smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I was just wondering what would you do IF you got Pregnant by you're MM? 1. Get an abortion? 2. Arrange to adopt your baby? 3. Get a financial support from MM through court? 4. Continue the affair? 5. Leave the MM and be a single mom?
danis Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 That's a personal decision and everyone has different beliefs on abortion. Alot of different things to consider, how old are u, are u financially secure enough to raise a baby on your own, would you be able to give up your baby after carrying it for nine months? You have alot to think about. At this point in my life I could never give up or abort my baby so I would have the baby and would try to take on the responsibilty myself. After all your big enough to have sex without protection you should be big enough to handle the outcome. Unless of course you did it to try and trap the MM.
Author smoochygirl Posted September 2, 2007 Author Posted September 2, 2007 That's a personal decision and everyone has different beliefs on abortion. Alot of different things to consider, how old are u, are u financially secure enough to raise a baby on your own, would you be able to give up your baby after carrying it for nine months? You have alot to think about. At this point in my life I could never give up or abort my baby so I would have the baby and would try to take on the responsibilty myself. After all your big enough to have sex without protection you should be big enough to handle the outcome. Unless of course you did it to try and trap the MM. Yes every people have different beliefs in this situation, what sadden me was some people think that they should abort or have the baby adopted when they got pregnant by the MM.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 I would think that what an OW would actually do would probably be far different than what she thinks she would do. Its pretty easy to say what you would do hypothetically, and quite another to figure out what to do when it actually happens. Unfortunately, a lot of what an OW ends up doing depends on MM, and how he reacts to it and what he would prefer her to do.
JamesM Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 From reading your story, I do not think this is strictly hypothetical. I see that it is not you who is personally pregnant, but are you asking this because your mother had this happen to her twice? I think this question will get many answers. As a MM...who has no OW, if I were with a OW while married and she became pregnant, then I would ask her to keep the baby. Why? Two reasons. One, an affair does not necessitate an abortion. The child is not at fault for the affair, he or she is the result of the affair. And since the child did not have a choice in how he or she entered the world, I do not think it is fair not to give him or her a chance at life. Yes, it may make my affair remain secret, but I doubt that this would happen, so the child should get a chance at life IMO. Two, and this I am fairly confident is true. If I had an affair which resulted in a pregnancy, my wife would probably find out at some point. And if she found out that I was part of the abortion of a child and an affair, I think she would even be more upset. I know her heart is big enough that she would rather see that child live than die. She may divorce me, but she would never fault the child for my actions. Just my 2c.
Author smoochygirl Posted September 2, 2007 Author Posted September 2, 2007 From reading your story, I do not think this is strictly hypothetical. I see that it is not you who is personally pregnant, but are you asking this because your mother had this happen to her twice? I think this question will get many answers. As a MM...who has no OW, if I were with a OW while married and she became pregnant, then I would ask her to keep the baby. Why? Two reasons. One, an affair does not necessitate an abortion. The child is not at fault for the affair, he or she is the result of the affair. And since the child did not have a choice in how he or she entered the world, I do not think it is fair not to give him or her a chance at life. Yes, it may make my affair remain secret, but I doubt that this would happen, so the child should get a chance at life IMO. Two, and this I am fairly confident is true. If I had an affair which resulted in a pregnancy, my wife would probably find out at some point. And if she found out that I was part of the abortion of a child and an affair, I think she would even be more upset. I know her heart is big enough that she would rather see that child live than die. She may divorce me, but she would never fault the child for my actions. Just my 2c. Thanks for your very fair opinion. I can see already that you would do the right thing. what about the other MM. I was wondering if the MM find out that his OW is pregnant what would his reaction would be? I notice here that most MM even willing to spend money to abort the baby and some of them just disappear when they found out that their OW is pregnant.
Author smoochygirl Posted September 2, 2007 Author Posted September 2, 2007 Jamesm sorry i forgot to answer your first question. I ask this question because of my mom, i am wondering what she felt and she's thinking when she had me. I heard a rumors from family members that at first she's thinking of abortion but she also want to hold on something to my dad so thats why i am here.
JamesM Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 Jamesm sorry i forgot to answer your first question. I ask this question because of my mom, i am wondering what she felt and she's thinking when she had me. I heard a rumors from family members that at first she's thinking of abortion but she also want to hold on something to my dad so thats why i am here. What was your dad's reaction...do you know?
Author smoochygirl Posted September 2, 2007 Author Posted September 2, 2007 I honestly would prefer if my mom left my dad before and just be a single mother. I would prefer if i never met my dad and his family. It sound harsh but the pain and suffering to even know that i am his daughter by OW is like scar in my chest the rest of my life.
Author smoochygirl Posted September 2, 2007 Author Posted September 2, 2007 What was your dad's reaction...do you know? My dad is a good father to me. His wife kick him out of the house when she found out thats why he spend a little bit of his time to us, He also got two kids in his M. The same name they given us too. I heard my Dad disappear for awhile until he got kick out of the house.
RealityCheck Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 I was just wondering what would you do IF you got Pregnant by you're MM? 1. Get an abortion? 2. Arrange to adopt your baby? 3. Get a financial support from MM through court? 4. Continue the affair? 5. Leave the MM and be a single mom? ONE simple solution to 5 hard questions. PRECAUTION! No brainer!
Marielle Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 ONE simple solution to 5 hard questions. PRECAUTION! No brainer! Very helpful...specially considering who is the OP and what she went through, thanks RC.
Marielle Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 I was just wondering what would you do IF you got Pregnant by you're MM? 1. Get an abortion? 2. Arrange to adopt your baby? 3. Get a financial support from MM through court? 4. Continue the affair? 5. Leave the MM and be a single mom? I am pregnant by my exMM. He wants me to have the baby, and wants to support me. But I do not want him to be part of my life because after all I ve been through and all his lies, I prefer to be a single mother. My baby does not need a father like that. He will be a BAD example. He was manupulative, cheated on me already and emotionally abusive. Even if I was an OW, I am an extremely great person, and come from a great loving educated family who will help me with my situation. It s going to be tough but I will be the best mother I can. I hope that adds something to your questions
RealityCheck Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 Very helpful...specially considering who is the OP and what she went through, thanks RC. If you think for one moment I am going to feel guitly of something that happened to a child years ago THINK AGAIN!!! This is today I am speaking about! Now that I see you are in the same situation, you should direct your CARELESS SELFISH thought towards yourself!
RealityCheck Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 ONE simple solution to 5 hard questions. PRECAUTION! No brainer! I W I L L R E P E A T !!!! H E L L O !!!!!
lovernotafighter Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 well smoochy girl shouldn't be asking hard questions if theres a chance she will get a hurtful answer Marielle. should RC curb the truth because her mother f&cked her life up? I'm sorry smoochygrl but where something on your chest that you had zero control over like a scarlet A is pretty disturbing you should seek some counseling
Lizzie60 Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 I was just wondering what would you do IF you got Pregnant by you're MM? 1. Get an abortion? 2. Arrange to adopt your baby? 3. Get a financial support from MM through court? 4. Continue the affair? 5. Leave the MM and be a single mom? It all depends on the situation... If I was financially stable I would have the baby... If not, I would get an abortion. But I have a hard time with women getting pregnant in this day and age... why? with all the different birth controls out there... I really don't see why women get pregnant when they don't want to.... But this is an extremely personal question, and the only one that can take a decision is the mother.
RealityCheck Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 It all depends on the situation... If I was financially stable I would have the baby... If not, I would get an abortion. But I have a hard time with women getting pregnant in this day and age... why? with all the different birth controls out there... I really don't see why women get pregnant when they don't want to.... But this is an extremely personal question, and the only one that can take a decision is the mother. Lizzie.... There is no doubt that some love to hate you, however you are one that certainly knows who she is and does not try to defend what you do! There is much to be said about a person of this character. Good on you Woman!
Lizzie60 Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 Lizzie.... There is no doubt that some love to hate you, however you are one that certainly knows who she is and does not try to defend what you do! There is much to be said about a person of this character. Good on you Woman!
IWALH Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 It all depends on the situation... If I was financially stable I would have the baby... If not, I would get an abortion. But I have a hard time with women getting pregnant in this day and age... why? with all the different birth controls out there... I really don't see why women get pregnant when they don't want to.... But this is an extremely personal question, and the only one that can take a decision is the mother. In my situation, several months prior to the start of the "affair" between xMM and myself I had major gynecological surgery and afterwards my doctor told me that I was probably not going to be able to have children. So we were pretty lax on birth control because I just didn't think it was possible for me to have children, period. I guess the doctor was wrong, haha!
RealityCheck Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 Lizzie, puleeeease don't just leave a bunny to post, LNF is on board and she be all over you like a hobo on a hotdog....LMAOOOOOOOO SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING!......LOLLLLL
IWALH Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 I thought about all of my options in the beginning, but I knew I would not be able to do anything but have her. Like I just said in another comment, I was told I probably wouldn't be able to have children ever, so she was a miracle baby! At first I wanted NOTHING to do with xMM and I never tried to contact him. He, however, kept trying to contact me and eventually weaseled his way back into my life and heart. Now I am back to the mind-set of not wanting him to be a part of our lives again. I can't have that kind of person in my child's life and I wish I would have seen him for who he truly is a long time ago. But, you live and you learn. We live with my parents right now who support us very much while I am in school full-time to become a teacher. My life is headed in a great direction right now and I owe it all to my daughter.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 I was pregnant by MM and I had an abortion. It was a complete surprise that I was pregnant as I'm very careful and use contraception. I struggled with the decision I made, and MM wanted to continue the pregnancy. However, our situation was too difficult at the time. I worried for my safety, the problems of my baby and I simply couldn't do it to his children. I had an abortion. Hardest decision to make and I suffered plenty with the decision afterward, still do. The strange thing is, if it ever happened again (it wont, I've made sure of that) I would probably have made a different decision. But I'm also a carer for my mum, I work hard to support my family, I couldnt rely on MM to provide any childcare support or even acknowledge the child once it was born. It seemed the best at the time.
RealityCheck Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 I was pregnant by MM and I had an abortion. It was a complete surprise that I was pregnant as I'm very careful and use contraception. I struggled with the decision I made, and MM wanted to continue the pregnancy. However, our situation was too difficult at the time. I worried for my safety, the problems of my baby and I simply couldn't do it to his children. I had an abortion. Hardest decision to make and I suffered plenty with the decision afterward, still do. The strange thing is, if it ever happened again (it wont, I've made sure of that) I would probably have made a different decision. But I'm also a carer for my mum, I work hard to support my family, I couldnt rely on MM to provide any childcare support or even acknowledge the child once it was born. It seemed the best at the time. I am sure you suffered with your decision. I do not doubt that for a moment. Much peace and love.
IWALH Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 I thought about all of my options in the beginning, but I knew I would not be able to do anything but have her. Like I just said in another comment, I was told I probably wouldn't be able to have children ever, so she was a miracle baby! At first I wanted NOTHING to do with xMM and I never tried to contact him. He, however, kept trying to contact me and eventually weaseled his way back into my life and heart. Now I am back to the mind-set of not wanting him to be a part of our lives again. I can't have that kind of person in my child's life and I wish I would have seen him for who he truly is a long time ago. But, you live and you learn. We live with my parents right now who support us very much while I am in school full-time to become a teacher. My life is headed in a great direction right now and I owe it all to my daughter. I forgot to add that he did want me to have an abortion. So did his wife. And he said he would pay for it. That's probably the one thing I won't ever tell my daughter, though... that's just too much. I'm glad I didn't, though, because I wasn't headed down the best path in life back then and I have done a complete 180 since that time in my life and I am SO PROUD of who I have become since I became a mommy!! And even prouder since things are finally over forever between xMM and I!!!
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