Yellowboy Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Well, my recent "relationship" just turned into ashes. It really didn't take off yet and she already wanted to break things off with me. Anyhow, long story short, I asked her out after she broke up with her ex. We were dating but we never got physcially attached, it was purely platonic. I don't even consider it a relationship at all, and I'm reluctant to even call her as an ex. I was well aware of her mental state, she needed time to heal and I was going to wait for her and give her the time, just be at her side and all. She wasn't crying on my shoulders, in fact, she never talked about her problems to me, I only knew about them through someone else. She also didn't reciprocate my feelings much, but again, I was ok with it as long as she'll eventually come out of her current state. Again, I was going to give her all the time she needed. I cared for her that much at least. But in the end, she felt bad about the whole thing. She apologized how she couldn't reciprocate my feelings, she needed time for herself, she didn't need a boyfriend that kind of thing...and she broke up with me. So is this even considered a rebound? I mean, she never relied on me to try to forget about her ex or try to solve her problems. I don't really even know what my purpose was to her? I feel empty as opposed to hurt...how can there be a heartache when there was nothing going on yet? I'm trying to put this behind me but I want some opinions from people... Was that a rebound thing? Was it all just consequences of bad timing? What was all of that really?
fray718 Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 how long did u two date for? My sister had somthing similar as you, except both she and the guy she dated broke up with their exes. And yes she considered it a rebound eventhough it was also very platonic. Eventhough nothing started it can still hurt but it would have hurt more had it been a full blown relationsihp. Just take this as a lesson to not date someone on the rebound again. You should actually consider yourself lucky with this girl as she knew it was a rebound and broke it off before things got too deep.
amber1 Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Exactly, just be glad it didn't become too involved. One of the last guys I dated began dating me not too long after he and his ex broke up. I thought he was ready to date but apparently not. I really liked him so much (and actually fell in love with the guy), then he went from acting like he was really into me to distant and didn't want to commit to anything with me. Now he is in a long-term relationship with someone else. It sucks being the "transitional" person or rebound. I got really hurt.
Author Yellowboy Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 We only dated a month, so yeah, it didn't go too deep and so the damage was much less. It still left me with this empty feeling though... I guess it is indeed a rebound :/ Oh well, lesson learned. Thanks for both your opinions
jusified Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 where did you meet this girl and how old are you guys. I read that you said this girl had a up and down relationship, did you hear that from her? From my past relationship I realised sometimes the up and down isn't really up and down but merely not the honey moon phase. Sometimes things work out for the best and you might not want someone like her anyways. If she can't tell you these things that really bothers her then a relationship might not work in the long ran. Got a question, if you say you want to give her space and stuff why did you hang around and be there by her side and dated her? Dude, I have made a rule for myself to not date any girl that have come out of a relationship carrying baggage, its bad.
Author Yellowboy Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 where did you meet this girl and how old are you guys. I read that you said this girl had a up and down relationship, did you hear that from her? From my past relationship I realised sometimes the up and down isn't really up and down but merely not the honey moon phase. Sometimes things work out for the best and you might not want someone like her anyways. If she can't tell you these things that really bothers her then a relationship might not work in the long ran. Got a question, if you say you want to give her space and stuff why did you hang around and be there by her side and dated her? Dude, I have made a rule for myself to not date any girl that have come out of a relationship carrying baggage, its bad. I'm 25, she's 23 (yes, I'm a late bloomer, sorry I sound so young). I already knew at the back of my head that dating someone fresh out of a relationship was leading to a possible course of failure. Yet, I went ahead and asked her out because I was afraid that one of my friends would make the move first and in the process, me losing the opportunity. In the end, I perfectly served the role of the rebound guy, opening up an opportunity to the next guy. I really have to shoot myself for that one...but yeah, it might have been for the best. It may not have worked out in the long run anyhow. I'm working hard to forget about her and it's good that there aren't much opportunities of bumping into her in the future. I am keeping my head up and moving on with my life...it's just that lingering emptiness that needs to go away.
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