trying to keep brand new relationship alive...really dont want to mess this one up

[koolkat68]

okay ill try to keep this as short and to the point as possible..i got out of a relationship about a year ago that left me pretty jaded..i didnt really want to talk to anybody..i had a bruised self esteem...i finished college and moved back to my hometown...well anyway about 5 months ago i started to get back on the dating scene, but nothing to serious..i must have talked to about 4 girls in that time period...well about 2 months ago i started talking to a girl that i kinda had a crush on in high school..and to my surprise she told me she had a crush on me all the time in high school..of course me being the guy that doesnt like to reveal too much i didnt tell her i had one on her...i told her that i barely even remembered who she was...anyway we start talking and it gets a little more serious than i am ready for...then one day i wake up im like "what the hell" why not...good things arent going to happen if i just keep playing it safe....so i asked her that i would like to be exclusive with her u know b/f g/f stuff...and she said yes...

And it seems like the next day her grandmother gets really sick and she seems to be pretty cold towards...which i dismissed because of the circumstances...anyway a couple of days later i go out after drinking all day ...i invite her and she says she doesnt know if she wants to go out...so i say cool...if she decides to go out she can meet me up there....so she ends up showing up there with her friends....and she acts really cold towards me...i ask her whats a matter and she tells me that its all the stuff going on...anyway later on in the night she tells me that she came to hang out with her girlfriends...so i got kinda pissed and left the club and went to party across the border and being in the drunken state that i was i made sure that she knew about it...i sent some pretty mean drunken text messages....anyway next morning i wake up to a text that says "sorry bout last night"...so i think to myself that doesnt sound like a girl that got some mean messages last night...so i check my phone and realize i sent them to the wrong person and it was their house phone...so i got saved in that particular situation.....i talked to her later that day and she told me that im a completely different person when im drunk and that she doesnt like me when im drunk and that i reminded of her of her ex that treated her bad...so i tell her that i will try not to get that drunk again....

well her grandma gets better and it seems as though she is still being a little cold towards me....so i dont try to crowd her and just keep casual communication flowing...anyway that friday while she was at work i sent her a dozen roses...and she calls me and tells me thank you...and later on through out the day she keeps calling me and it seems as though things are back to being the way they were before i had my drunken episode...and i tell her that i feel as though i havent seen her in ages (at this point it had been a week already) and she tells me that i didnt say anything, if i wanted to see her all i had to do is say something...so i was like thats cool it seems as though things are really back to normal......so i went out of town for labor day weekend and that saturday she texts me telling me that her grandmother has just passed....and i text her and told her that i was sorry for her loss...since that day ive talked to her once and maintained a steady flow of conversation through text messages....i really dont want to crowd her in a time like this and make it seem that its all about me...but its tuesday now and i dont know what i should do in order not to ruin this relationship...i really like this girl...i know i could really mess things up if i make a wrong move...so i just need some advice on what i should or how i should handle things...any advice u guys give me would be greatly aprecciated...i tried to keep it short sorry

[directx]

So what's the deal?

Did you got to the funeral? I hope you did. I hope you sent a sympathy card as well.

 

The drunk stuff? Immature. Grow out of that.

 

Does she annoy you with her attitude because she doesn't seem to really want to be with you? I suggest adopt the attitude of 'speak up or shut up'.

 

Just tell her flat out: You want me here or not? If not, I have other things I'd like to do.

 

If she doesn't talk to you. Just ask 'Hey? Do you want to talk or do you want me to go? Because I don't have time for games.'

 

Be prepared to let her loose. Doesn't sound like she's into you and/or doesn't respect you because you are too easy.

 

Show some independence and your time means something.

 

She's jerking you around, and the more you let her, the less respect she'll have for you.

[Saxis]

I think you really need to have a good talk with her. I'd just let her know that I was there to talk, or anything else she needed. I'm guessing she'll be spending quite a bit of time with family for a while and probably feels pretty darn vulnerable right now, so just be patient.

[koolkat68]

well i went to the funeral home yesterday.....and i seemed to be the only person there that wasn't family....i felt kinda weired...but i was there for her....so i was there and when she saw me she started to cry....i didnt know what to make of it...anyway later that night she text me to tell me thanks for coming...and she was glad that there was someone there for her...and thats the latest