annabelle75 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Its only a week and a half until I’ll be seeing my ex-BF. The closer it gets the more warm and fuzzy I am getting about being with him again. I’m starting to think its going to be hard if not impossible to remain distant until I feel that he is really serious this time. He really is doing all the things that a BF should be doing in a LDR. In fact he even is going above and beyond. He emails me back and forth all day at work. Usually calls me at some point in the day and then chats with me for an hour or two online before bed. That would be a lot of attention for a guy to give a girl that he’s not really into, right? Its just hard to know since last time I thought things were going great too and then he suddenly called it all off. I’m terrified of it happening again. He told me this morning that he had a dream about a celebrity last night and she gave him her phone number. I told him he was “dream cheating” and he should be careful to bring home any “dream STDs.” I was just teasing him but he got kind of solemn and felt the need to assure me that the dream meant nothing and I shouldn’t feel jealous about it. He apologized for even telling me. Is it just me or was that kind of sweet? I let him off the hook and told him I was just kidding and that I wasn’t that neurotic. But the fact he was concerned about my feelings did mean a lot to me, even if it was over something this silly. Sigh ……. Do you ever get the feeling that some one is either the greatest thing to ever happen to you or they are your biggest mistake? How do you know which one they are?
spike7165 Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 Hi Annabelle I would be interested to know your full situation. I had an LDR, then lived with her, now we are separating, having a break whatever you want to call it, with the possibility of a future if I can get my self sorted out, with work money, personally etc and the looming future of a semi-ldr with me trying to win her round. So what happened with you?
Lyssa Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 Annabelle, hi! I haven't been reading your updates of late but it's good to know that something is happening! Somehow, I always look forward to your threads/posts. Oh boy! Have I ever got that feeling?? Oh gee whizz.. I do not know which is which, you know. My BF in the beginning was my biggest mistake, I thought so because he was married but at the same time, he was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew what that line meant until I met him. I always hear my friends using that line but... I never understood that until my BF came into my life. Now that his marriage is over and we're both taking it one day at a time, I'm beginning to get that feeling again and this time even more - that he IS the best thing ever happened!! We're in LDR too. He's all the way there in Cape Town where else I am all the way here in Kuala Lumpur. What he did.. to apologise even though it was just a dream is -sweet! It's cute that he thought you were somewhat serious/affected by it. I'm glad you're feeling happy all over again because from what I have read before you haven't been yourself? Unless I read it wrong...
Author annabelle75 Posted September 6, 2007 Author Posted September 6, 2007 Thank you lyssa. I’m glad to hear you aren’t doing so bad either. For anyone, here is my original thread here on LS, when he first dumped me back in April: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t117474/ Going back and looking at it now brings back a lot of bad feelings. I was crushed. I had never felt the way I felt about him, about anyone else. After a lot of bad relationships and a disappointing marriage I though I had finally come out the other side and was right were I was suppose to be. I thought things were perfect between us and he really pulled the rug out form under me when he decided it was not worth the effort anymore. He has since admitted that he freaked himself out. The pressure of dating an older, established woman with a child that lived almost 2000 miles away was a little too much. Even though I never pressured him he freaked because he knew that for the relationship to progress his life would have to drastically change. I really have no idea why he changed his mind and started pursuing me again. I’ve never really confronted him about it and asked what is different now. I don’t want him to feel pressured, but at the same time he knows I am hesitant to commit myself to him as I did before. I’m just gonna have to wait and see what happens. I just feel that if there is even a small chance he is “the one” I need to see this through. I still love him and he is doing his best to win me back. Going back and reading my first heartbreaking post here at LS, I laughed a little at the mention of being stuck with plane tickets for a trip to see him he canceled. He did pay me back fro the tickets but I am now using the airline credit for our trip next week. He is also footing the bill for my hotel and most of my expenses. I’m getting a free trip out of this deal. That’s kind of cool. He knows he screwed up and he isn’t afraid to take the steps to make up for it. I’m going to step back into this relationship with cautious optimism. I’m scared to death of getting crushed again, but part of me still thinks that he may be the guy I have been waiting for.
Lyssa Posted September 6, 2007 Posted September 6, 2007 Any younger man would feel pressured dating an older, established woman but the fact that he admitted he freaked out was very matured of him. Some men I know would have just cut it loose and go without even an explaination sometimes! I think with the time apart, he had a lot of time to think about what he wants in life. He probably did just that. He realised he let go of something potential and now is seeking it back. He is doing everything and really making an effort! Just step back, like you said and let things take it's cause one day at a time. Just enjoy the vacation, the pampering and of course, each other's company. You know the saying "If you love someone, set them free.. if they come back to you, it's meant to be"... - maybe this is one of it? Enjoy yourself and keep us posted!! *hugs*
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