Oinuma Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 ...don't I have a right to question why he chooses to associate himself with certain people? Background story - been going out with my boyfriend for nearly a year now. Recently (two months ago or so) he started a new job. And he met a co-worker of his there, a guy named Brendon. Since the two of them work on the same shift, they hang out during breaks, and take their lunches together every day. Fine by me...except, from everything that my boyfriend has told me about this guy, he's an absolute scumbag. He's been going out with a girl since New Year's Eve, and cheats on her incessantly - and then brags about it. He'll talk to his girlfriend on the phone during a break at work, and then hang up with her and proceed to try and hit on female co-workers. He's started sleeping with another girl that both he and my boyfriend work with. Once, Brendon apparently (again, ALL of this came right from my boyfriend's mouth) came into work with hickies all over his neck, and was talking about how he'd gotten so drunk at a party the night before that he couldn't even recall getting them. To which my boyfriend asked, "Well, was your girlfriend at the party?" Of course, Brendon said she hadn't been. Knowing that his girlfriend was planning to meet up with Brendon later on for lunch that day, my boyfriend then asked, "Don't you think she'll question those hickies, then?" And the jerk said something like, "Well, what is she supposed to do about it?" He's even tried to get into another female co-workers pants, THROUGH my boyfriend. My boyfriend told me that one day, Brendon lied to a girl at their work and told her that my boyfriend had a thing for her. I guess he was trying to figure out whether or not she was already taken, but still. He knows that my boyfriend is in a relationship. And the girl was under the impression (and probably still is) that my boyfriend has a thing for her. Anyway...so, like I said, this guy is no real winner. Seems to have no morals, parties all the time, cheats on his girlfriend and sleeps around like there's no tomorrow...well, at first, my boyfriend didn't really like the guy. He would say things like, "He annoys me, so I seriously doubt I'll be hanging out with him outside of work anytime soon." But then last week, Brendon got free football tickets, and invited my boyfriend to go along. Of course, he went (hey, for free football tickets...I can understand dealing with the company for that, you know what I mean?) and I didn't really mind. However, tonight, somehow or another the topic of his lovely co-worker came up. I jokingly said something like, "I'm sure you had fun with him at the football game (sarcastically)." And my boyfriend shocked me by saying, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind hanging out with him every now and then." Maybe I'm over-reacting here, but...what? This is a guy with no moral code at all, who sleeps with any random female, cheats on his girlfriend left and right, uses my boyfriend to try and get other women, drinks and parties 24/7...and my boyfriend is suddenly wanting to hang out with him outside of work? Excuse me, but why? It bothered me; I'm still not sure exactly why. I made the mistake of opening up my big fat mouth and letting my boyfriend know that I was upset. He accused me of trying to dictate who his friends could be and who he could hang out with. No, I'm not. I'm not about to tell him what he can and can't do, but don't I have a right to question it? To question why my boyfriend is wanting to hang out with this loser? I guess it just makes me worry that my boyfriend might not see Brendon's constant cheating/sleeping around as not that big of a deal, you know? I'm not sure. Let me know if I'm just being silly?
cheesydippindoodle Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 I see where your coming from I was branded "easy" by my family years ago because i hung out with a friend who was but by no means was i. If you trust your boyfriend then try not to be like his mother telling him who to hang out with he's likely to rebel. Make yout feelings known to him but accept it as long as your relationship stays on track you should have nothing to worry about i'd say. Just because brendan acts like that doesn't mean your BF will or is he easily led are you scared brendan will coax & jeer him into doing what he does???
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