WhyIsThisSoHard Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 So my boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me 6 weeks ago. It honestly came as a huge shock to me, given that we had spoken about our future plans together just a few weeks before after a visit to my parents house. I feel like the biggest reason he ended things is that he and I are both getting ready to graduate from grad school and he is somewhat of a workaholic. His focus right now totally seems to be revolving around the various projects he is working on and the impending job search. He is in a super competitive field and he puts tremendous pressure on himself to be the best at everything he does. He has apparently tasted a little bit of success and it has all gone to his head. Lots of his other friends have noticed this and aren't too thrilled with his behavior either. Everyone agrees he is acting really selfish at the moment. I am not really sure what to do from here. Every time we have spoken about our relationship, he just responds that he needs time and space to collect his thoughts, he isn't ready to talk about anything yet, and he just needs this right now. He has told me that he still loves me and cares about me, but I'm just so frustrated with his behavior towards me. I know that I am not completely without blame in terms of how our relationship played out and I have started going to counseling and making some positive changes for myself. And while I am making these changes for myself, I can't help but wonder if it would make a difference in how he feels about everything. So I guess my question is if I should get in contact with him and talk to him about all these sorts of things. I have thought about sending him a letter, as it would be the least intrusive method of laying out these things and I'm still not sure if he is ready to talk at the moment. And then I'm not sure if six weeks is enough time, and if I should wait longer to contact him. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Hold_On Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 If you guys are broken up, trying to get back together with him won't help. Contacting him will most likely make things work. However, if you want some closure, it might be ok to email him and just ask him the reason for the breakup. I feel for you as I have my own pain in this area. We all here are trying to deal with it. No one ever died from a broken heart-so they say. Gotta make it through the tears and the pain. Hugs...I hope you can begin to heal.
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