Hold_On Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 After reading a lot of your stories I don't even know how to put my own breakup story into words. We were together for nearly 4 years and then it was over. Oh the confusion, the whys, the pros, the cons, the lonliness....it all adds up to pain. I think the lonliness is the worst. Sometimes, you just got to cry it out...feel sad, feel upset, be angry, wonder why, be distressed... And then, you need to pick yourself up and move on for awhile until you need to "fall" down again. Repeat until heart is healed. Hang with friends. Make new friends. Try a new hobby...I find that the hardest thing to do is to spend time alone because there are where the painful thoughts come. Keep busy. Remember that your life is not yet over. I'm writing this and I know I still have a lot more pain to come...so much pain from loosing him. Yet, I can see the silver lining in the dark clouds....
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 I really commend you for your optimism. I broke up with mine a couple of days ago and I'm a wreck. I can't even see the point where I'll be happy and over this, so I find your optimism to be very encouraging. Thanks for your advice on how to best cope.
Author Hold_On Posted September 3, 2007 Author Posted September 3, 2007 I really commend you for your optimism. I broke up with mine a couple of days ago and I'm a wreck. I can't even see the point where I'll be happy and over this, so I find your optimism to be very encouraging. Thanks for your advice on how to best cope. One moment I am optimistic and then at the end of the day I could be sobbing into my pillow, heartache breaking me apart. And then I don't even hold myself together. I just let myself heal through that. And then I pick myself up again afterwards and don't let myself live every day in that state of mind. You can do it too. There will be tear days, but it shouldn't be every day (even though you may feel saddness every day)...you need to get out there and do things. I'm still going through it.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 I really am trying. I did better during the day today than the last 2 days, but it's still tough at night when my mind starts to wander...I have been soaking my pillows as well. I am starting to see that I made the right decision though, and at certain times, I feel excited about the future, as if weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I was excited to feel this way, only to find I am still crying and sad at night. I guess it will be an emotional rollercoaster for awhile.
justice Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 After reading a lot of your stories I don't even know how to put my own breakup story into words. We were together for nearly 4 years and then it was over. Oh the confusion, the whys, the pros, the cons, the lonliness....it all adds up to pain. I think the lonliness is the worst. Sometimes, you just got to cry it out...feel sad, feel upset, be angry, wonder why, be distressed... And then, you need to pick yourself up and move on for awhile until you need to "fall" down again. Repeat until heart is healed. Hang with friends. Make new friends. Try a new hobby...I find that the hardest thing to do is to spend time alone because there are where the painful thoughts come. Keep busy. Remember that your life is not yet over. I'm writing this and I know I still have a lot more pain to come...so much pain from loosing him. Yet, I can see the silver lining in the dark clouds.... During the time when I split up with my now ex husband, I rearranged the furniture every day. It got to be an obsession but it sure helped me to work through all of the aggression and loneliness that I was feeling. LOL I had the house so many different ways that it was impossible to feel anything but tired.
Author Hold_On Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 I really am trying. I did better during the day today than the last 2 days, but it's still tough at night when my mind starts to wander...I have been soaking my pillows as well. I am starting to see that I made the right decision though, and at certain times, I feel excited about the future, as if weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I was excited to feel this way, only to find I am still crying and sad at night. I guess it will be an emotional rollercoaster for awhile. Yeah, it is going to be a rollar coaster. It still is with me. Tonight I was having sad feelings so I went out with a friend and we just had a drink and just talking and hanging out with her helped me put him out of my mind. Still, I can feel the sadness in the back of my head. Well, tears help heal. It just really sucks!
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I too went out with a great friend. She and I had a wonderful dinner and drinks, but the sadness was creeping in. I was able to keep it in the back of my mind only and not let it get to me. What's making it harder is that I am done with my graduate school and am returning to my hometown 300 miles away from my current location in 2 days, and after 4 years, leaving many friends behind, including the ex with whom I had to break things off with. But the move is godsend because my relationship with him was so painful and horrible. I stayed in the relationship much longer than I should have hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel. (The nature of the relationship is in the post entitled Hurting in CA under the Coping section). I know, it's painful!
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