angie16 Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 you can see my thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t128658/ i know where we went wrong. i am doing NC. How long to i not contact him? This feels cruel. I am a mess. How long and then how can i get him back? 30 days? 60? 2 weeks. please need advice
Ormolu611 Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 you can see my thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t128658/ i know where we went wrong. i am doing NC. How long to i not contact him? This feels cruel. I am a mess. How long and then how can i get him back? 30 days? 60? 2 weeks. please need advice I read your other thread, and I am very, very sorry about your situation. Unfortunately, there is nothing that you can do at this point to get him back. This is something that he will have to decide. Is this fair to you? No it isn't. You mention that this feels cruel to you, and it is kind of a violent thing, to separate and be in sudden no contact with someone that you care so much for. What can you do? Try to keep busy. This is something that I still struggle to do, but it is important. Whatever you do, do not chase him or it will push him further away. If you contacted him crying and begging, he might take you back but it will not last because under such circumstances, guilt would probably be the over-riding reasons for the second chance. He will grow to resent you and dump you even more decisively the next time. So to answer your question, do not contact him. This may be one of the most difficult things you have ever done, but ironically, it is probably the best chance you have for getting him back.
Author angie16 Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 yeah you're right. oh man. this is tough. its just so hard because when he told me we shouldn't be together anymore i left -- moved out the next day. and now i am staying wtih my mother (i feel 16 again! I'm 28!!!!!!) and i have to find a new place. i am just crushed. my boyfriend and my home gone.
Curious139 Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Yes it is tough and we all understand that. Devastating. However Ormalu is correct. If there is any chance of resuming your relationship, he has to take the step. None of us can make someone else love us - it has to come from within them. NC is to allow you to heal, to let time pass and for the pain to recede. Just how much time depends upon the individual. In my case 2 1/2 months isn't enough but the profound sense of loss isn't as strong as at the beginning. You'll get there, just take it one day at a time.
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