be around. the other thing is he never returns the favor its completely one sided. I love him so much and have been honest with him and he tells me he does not have those feelings for me and he is straight. so my question is, is he straight? am i just a fix for him? is it normal for a straight man to get off from another guy? and mind you he has only been able to have an orgasm with me and nobody else. is it just because we are comfortable around each other that he can orgasm? it is so confusing. he has straight porn, and he is always all over the girls, i wish he would kiss me like he does with them. he did tell me at one point, we would make a perfect couple, if you were a girl. seriously confussed and in love
Herzen Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Yet another deeply conflicted and closeted Gay man: Sen. Craig is not alone. Your "friend" is either Bisexual or Gay. He's most definitely not straight. Right now, you're a sexual outlet for him: a "friend with benefits." His sexual orientation is not as important as is his willingness to leverage your love for sex. In short, you're being used. It's not the first time that a person--whether Gay or Straight--has exploited another's love for his/her sexual advantage. Some don't mind being used; others do. Only you can answer that question.
burning 4 revenge Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 i think hes straight. its a little known secret that straight guys can get off with other guys in times of famine. maybe not even that much of a secret if you look at the prison system. we live in such a homophobic culture that any overt homosexual experimentation immediately labels a man as gay...this doesn't happen to women though. i'm watching mtv and theres a bunch of hyper-masculine thug rappers on and my guess is more than half of them have had a dick in their mouth at one time or another
Herzen Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 i think hes straight. its a little known secret that straight guys can get off with other guys in times of famine. maybe not even that much of a secret if you look at the prison system. we live in such a homophobic culture that any overt homosexual experimentation immediately labels a man as gay...this doesn't happen to women though. i'm watching mtv and theres a bunch of hyper-masculine thug rappers on and my guess is more than half of them have had a dick in their mouth at one time or another Homophobia?! Give me a break. The guy is 30 , has never had a girl friend, has instigated sex with the OP-- outside of prison--and has never had an orgasm except with another man. WTF? And you believe it's Homophobic to surmise, from that data, that he's Gay or Bisexual? It's not Homophobic to infer the obvious.
Author jason2425 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 see, it is very complex. I can see both of your points. In one, how can any "Straight" man want to get it from another man. There are pleanty of women out there who he coudl get it from. In which he has been with Women. BUT i am the only one to have ever given him an orgasm. and not only once but a few times. from a girl, never. then on another aspect i agree that a straight man could decide to experiment. why not. I think everybody is an individual. We all dont have to be labeled and placed in one group or another. but focusing on what has taken place and what has happend. does his action speak louder than his words or are his words proving himself to be right. since we have kissed or made love, i dont know. but then i think he is just terrified and terrified to admit it to himself thats why he wont even admit it to me.
burning 4 revenge Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 there are plenty of women he can get it from? i take back my post, he's gay
Author jason2425 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 well, he has been with pleanty of girls. and there are girls who show him interest and he blows them off. then there are times he goes after them. and if he really wanted to get get with a girl all he would have to do is go to some bar and find a whore. thats all i meant is that he coudl easily go and pick one up somewhere. not that he had a bunch of booty call numbers.
birdie Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 maybe he is terrified as you say but it's not very likely. he tells you he can only orgasm with you, he probably tells this sort of thing to any girl he meets as well. that has to be the biggest BS line I've heard in my entire life one point is that you can't make him come out if he doesn't want to. the other is that he has been treating you really badly
Author jason2425 Posted September 6, 2007 Author Posted September 6, 2007 he tells you he can only orgasm with you, he probably tells this sort of thing to any girl he meets as well. that has to be the biggest BS line I've heard in my entire life thanks for your posting. no, he is really telling the truth here. if there is one thing about him he is honest even if it is brutely honest. he has told me from the begining whenever he was with a girl that he never has been able to have an orgasm. before anything started with us he has said this. I do know that it is true. he himself has never said i am the only one who can get him off, i just know i am because i have. to this day he still says he never gets off during sex. one point is that you can't make him come out if he doesn't want to. the other is that he has been treating you really badly i agree, i cannot make him come out. and i wouldnt. i am even through this being a good friend and showing him that he is excepted just as he is and showing him that people today, for the most part are execpting to gay people. I bring him around my friends who love me for me so he can see that he would be loved as well. i agree i have been treated badly and unfairly, shed many tears for him because i honestly care and love him and just cannot let him go. to me he is the one. so it is difficult but i have tried to move on but we alwasy ends up back together in someway.
Fun2BMe Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 we have never been intimate. We have never kissed, the closest thing was one time we held each other in our arms. the other thing is he never returns the favor its completely one sided. Like he said, he would kiss you only if you were a girl. It is one sided because he has no feelings for you and doesn't care that you are not being satisfied, he only wants to get himself off. and mind you he has only been able to have an orgasm with me and nobody else. I think he's using that line as an excuse so that you don't mind getting him off while not getting anything back from him in return - after all you're the only one who can give him an orgasm so you wouldn't want him not to have any would you? I bet every girl he sleeps with also gives him orgasms! he has straight porn, and he is always all over the girls, i wish he would kiss me like he does with them. he did tell me at one point, we would make a perfect couple, if you were a girl. Unless you are a girl, he is not going to kiss you or be intimate with you. He has told you straight up, and his actions confirm this to be the case. He is basically straight but likes to be 'gay' in a limited way as long as a guy gets him off without kissing and he doesn't have to return the favor since doing it to you is not going to get him off and he doesn't care enough to want to get you off. He's only using you while you hope for him to change into a full gay person instead of the limited version he is.
O'Malley Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 He still says he is straight and makes out with girls in front of me, has gone home with some and shattered my heart. I love him so much and have been honest with him and he tells me he does not have those feelings for me and he is straight. Gay, straight or bi, he's a user and a jerk towards you. You're never going to have the relationship you want from him.
sb129 Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 I don't get it. You say you have never been intimate with the guy, but you say he can only orgasm with you. That doesn't make sense at all.
Fun2BMe Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 I don't get it. You say you have never been intimate with the guy, but you say he can only orgasm with you. That doesn't make sense at all. It took me a while to get that too. He considers intimate kissing. To some people sex is just a mechanical thing without feelings involved - they give/ receive only to physically get off such as is the case with the OP and the guy he likes, whereas if he were to kiss him then it would be intimate, like with a prostitute.
sb129 Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 Must be a great kisser if he can orgasm thru that alone. He said in the OP somewhere that they hadn't kissed. Somethings not adding up,.
Author jason2425 Posted September 10, 2007 Author Posted September 10, 2007 no he cant orgasm through kissing alone. he has only been able to orgasm with me alone. I do know that this is true because before we ever did anything for the first time he would tell me and his brother in front of me that he is unable to get off while having sex. so up to the point of our first time he had not orgasmed. the first time we did anything i asked him why he wanted to do this and he said, well i cant ever get off with a girl so i thought i would try it. and well, he got off with me. we did come very close to kissing he was facing me and holding me and everything. but i didnt close in for the kiss because i wanted it to be his decision. I think he is either very scared and wont break open for a very long time, or else he is predominately straight with about a 1/3 of gay tendencies. i know that the both of us are extremely comfortable around each other and we do care about each other. but i guess i need to decide if i can just settle for friends with benefits and not want more. which i do not think i can do. thanks for all the posting. i appreciate your input.
sb129 Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 So you got him off without kissing him? Thats not very nice of him, that would make me feel cheap. Jason, I think this guy is in denial, and you probably shouldn't pin too many hopes on having a fulfilling relationship with him if thats how he treats you.
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