sedgwick Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Because I'm currently going through a very painful breakup, I've been digging out my old journals and reading old blogs from the last two awful breakups. One was in 2001, one in 2004. Both times I thought I'd found my soulmate. Both times I thought I'd never love again. I essentially felt/said all the same stuff I'm saying now. It's comforting to me because I have NO feelings for either of these people anymore. In fact, I went and found pictures online of one of them, the 2004 guy, and made myself look at every one, and felt nothing but, "What was I thinking?" I remember thinking he was sooooo sexy and soooo talented, and he really was just a conceited jerk with dubious fashion sense. The one before him, the 2001 guy, is now with someone else, and the only thing I really think when I look at him is that I hope he's treating his new girlfriend better than he treated me. Of course I wonder what it is about her that's made him stay with her for so long and why he didn't feel that way about me, but it's a rhetorical question at this point. Seeing pictures of him with someone else doesn't hurt. According to my blogs, it took me three months to go out with someone else in 2001, after having been with the first guy for five months. I was still hung up on him, but by the following summer I was pretty much over it. 2004 guy and I were together for 7 months, and it took longer to get over him, but we broke up in June, and by April of the following year I was (briefly) dating someone else. The current ex dumped me on July 16. For three days I just lay in a ball in the floor and cried until I puked. This month would have been a year for us, and today I cried a little, and yesterday I cried a little, but not like the first week. The first week I couldn't walk out the door without sitting down on the sidewalk and crying. I couldn't make it to the grocery store a block away. Now I'm planning a six-week vacation, a road trip down South and then a few weeks in Mexico. (The great thing about being a writer: you can do it from anywhere.) I'm hoping that time with my family and a lot of yoga on the beach will help me get over it even more. So anyway, what was the longest you pined after a breakup, and how did you finally get over it?
directx Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 3 Months, but it wasn't like I was instantly over it. I'm pretty honest with my feelings, and those 3 months was a pretty long time. How did i get over it? Well, it was definitley done by much internal analysis of myself. It was my biggest learning period about relationships, so it was definitely necessary. There is not going to be one answer, but for me, the best way to get over it was time and honest self-analysis. I can honestly say I have no feelings for this person anymore, so thats good I guess. Enjoy
Pyro Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 It took about four months for me to get over my worst break-up. Those four months were awful but I did alot of reading that really helped me put things into perspective and I had some really great friends to help me out along the way. The reading really did work because my next break-up took me less than a month to get over and both girls I dated for the same amount of time.
Art_Critic Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 I was over my 5 year marriage as soon as the divorce was final... but the longest it even took me to get over a heartbreak was about a year.. in late 2004 for no known reason a girl I had been seeing tore a hole in me.. Really.. looking back there was no reason for it.. but you can't help how you feel.. What helped me to move on was dating other people.. it took a while but as soon as I had gone out with 2-3 other women I was over her.. What is it that they say.. The easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone new..
directx Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 but the longest it even took me to get over a heartbreak was about a year.. in late 2004 for no known reason a girl I had been seeing tore a hole in me.. Really.. looking back there was no reason for it.. but you can't help how you feel.. I know Art! SOmetimes there is that one unknown reason a particular girl just 'gets hold of you!' and you can't figure out a reason for it! Ugh!
frd150 Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 This break up has been extremely tough. The initial pain took about 6 months to get over, enough was enough. Since then I have spent time truly focusing on myself which has helped a ton. Alot of people here say to focus on yourself but at first it is hard to do because the grief is so overwhelming in alot of cases. I think that some people may find it selfish to focus on themselves since they had spent so much time focusing on someone else. You just have to get used to it. This is your time to prep for your next relationship. The heartbreak is still there and it has come with valuable lessons. I am learning them with a clearer mind than the one I had just a few months ago. Her Loss.
marty Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 I know Art! SOmetimes there is that one unknown reason a particular girl just 'gets hold of you!' and you can't figure out a reason for it! Ugh! yep, i second that. my ex was absolutely not good for me, drove me mad, but ripped my heart out in the process, still getting over it. longest for me would be my first love at the tender age of 17 we broke up after 2 years. took me about 8 months before i could think of her without it hurting anymore. it was weird though,,, just one day , driving along, i realised i hadnt thought of her for a while (must of been days),, and it didnt hurt me. it was then i knew i could move on.
IpAncA Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Few years because I was stalked so it was hard to forget him. He liked watching me. Even lived in the same town, dorm and sometimes we exchanged converstation when he wanted to talk. Even caught him right behind me while I was walking. Didn't know it until I went another direction. Don't know why he did that. I would have talked to him if he would have made the effort. Everything was left out in the open so that's another reason why it took so long. Spent too many days thinking about it and being contantly reminded. Anyway he doesn't know where I am because I haven't seen him (thank goodness) but I know where he is. He's still around and I feel I'll never get rid of him. He's like a constant pain in the a** and is still in contact with people I know. In fact I was informed a couple of months ago he was going to law school. Why they felt the need to share this with me I don't know. Probably because their still in love with him or think I still am. I don't have any feelings for him because after I took the blinders off, I realized he's just a back stabbing uncaring selfish bastard that cares more about having everyone love him (which they do) then anything.
Kamille Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 First love. First hearbreak. Took me about 8 months because 1) I hadn't even ever heard of NC and 2) the guy enjoyed toying with my heart. Kept telling me maybe there was a chance for us in the future. Even would try to have sex with me. Then one day, he hit on a friend of mine. I got angry. Never looked back.
Travis L Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 85 days and counting... 4 year relationship, 83 days and counting The first 2 weeks were the hardest for me.. Absolutely devasted!!! I was walking through a fog of depression and self-pity. After that, I played the nice card with her and indifference but my heart still ached. Only after last week when I told her I needed NC for a while did I finally realize that I was over her.. NC lasted 3 days and now we are fighting about everything...but the feelings have pretty much left me. Her loss... A piece of me would still love the chance to start over with her but that's not going to happen anytime soon.
Curious139 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I can't remember but I think it took me about a year to get used to the idea that I'd lost my first love. I had a new g/f during that time which helped a lot. Right now, 65 days and counting. I'm still in a lot of pain and turmoil, still thinking about her all of the time, but it is fading a bit. I guess hope is fading too which has to happen but it is so hard.
Citizen Erased Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 About 2 seconds as have been the one doing the breaking up I had my reasons... But hey I am only young, plenty of time to have my heart broken
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