SillyScissors Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 I'm hugely worried about this comment. Kids don't have a hold over their parents. Parents are responsible for their kids. This attitude about his kids having a "hold" over him sickens me a bit. Dont Kids Hold hands?
TogetherForever Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 You stuck ???????????? EWWW. I wash after And your point would be?....
TogetherForever Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 The brooms must be in the shop. I heard feather dusters are go also You no speak english?
SillyScissors Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Where there is a point I would recommend grinding it down.
blowingthetrout Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 You no speak english? Ugh! How disgusting! How dare you say something that obscene and distasteful! If I want to hear about little children holding hands and praying I'll find the appropriate fetish web site on the internet! You sir disgust me, and your statement should be censored.
blowingthetrout Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Ugh! How disgusting! How dare you say something that obscene and distasteful! If I want to hear about little children holding hands and praying I'll find the appropriate fetish web site on the internet! You sir disgust me, and your statement should be censored. So who wants to be first to compliment me upon my sextacular flaming queenie entrance!?!
SillyScissors Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 You no speak english? aspestoso empatar
SillyScissors Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 So who wants to be first to compliment me upon my sextacular flaming queenie entrance!?! So sexy, I am in lust
Author CAT100 Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 Even if he moved out his wife and kids would still need a place to live, and if he is such a good father, he would certainly make sure they were taken care of. If he didn't extend the lease, where would they live? It would be so sad if the kids had their father move out and had to move out of their house at the same time. No matter what, they need a place to live, so there is nothing stopping him from moving in with you now. Based on the past, his wife isn't going to stop him from seeing his kids, so he has nothing to lose. Since you live at home, you would need to find a new place anyway. Why are you waiting? The house here is owned by them, they are renting it out for a year whilst they are living abroad. The lease is due to expire when they return, in 1 year. Therefore, if I check & find out lease has been extended this would be because they are not moving back here & so are staying abroad! In which case I will be gone! He cannot live with me now as he is working abroad for 1 year. His kids are with him as if they stayed here he would only see them 1 week out of 4 which he does not think acceptable for different reasons On his return, he will have sold the business abroad & so can afford to move in with me, I will be working (as will have finished degree) and so we can get a place together His W & kids will stay in family home
Author CAT100 Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 I'm hugely worried about this comment. Kids don't have a hold over their parents. Parents are responsible for their kids. This attitude about his kids having a "hold" over him sickens me a bit. I didnt mean it like that, I just meant that his kids have a far more emotional ties to him than his W. 'Hold' was the wrong choice of word. I meant his kids are the reason why I would worry about him returning to the family, not his W. I didnt mean to cause offence by that comment, it was just worded wrongly on my part
whichwayisup Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 I will be working (as will have finished degree) and so we can get a place together His W & kids will stay in family home This above, completely contradicts this: I just meant that his kids have a far more emotional ties to him than his W. 'Hold' was the wrong choice of word. I meant his kids are the reason why I would worry about him returning to the family, not his W. So, what is really going to change in a year? Are his kids going to be less attached to him by then so he can move out (they'll see it as dad is bailing on them again) and move in with you? And, have you met their children? Will they have rooms at your house when you and the MM move in together? ALL of you are NOT thinking of the kids best interest. Fact that he has bounced from his wife to OW, to his wife to YOU, then to his wife again and still seeing you on the side, (well, she knows about you, but do his kids?) HOW much good is all this on those poor kids? What are THEY learning here?
Author CAT100 Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 In a year he will be moving back here & so it is possible for him to live with me and see his kids as they will be nearby. Currently he is abroad & so if his kids stayed here, he would not see them very often. This is why the kids have moved abroad with him. I know his previous A with OW was disruptive to the kids as he moved out and then back in, but this is nothing to do with me, this happened way before I met him. The plan is to live with him, very near to where the family home is, he can see the kids daily if he wants & when he feels that they can meet me then they can stay at our house. We would have a spare room for them. The kids are currently unaware of me. He last moved out nearly 6 years ago, so by the time he gets back next year, it will be 7 years since he last moved out, so its not like the kids are being subjected to regular upheaval. I am cocerned & feel guilt regards the kids, of course I do. Which is why when he lives with me I will not restrict him on visiting them as often as he likes & I will understand that they are a fundamentally important aspect of his life
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 I don't see this guy divorcing. If he wanted to divorce, he would have done it years ago. The only way he is going to leave his wife at this point, is if she has him forcibly removed from her home, and forces a divorce on him. I don't see that happening. What I see happening is pretty much what his wife sees happening: he'll dump you like the last one, and continue to stay married - and probably just pick up another OW when he gets the yearning for something on the side. As long as his wife lets him stay married while having affairs, he will never divorce her. Why would he? He stands to lose far more by divorcing than he would by staying.
smoochygirl Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Cat I'm just curious when you meet you MM Wife does she know about you being his OW? or your friend with her? How can she talk to you about personal things? Your MM bring you in his house with his Wife there and introduce you as his GF?
Author CAT100 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 Cat I'm just curious when you meet you MM Wife does she know about you being his OW? or your friend with her? How can she talk to you about personal things? Your MM bring you in his house with his Wife there and introduce you as his GF? I met her when she first found out about me. I wasnt 'introduced', it was an accidental encounter without the presence of MM. She sat down with me & we had a long chat & she was very reasonable & civil to me. I get the impression that she isnt manipulative & shes a straightforward type of person. I then met her on a few subsequent occasions which I cant really go into, but again she was fine with me & just told me that I was 'too young to get involved with someone with so much baggage' but she was polite & calm. I havent seen her for years, since the beginning of my relationship with MM. I have had phone contact & email on a few occasions but not recently, so it is possible that she now thinks Im out of the picture, I dont know
luvmy2ns Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I don't see this guy divorcing. If he wanted to divorce, he would have done it years ago. The only way he is going to leave his wife at this point, is if she has him forcibly removed from her home, and forces a divorce on him. I don't see that happening. What I see happening is pretty much what his wife sees happening: he'll dump you like the last one, and continue to stay married - and probably just pick up another OW when he gets the yearning for something on the side. As long as his wife lets him stay married while having affairs, he will never divorce her. Why would he? He stands to lose far more by divorcing than he would by staying. Agree completely, LB. You're right on target with many of your posts, IMO.
justice Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Cat, After that long I wouldn't touch that situation with a ten foot pole. Only after he had the signed divorce papers in his hand would I even bother to hope. There are always excuses on not leaving, why they can't, etc. And if he's left and come back before, you should have a pretty good picture of the way it is with him. It's up to you to take a long, hard look at the way things are and his past history in order to see what your future holds. I'd go NC until the divorce is final. If there is ever going to be one.
Author CAT100 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 I appreciate the above comments, however I do not view things in the same way. For a start, if he stays in the M he will lose out on having a partner that he actually loves & wants to be with. Both he & his W have stated to me that they do not believe M was a good idea for them & they did it for the wrong reasons. They have also both told me they do not sleep together & there is no affection. If he moves out & lives with me, he can have a loving partner & unlimited access to his kids. Surely the best of both worlds? Regards going NC till he has divorce papers, Im simply not going to do this. He is due back next year, then he is planning on living with me, then initiating divorce proceedings. If I wait till he has final divorce papers I possibly would be waiting up to 2 years (assuming divorce takes 1 year, I dont know exactly how long it would take in their situation) this is not an option for me whatsoever. I appreciate the advice, but I have made my mind up that firstly ill wait 1 year & if Im not with him at the end of it then Im gone permanantly & secondly Ive invested too much into this relationship to suddenly just quit & throw it all away. It does annoy me somewhat when I get comments like 'he'll never leave', well no- one can state catagorically what another person, especially someone they dont even know, will do. He may be LIKELY to never leave in some people opinions, but no- one can state this to me as FACT Some MM do leave, some of them do change. Maybe a very small percentage but it does happen Sorry, I do not mean to offend anyone, Im just getting a bit stressed with all the negativity
TogetherForever Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Ugh! How disgusting! How dare you say something that obscene and distasteful! If I want to hear about little children holding hands and praying I'll find the appropriate fetish web site on the internet! You sir disgust me, and your statement should be censored. YOU ARE QUOTING THE WRONG POSTER, DUH.
justice Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I appreciate the above comments, however I do not view things in the same way. For a start, if he stays in the M he will lose out on having a partner that he actually loves & wants to be with. Both he & his W have stated to me that they do not believe M was a good idea for them & they did it for the wrong reasons. They have also both told me they do not sleep together & there is no affection. If he moves out & lives with me, he can have a loving partner & unlimited access to his kids. Surely the best of both worlds? Regards going NC till he has divorce papers, Im simply not going to do this. He is due back next year, then he is planning on living with me, then initiating divorce proceedings. If I wait till he has final divorce papers I possibly would be waiting up to 2 years (assuming divorce takes 1 year, I dont know exactly how long it would take in their situation) this is not an option for me whatsoever. I appreciate the advice, but I have made my mind up that firstly ill wait 1 year & if Im not with him at the end of it then Im gone permanantly & secondly Ive invested too much into this relationship to suddenly just quit & throw it all away. It does annoy me somewhat when I get comments like 'he'll never leave', well no- one can state catagorically what another person, especially someone they dont even know, will do. He may be LIKELY to never leave in some people opinions, but no- one can state this to me as FACT Some MM do leave, some of them do change. Maybe a very small percentage but it does happen Sorry, I do not mean to offend anyone, Im just getting a bit stressed with all the negativity [/quote You come to LS for honest advice, right? Opinions? Sometimes the answers may not be what you want to hear, but alot of them are good advice and speak much from experience. Your negativity is our honesty. Most MM's do leave. Especially when BS kicks their butts to the curb and divorces them for the affair. Yes, like I did. And you know what? He comes crawling back here every so often and begs me to take him back. Will I ever do this? Not a chance in H#ll!
luvmy2ns Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 And don't forget the oft used and VERY true saying... "History repeats itself."
BubblesKittyShed Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 And don't forget the oft used and VERY true saying... "History repeats itself." So that means you'll marry another cheater again?
Author CAT100 Posted September 10, 2007 Author Posted September 10, 2007 ^ LOL! I guess if history repeats itself, & my MM leaves & I marry him he will cheat on me & find another OW. And his exW will re marry a man that will cheat on her. So I hope for all concerned that history does not repeat itself! Oh I forgot- history only repeats itself if it causes the OW problems... Cos obviously she does not deserve happiness..
Mustang Sally Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 I agree with LB. Sounds like this MM has a pretty good situation for what he seems to want: 1) W who lets him have his affairs, but still stays married to him, maybe for the sake of the kids? For appearances? I'm not sure why, but she does allow it. So doesn't look like he'll be getting "kicked to the curb" and thus made available to you full-time any time soon. I agree that after 5 yrs, I would have expected this to already happen if it were going to. And likewise, he is not leaving her, either - at least, not yet. 2) OW - you - who has thus far allowed it, also. But, maybe he will change his tune (and leave W?) when your deadline arrives? This, I think, will obviously be the true test of where his allegiance lies. Until his hand is forced, I don't see this MM changing anything. It's just too convenient for him to keep things the same. I have to say, that I think it would seem more optimistic for you and his future together if he had left his W and had his OWN place, instead of leaving to live with the (previous) OW. Would say to me that he was showing some independence, and a desire to be in control of his own destiny, so to speak. Without that, seems he and his W have a sort of co-dependence thing going that sometimes spills over onto the OW in his life (needing a place to stay, etc...)
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Of course he'll leave. This guy is as HONEST as the day is young, right Cat? He didn't LIE to you from the get go and tell you he was AVAILABLE when he was actually married ...right? This is a man of character and integrity, one who allows his wife to go into debt with him to help him start a business - but she doesn't know he's supposedly planning on leaving her in a year for his young plaything. This Father of the Year has uprooted his entire family to take them with him to another continent to start a business SOLELY for the selfish reason of building himself a nest-egg so he can desert them a year from now. Isn't that his plan? To start up a business in another country so he'll be able to build himself some equity and thereby be financially able to desert his family? That IS his plan. Sugarcoat it all you want, but that's what he's doing. My gosh, he says one thing but his actions quite say another. Father of the Year can't desert his kids - he is way too connected with them (according to him) and insisted on uprooting their entire lives just to drag them with him to another country. And you honestly think he's coming back home in a year and dumping them without a backward glance? It's a crying shame he's got you so snowed. But we'll be here in a year when you're devastated and posting that he'd LIED to you all along. We already know this. You just don't...yet.
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