What is going on?

[Rayofsunshine]

I feel like every time I move on with my life, my ex does something to pop back in!

 

Short refresher - My exbf of 10 years broke up with me on June 21st due to financial problems on his end (we lived together) and I moved out on July 7th. I did my best with NC, the only time I really broke it was if we had to discuss things (bank accounts, etc.) but nothing ever about the relationship.

 

On August 11th, I went to a surprise b-day party and he was there. We didn't speak at all but he kept staring at me. Very awkward but it kind of gave me closure. I knew in my mind that we were over because if you love someone you would do everything in your power to make sure they understood that.

 

Fast forward to now. Last weekend was my friends b-day and he was having a party. I called him to talk about the party to see if there was anything they wanted me to bring. As we were talking he informed me that my ex was coming. I think my jaw hit the floor. I asked him why and he said that the ex called him during the week and he felt bad so he invited him. He said that my ex knew that I was going to be there and he had no problem with it (how nice of him). I told my friend that was fine and I'm moving on so it shouldn't be a problem. I should have know it would be a problem for him not me the moment he came. Everyone told him to sit down and he turned to me and asked if he was allowed. He then proceded to sit (right next to me) with no expression on his face with his sunglasses on and wouldn't talk to anyone. He did say a couple of things to me but not much, then all of a sudden he said something came up and he had to leave.

 

Also let me say that I made a comment about one of our friends changing her myspace picture to a really funny one that we took of her at the shore at the b-day party (while he was still there). Guess who has a myspace account now? I made mine private so he can't check it out.

 

Now when we broke up he told me that he would not contact any of my friends since they were my friends before we even started dating. This weekend my friends and I were at a Bar-B-Q and my friends cell phone starts to ring - it's my ex. WTF? My friend didn't answer it and told me that he thinks my ex is realizing that he made a bad decision and is regretting it. I don't think that is it at all because my ex won't talk to me and if he does he is very rude and mean.

 

So far this week my ex emailed me a phone message that he got for me and he just brought down some of my mail that went to the old address and dropped it off at his parents house for me to pick up (they live 5 min away from me). I am sure that I got other pieces of mail before but he never dropped them off before, same with the voicemails. It's like all of a sudden he is trying to be nice but from a distance.

 

Does anyone have any advice on his behavior? I am totally confused by it. I'm not sure if he is being this way because I'm not sitting around waiting for him and calling him to tell him that I miss him.

 

What should I do? I don't know how to take this. I am trying to move on with my life and every where I turn he keeps popping up!

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this:D

[Jinnah]

Keep doing what you're doing, but beware... some guys don't really want you but don't want anyone else to have you either. Or he really could have realized he made a mistake like your friend suggested. You might have to ask a mutual friend since they know him (obviously one that won't tell him).

[Rayofsunshine]

Jinnah,

 

I agree with you. I think that is his mind set, that he doesn't want me to move forward. I'm not sure if he realizes his mistake or not.

 

Just today I got a couple of emails from him. He told me that he doesn't have any "issues" and in fact that he is doing quite well. He told me that he still is bitter about some of the things that I took that he thinks were his. He also told me that the reason for our demise (his words) was the finacial burdon that we were both going through, not for his freedom or space.

 

Then at the end of the email he asked me a question. He asked how I could all of a sudden be friends with my friends again after we didn't talk for a while and we both badmouthed each other. (Mind you my friends and I have been friends for over 11 years and we all know what happens when a couple of females get mad at each other and have a tiff). He also doesn't have any friends, unless you count my friends, so I guess that would be another reason he wouldn't understand.

 

He told me that my behavior was both amusing and disturbing which is why he is acting like he is with me. He say he feels that he doesn't know who I am at this point anymore. WTF?

 

The only thing that I can see that would confuse him is that I'm not contacting him about us. If I have to talk to him about something I make sure it is short and sweet, no lingering about us at all. I have also started going to the gym and have lost 15lbs and I go out with my friends a lot (the friends he was talking about earlier).

 

Any thoughts?