amber1 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Okay, about 2 weeks ago this guy and I started emailing each other on a dating site. He mentioned that it would be much better to talk on the phone than write emails. I agreed and gave him my number figuring if he's interested, he'll call. So he emails me a couple of days later and says he will give me a call that night if he didn't get home too late. He never did. It hasn't been that long since he said he would call, but he just emailed me and told ME to call him and gave me HIS number. See, I don't like to chase anymore. I used to and then just ended up looking like a desperate idiot. I would like to get to know him better but I shouldn't call him, should I? Should I even email him back? If I should, what do I tell him?
Krytellan Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 By asking you to call him he's testing you and your resolve. If you give in he will see it as a sign of desperation/weakness and forever have that impression of you.
Author amber1 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 Thanks for your reply. I was kind of thinking the same thing. I figured that if I do it then he will expect me to initiate a lot of things (if not everything) from then on.
mental_traveller Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Why not text or email him back and encourage him in a flirty way to call you? Like tease him about not making enough effort to catch your interest. Use a bit of humour and you can drop the hint without looking desperate or like you are doing all the work.
Krytellan Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Good idea. Send a text about wanting to talk and wondering if he has the nerve to call you, or something like that. Dangle the carrot and make him give in. I like it.
curiousnycgirl Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Or just drop him a note saying that you understand he is busy - and suggest he call when things settle down.
Ihatethis84 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 To me this sounds like a game that will be played. He is probably just feeling the exact way you are in that he is nervous to call you.
shadowplay Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Call him. He's being tentative because he's never met you. It's not possible for a guy to be that interested until he's actually met a girl in the flesh, unless he's really desperate for some reason. You'll have plenty of opportunity to prove to him you're not desperate or weak when the two of you meet. Your interaction in person will overshadow anything that happened before, so nothing you do now will set a precedent for later.
Krytellan Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Call him. He's being tentative because he's never met you. It's not possible for a guy to be that interested until he's actually met a girl in the flesh, unless he's really desperate for some reason. I totally disagree. He's trying to get her to be the initiator. If it is true, it's time for him to step up and be a big boy. Little fraidy boys don't get far in this world and there's a reason for that... it's unattractive. He's the one that wanted to move it to phone, it is his obligation to call.
Author amber1 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 Yeah, I'm not going to call him first. After all, he is the one who suggested talking on the phone and he did say that he would call me. I'll try the little flirty message and see what his response is. Thanks for all of the replies.
Author amber1 Posted September 7, 2007 Author Posted September 7, 2007 Well yesterday I emailed him a little flirty message about him being the one who said he would call me. Last night he emailed me back and said that he would call me tonight. Nothing. So I guess he is a liar. Good to know that he is now before I got into anything with him.
Author amber1 Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 Hmmm...okay this guy just called me like 3 hours ago. I didn't answer the phone because I wasn't near it. So it has been 6 days since he said he would call AND he called me sort of late, at 11:45 pm. Kinda late imo for the first time you ever call someone. He left a message that was pretty casual and left his number. He also said he tried to call me before and couldn't get through (which I think is likely not true). He also texted me and said: "When we hangn out?" So should I call this one back or is he a flaky jerk?
Krytellan Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 I cant believe you're even asking. Good luck.
Author amber1 Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 Yeah I won't call him back lol.
Krytellan Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 So update us after you call him back, OK
Author amber1 Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 Seriously, I'm not going to. I'm trying to stop making stupid mistakes that I have made in the past. This guy is now calling after I had decided to forget about him. He's too late. His loss.
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