Sleek Geek Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 This morning I was watching Saved by the Bell (brings back memories) and bursted out laughing when one of the characters broke up with a girl by telling her: "This could never work. You are caviar and I am a hotdog". I have gotten so many variations of the same line it's not even funny. Why do guys use that line with a girl? The last guy who pulled this one on me basically left because I had my life together and he didn't. The one before that told me 'he wasn't ready for a girl like me'. Ran into him the other day and he told me that I am still the most amazing girl he ever met. My first boyfriend would get jealous that everything always worked out for me while he always had to struggle through life. He still maintains I was too good for a guy like him, even now that he is happily in love with someone else. It just makes me wonder what's going on.
JackOfClubs Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 It's a weird defense mechanism where a guy with low confidence can still feel like he had the power to control the relationship. (a) Perceiving you to be the superior member of the couple, he'd rather break up with you before you broke up with him. (b) He doesn't want to end up competing with other guys who could steal you from him because he believes you would leave the minute you found somebody better. © A relationship is hard work and it's even harder when you feel inadequate to your partner. He'd rather go the easier route and be with someone easier to impress.
Trimmer Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 Well, most guys are wimps when it comes to talking about feelings, relationships, and especially feelings about relationships. Maybe it's just a guy's way of breaking up, and saying, in code "I just don't want to be with you, but I'm too much of a coward to really be honest about it, so I'll complement you and put myself down to distract you and avoid dealing with it in a straightforward way..." People have been lying about breakups forever: "It's not you, it's me," "You deserve someone better," "I would just hold you back..." etc... And OMG, I hated that show...
Author Sleek Geek Posted September 3, 2007 Author Posted September 3, 2007 Well, most guys are wimps when it comes to talking about feelings, relationships, and especially feelings about relationships. Maybe it's just a guy's way of breaking up, and saying, in code "I just don't want to be with you, but I'm too much of a coward to really be honest about it, so I'll complement you and put myself down to distract you and avoid dealing with it in a straightforward way..." People have been lying about breakups forever: "It's not you, it's me," "You deserve someone better," "I would just hold you back..." etc... And OMG, I hated that show... Yeah that's pretty much how I always perceived it. But then, why would I always end up getting a variation of the same theme? I don't know, I guess I posted this because I suddenly wonder whether or not there might be an ounce of truth to their excuses and whether or not it could help me in my future relationships. So thank you Jackogclubs for your perspective. It just leaves me wondering about what it means and what I could do about it. Thinking about this is making me see a pattern in my life. The only guy I was really ever serious about's biggest issue was that he felt he was never a priority in my life. We were together for 3 years and broke up because he said my career was my priority, not him. I was raised by parents who firmly believed it was important for me to learn to be independant and not have to rely on a man... So maybe I do make men feel, hmmm, ornamental. At the same time, I tend to think that when I meet someone who is as strong as me, things will work out great. Which makes me wonder. Are my expectations too high? Am I doing something wrong? If so, what is it? What can I change? Or should I change anything?
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