2sunny Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 There - I said it. But why? I also can't stand a wimpy man myself.
Lizzie60 Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 There - I said it. But why? I also can't stand a wimpy man myself. Only 'wimps' have a hard time with a strong woman... Strong men don't.
Herzen Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 The problem is that one person's "strong personality" is another person's "bitch." Weak personalities are boring; while ultra-strong personalities are wearing. I'll take someone in the broad middle.
directx Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 I certainly do not. I have a problem with women that can't take it as well as dish it out, though. That's just being a bully. I love those Spartan women in the movie 300...
johan Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 "Strong personality" can have several meanings. It could be someone with lots of personality (funny, outgoing, talkative, etc.), or a strong character, or someone who is more assertive than average. I prefer the first two the the last. I don't deal well with highly assertive people, because they require so much energy. I've known women who made unsolicited claims about how confident and assertive they were. It seems like they just want you to believe it without seeing it. They tend to be pretty average in terms of both, and it was their insecurities talking. Some of them were right, but they were also abrasive and annoying. I honestly can't be with a woman who makes me compete with her all the time.
jcster Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 I honestly can't be with a woman who makes me compete with her all the time. I think that's a very honest statement, and the germ of the problem. I've been there - for years I was the girl with the "strong personality" that guys found so scary. I finally realized that some guys like competitive women and some don't. A lot of guys do all their competing in other parts of their life, and want women to relax with. It's a bit of a double standard, but then again, there are things that I do with my female friends that I don't want to do with guys that I date either. Now I realize that it's just a flavor. Some flavors are easier to digest than others, but it's about finding someone who appreciates your personality, rather than trying to change it to appeal to the broader audience.
Author 2sunny Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 "Strong personality" can have several meanings. It could be someone with lots of personality (funny, outgoing, talkative, etc.), or a strong character, or someone who is more assertive than average. I prefer the first two the the last. I don't deal well with highly assertive people, because they require so much energy. I've known women who made unsolicited claims about how confident and assertive they were. It seems like they just want you to believe it without seeing it. They tend to be pretty average in terms of both, and it was their insecurities talking. Some of them were right, but they were also abrasive and annoying. I honestly can't be with a woman who makes me compete with her all the time. i do have characteristics that you list - funny - smart - outgoing - talkative (not too much though - i hate that). i also love sports and can talk sports with any man. i am also assertive and have good morals/values. my confidence level is great - was never jealous of my gorgeous husband in all the years we were married. it just seems like men are too easily intimidated by a secure woman these days... why is that?
SillyScissors Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 That side of me comes out around 5am. But then I take my pill and it goes away
TogetherForever Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 That side of me comes out around 5am. But then I take my pill and it goes away So you are a male that needs medication to deal with us strong women.
Mustang Sally Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Strong, as in noxious (like a bad odor that gets worse and worse)? Or strong, as in say-what-you-mean-and-mean-what-you-say and know what you want and go get it? I don't like wishy-washy people. But too noxious is no good, either. I find that men that can't handle the mean-what-you-say in me are not good matches for me.... Probably as it should be.
Art_Critic Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Define strong personality? Strong could mean overbearing, loud and obnoxious, or it could mean outgoing, rude, etc etc... To me strong personality women are those that think men are beneath them and treat them as such... or abrasive... Now.. a woman who is independent.. free thinking..career driven.. etc etc.. those to me don't mean strong personality.. those mean she is self reliant and can stand on her own 2 feet by herself.. So... A man might have a tough time dealing with a woman who is abrasive but not when she is independent and self reliant.. @sunny... you are not abrasive.. do the men you pick have a tough time dealing with your self reliance ?
SillyScissors Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Always take with milk. And watch your step when you chew
Mustang Sally Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 it just seems like men are too easily intimidated by a secure woman these days... why is that? Hmm. Maybe you are looking in the wrong places? Or maybe it's just a streak...you know, a temporary thing. Keep your chin up. There are lots of good men out there, you will find a good one for you.
directx Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 it just seems like men are too easily intimidated by a secure woman these days... why is that? It could be the men you find that are intimidated simply are not secure in themselves or confident. A guy that can understand and appreciate such a strong personality without being a doormat is a good find, because that tells me he knows himself and can appreciate you as an individual. I can never understand guys that want a weak/needy woman. Tells me they need that ego power trip.
Author 2sunny Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 Define strong personality? Strong could mean overbearing, loud and obnoxious, or it could mean outgoing, rude, etc etc... To me strong personality women are those that think men are beneath them and treat them as such... or abrasive... Now.. a woman who is independent.. free thinking..career driven.. etc etc.. those to me don't mean strong personality.. those mean she is self reliant and can stand on her own 2 feet by herself.. So... A man might have a tough time dealing with a woman who is abrasive but not when she is independent and self reliant.. @sunny... you are not abrasive.. do the men you pick have a tough time dealing with your self reliance ? i'm not strong - loud or overbearing - or abrasive at all... far from it - AC! i hold men in high regard... above me! i love strong men who can hold their own. yes - i am independent - free thinking - a fun loving free spirit of sorts ( i ran to the ocean last week nude with my friend that was with me) ....etc. maybe it is my self reliance - why would that intimidate men? i just don't know what i am doing wrong!
Art_Critic Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 maybe it is my self reliance - why would that intimidate men? A man that isn't too secure of himself might be intimidated by someone like you.. They might feel that they would never be needed in your life.. We all like to be needed and they might think if they were in a relationship with you that they would not feel like you needed them.. A fine line to toe actually... to much and you push them away.. too little and you push them away... Dealing with a guy that really isn't a secure person can be tough... I happen to always get it wrong.. Women that I have dated that projected independence always turned out to be the ones that really were not independant at all and the relationships failed.. Of course this was my determination of them.. maybe not exactly how they thought they were coming across..
Star Gazer Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 "Strong personality" can have several meanings. It could be someone with lots of personality (funny, outgoing, talkative, etc.), or a strong character, or someone who is more assertive than average. I prefer the first two to the last. I don't deal well with highly assertive people, because they require so much energy. Why does an assertive person require more energy than someone who's not assertive? I'd actually think a passive person would require more energy to deal with because they cannot ... well, assert themselves.
directx Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Why does an assertive person require more energy than someone who's not assertive? I'd actually think a passive person would require more energy to deal with because they cannot ... well, assert themselves. I so totally agree. Its so refreshing when someone just says what the hell they mean than pussyfooting around half the time. I don't have the energy to play 20 questions. Just say it flat out.
VirtualInsanity Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 i'm not strong - loud or overbearing - or abrasive at all... far from it - AC! i hold men in high regard... above me! i love strong men who can hold their own. yes - i am independent - free thinking - a fun loving free spirit of sorts ( i ran to the ocean last week nude with my friend that was with me) ....etc. maybe it is my self reliance - why would that intimidate men? i just don't know what i am doing wrong! i do have characteristics that you list - funny - smart - outgoing - talkative (not too much though - i hate that). i also love sports and can talk sports with any man. i am also assertive and have good morals/values. my confidence level is great - was never jealous of my gorgeous husband in all the years we were married. it just seems like men are too easily intimidated by a secure woman these days... why is that? Point blank...insecure.
Woggle Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Because many women think they are strong when they are just obnoxious, bellligerent and have a constant attitude. These women are an complete nghtmare to be around yet when a man just can't stand it anymore he is accused of being afraid of strong women. Somebody said that men don't want to compete with a woman and that is true. I spend all day fighting battles and slaying dragons and when I get home I just want to relax and eel at peace and with these so called strong women often that is impossible because they just want another argument over trivial crap.
Herzen Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Why does an assertive person require more energy than someone who's not assertive? I'd actually think a passive person would require more energy to deal with because they cannot ... well, assert themselves. I agree: Women who are silent/passive doormats are draining. The guy must do the thinking, talking and planning for two. That becomes exhausting. Boring, unimaginative people are such a drag. Plus, positive strong personality types are often better lovers than the doormats. I have no interest in hooking up with a "Yes, dear" submissive. I'll take a fire cracker any day.
Pyro Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 There - I said it. But why? I also can't stand a wimpy man myself. Like others have said, what is your definition of a strong personality? I am sure that everyone has their own outlook on that definition. By strong personality, I am thinking that she challenges me, she is not a pushover, she thinks for herself, and she doesn't need me by her side 24/7. Those are my type of gals. I don't understand why a guy would have a hard time with that type of gal. Perhaps they don't like to be challenged, but what fun is that?
TudorII Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Enjoying a strong personality woman means you don't have the need to be controlling or dictating in a relationship. Strong personalities often know what they like, what they want, when they want it, how they want it, etc. If a guy is the type that wants to pick where to eat dinner, wants to control the conversation, lead not follow, wants to control the sexual positions or options in the bed, etc...they they will most likely not enjoy a woman with a strong personality or at the very least have trouble adapting to one. I for one prefer a strong minded, strong opinion and strong personailty in a woman. It takes the guess work out of it most of the time and allows you get to right to the point because you are getting feedback! In short there is nothing wrong with your personality, you just need to go after men that don't mind a woman with an opinion or a voice. I mean really, I would rather save my tongue about an extra 15 minutes of wondering around by a strong personality woman not beign afraid to say "a little to the left!!!"
Pyro Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Enjoying a strong personality woman means you don't have the need to be controlling or dictating in a relationship. Strong personalities often know what they like, what they want, when they want it, how they want it, etc. If a guy is the type that wants to pick where to eat dinner, wants to control the conversation, lead not follow, wants to control the sexual positions or options in the bed, etc...they they will most likely not enjoy a woman with a strong personality or at the very least have trouble adapting to one. I for one prefer a strong minded, strong opinion and strong personailty in a woman. It takes the guess work out of it most of the time and allows you get to right to the point because you are getting feedback! In short there is nothing wrong with your personality, you just need to go after men that don't mind a woman with an opinion or a voice. I mean really, I would rather save my tongue about an extra 15 minutes of wondering around by a strong personality woman not beign afraid to say "a little to the left!!!" Thanks for translating my post.
jcster Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Because many women think they are strong when they are just obnoxious, bellligerent and have a constant attitude. These women are an complete nghtmare to be around yet when a man just can't stand it anymore he is accused of being afraid of strong women. Somebody said that men don't want to compete with a woman and that is true. I spend all day fighting battles and slaying dragons and when I get home I just want to relax and eel at peace and with these so called strong women often that is impossible because they just want another argument over trivial crap. HA HA HA HA HA! How many of your male friends are absolute dicks but you still hang out with them. How many of your male friends will argue for 1/2 hour over esoteric exceptions to game rules? How many of your male friends are loud and belligerent? You don't want a girlfriend, you want a Valium and a fuzzy pillow. And leave the dragons alone, they're not hurting anyone.
Recommended Posts