Hold_On Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Maybe this describes your relationship with your ex: you wanted a commitment and they didn't. They were with you for a long time but could never make up their mind. I feel that in this situation it is better to leave-why stay with someone who cannot make up their minds if they love you enough or not? Why waste all of that time on someone like that? Let them find someone else to waste time with! My question is though: What reasons do people do this for? It seems odd when someone can move in with someone and yet they can't commit to marriage? Am I the only one to just have to ask: What the heck is up with that?
Reactor Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Yeah this applies to me. If someone has to make a decision about a relationship (due to commitment problems) thats wrong IMO. Wrong for both parties involved, it removes the person who wants to commit ability to make their own choices and makes them a nervous wreck who is too busy worrying about the other persons 'decision' instead of their own problems. And it makes the person making decision either very cold or distant. And it also brings on un-needed stress. You're best off out of it! And for your second question, I see alot of times with relationships that people get carried away, you know they get caught up in the game and they do things in a relationship because their friends are doing it etc. This generally shows a lack of maturity in regards to relationships, my ex for instance ran into our relationship too fast and when I couldn't live up to her requirements/expectations she just broke it off. Then I asked to her think and she thought and we got back together. Then she thought some more and decided to break up with me. I made the mistake once, but it won't happen again. As you say you're best of letting them go and finding someone who won't mess you about. It should all be natural in relationships, sure a relationship will go through its bad periods, but if you really want to be with that person you will fight through them. As for the moving in bit, I've never quite worked that out myself, but I am constantly told "Going out with someone is completely different from living with them everyday." So I guess these people move in with the thought that their relationship will be the same as it always was, but quite often sacrifices are needed to be made by both people in order to make the relationship work, I guess sometimes people are just incapable of making those sacrifices and can't move onto marriage. Regards, Reactor
niceguy27 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I wrote a letter to my ex for the exact same reason. Fear of commitment. I probably wont give it to her just yet, we are slowly talking things out a little bit at a time. Mix of NC and LC. And we have not seen each other in close to two weeks. Anyway, check out my other post about the long letter. It may help you understand a little bit better.
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