Confused85 Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 I dont know if you all have read my other posts, but me and my boyfriend i guess people question him bc of the events that made us be exclusive...brief summary, my boyfriend was seeing this woman for years, they broke it off because they was really serious, and he got with me, and he was still begging and pleading her to be his friend, i would see things and they have a very deep relationship, all the while telling her he cant be with her because he is not a man, and that he would hurt her and that he cares about her too much to do that, and how he cant do what she requires of him and now he is with me! During this whole time I have never got what he meant by hurting her well now today, I overheard their conversation (i picked up the phone when he was talking to her) they were talking about them and what happenned and he was telling her how he is not the man for a monogamous relationship, and that he is not one to want to grow and nurture in a relationship, and she was like yeah she knows and hopes he gets himself together (they talk about everything from what ive seen, stuff he doesnt even share with me) and he was also telling her, how because he was not a monogomous person its not that he didnt want to be with her, he just COULDNT....what i dont get is why is he with me? What does that mean? He is monogamous with me, and we are growing, i thought we was going to get married, and he telling her she would be the type he would marry! what does this mean?
ftheunion Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 Heres a possible advice. I'm not even a novice though. If you be his little sweetheart, just hold him, or curl your arms agains your chest and lean into him, and kinda flatter him. Ask him what he would like to do on a weekend day. Go for a hike with him. You might mention that he would make a good husband (perhaps later on). Make him feel masculine. Ask him how much he likes you. Keyword, like. Don't talk about commitment to much. If you two adore each other, it will smooth things out. Just treat your time with him as precious, and tell him you want him to just be with you and hold you tender. Sounds maybe you two are kinda cynic, just seek enlightenment together. Seek romanticism. The grass and mountains here in Arizona are great for that kinda stuff. You could throw in the classic red plaid picnic blanket and straw basket. Or just lay there in the grass and enjoy the view, if you are so able.
Author Confused85 Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 I need some sound advice please!
ftheunion Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I apologize. I ain't a yankee, so maybe ask one of em.
Phoebe Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 If your boyfriend is telling this other woman that he couldn't be with her because he can't be monogamous then I'm sorry to say this but he probably isn't being monogamous with you. Why do you think that the two of you are going to get married? Have you talked about it seriously. Your boyfriend has issues and is obviously not over this other woman.
Author Confused85 Posted September 8, 2007 Author Posted September 8, 2007 If your boyfriend is telling this other woman that he couldn't be with her because he can't be monogamous then I'm sorry to say this but he probably isn't being monogamous with you. Why do you think that the two of you are going to get married? Have you talked about it seriously. Your boyfriend has issues and is obviously not over this other woman. Thats what i dont get and i guess this is hard for me, "he couldnt be with her because he cant be monogamoous" then why is he with me?! Why would he be my boyfriend, why would a man agree if he doesnt want to be ? No we havent talked about it seriously, but he says lil things that makes me think we have a future..him and that woman talk everyday still, she has years on me with him..
Phoebe Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 You need to decide what it is you want and then sit down and have a serious conversation with your boyfriend and discuss where this relationship is going. The little things that he says sometimes are not enough to assume that he's thinking long-term or marriage with you, especially if he's telling another women that he's not the monogamous type.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 You should have actually spoken to him instead of eavesdropping on his private conversation. That said, don't ask the internet. Speak to him.
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