I could use to love

[Jewklar]

Well i am in grade 11 and ive liked this girl for about 8 months now and i was wondering if someone could please help me. I've liked this girl a long time but she happens to be my best friend and i am also hers. We hang out lots and she knows I like her and ive talked to her about going out and she simply said said she doesnt want to ruin anything but that i am the guy she is looking for because she says that im the nicest person shes ever met and such things like that. She even said she wants to go out with me later down the road. Recently she told me when she was in kelowna she made out with a guy and i got absolutly crushed. I feel just like giving up but its so hard. What made it so much worse is that she IS my first true love and she knows that it crushed me but she doesnt know that i think of her as my first true love. I was wondering if there is anything i can do to make her like me now im running out of idea's. also is saying she doesnt want to ruin anything just an excuse to not going out and if anyone can help me with my over jeliousy because i get extremely over jelious...

[ftheunion]

Hi there. My one and only (soulmate according to one astrology book, but never been able to confirm this from another source) was one grade ahead of me. She dumped me before I got into highschool.

 

I was jealous and frustrated to the extreme. First realize you can't control the universe. She will do what she will do. But its like the butterfly effect.

 

If you are good to her (I'm sure your are) then the air molecules you move when you speak to her or compliment her, or when you hug her, atomically you are influencing the environment. Your actions, have an ever so slight effect on the physical world.

 

So you can choose to do what you like. I might suggest this. At the end of this year, tell her that you desire her and shes your first true love. Tell her you have been jealous and felt frustrated for a long time.

 

Do all this calmly and in a soft spoken. Tell her, and look into her eyes and say something like: I would rather lose you as a friend and have my heart broken and miss you forever, than never have you. That can be your ultimatum. Then just at lunch go off somewhere elso and be a loner, or go to a place of tranquility on campus. Not sayin don't talk to her, just kinda shy away a little. She'll try to pry out of you why you are doin this. Just softly tell her you don't like being a spectator, and you don't want to be involved with her life if she doesn't want you. Tell her your life is in vain if you stay her friend. Tell her you don't wanna feel this way anymore. It is stressfull and taxing on your body being tense like that. You could tell her that.

 

I suggest this because if you truly care about her more than yourself (that is what true love is, choosing to be truly other-centered) then you losing the friendship is a generous move, because you are offering you heart and you desire to treat her the best ever. It is generous, even if she doesn't realize.

 

Every minute I stayed in contact with my ex was in vain. It wont be in vain if you end it. I punched out her bf so I wouldn't go down a loser and unrespected. That was my ultimatum. But I don't regret it. They both laughed a my pain and thought I was kinda pathetic. I restored by reputation, even though she hated me after.

 

I think she will admire devotion to what you feel.

 

But its just me talkin. I moved out of state two months after highschool, because I had no reason to stay there. She didn't need me, and I didn't need to be here.

 

If she has another lover/ or is seeking other guys, then she doesn't NEED you. Sorry, I never got over that rejection and worthless feeling to her. It annihilated my heart. Just that one person will do it.

 

songs related to this: "Can't you see" by The Marsall Tucker Band

"Tear Away" by Drowning Pool

 

I just stress that the irony of all this is not worth continuing. You can make things progress this way, or regress, but at least you won't be stuck where you are at now.