The better half

[scaredinlove]

I just answer in another thread and I deciede to write my own thread with this knew thought.

Why I like being the other woman? It has it ups and downs like any relationship but here are my reasons....

By the way all OW are invited to post their reasons too.

 

 

I don't have to wash his clothes and clean after him

I don't have to deal with his moods

I get him clean, nice, fed and he is missing me so much that he gives me ALL the attention.

 

She can deal with the rest, I have been married and I am not looking forward to have to take care of another man.

 

I know he loves me the most, he cares for her ,but I am the one he calls 12 times a day.

He will call me first to ask for any decision , even decisions that concern both of them.

I am the one he longs for.

I am the one he is happy with.

He dosen't lie to me.

And I am stay for the long haul!!

 

I my have half man ,but I sure have the better half!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

At least we know where he is and what he is doing. His wife dosen't.

[smoochygirl]

I just answer in another thread and I deciede to write my own thread with this knew thought.

Why I like being the other woman? It has it ups and downs like any relationship but here are my reasons....

By the way all OW are invited to post their reasons too.

 

 

I don't have to wash his clothes and clean after him

I don't have to deal with his moods

I get him clean, nice, fed and he is missing me so much that he gives me ALL the attention.

 

She can deal with the rest, I have been married and I am not looking forward to have to take care of another man.

 

I know he loves me the most, he cares for her ,but I am the one he calls 12 times a day.

He will call me first to ask for any decision , even decisions that concern both of them.

I am the one he longs for.

I am the one he is happy with.

He dosen't lie to me.

And I am stay for the long haul!!

 

I my have half man ,but I sure have the better half!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

At least we know where he is and what he is doing. His wife dosen't.

 

He is not honest with his wife in his affair with you because he DON'T want to loose her, thats why they are still married and looks like will be married forever. Your MM has the best arrangement with you, He don't need to hear OW (you) pressuring him on leaving his family, like most OW, He doesn't need to deal with a lot of drama, he don't need to make a promise (lie) to you just to get what he wants. He got everything now all set up for his OWN benefits, A family, wife he come home to and make love to, kids, and you, his side dish.

[frannie]

He is not honest with his wife in his affair with you because he DON'T want to loose her, thats why they are still married and looks like will be married forever. Your MM has the best arrangement with you, He don't need to hear OW (you) pressuring him on leaving his family, like most OW, He doesn't need to deal with a lot of drama, he don't need to make a promise (lie) to you just to get what he wants. He got everything now all set up for his OWN benefits, A family, wife he come home to and make love to, kids, and you, his side dish.

 

I would have thought these were positive things. Especially the part about not having to listen to lies. Nothing like an honest relationship with no expectations to be smashed.

[CAT100]

This is not to disrespect anyone that is the OW knowing that their MM will never leave, because if they are fine with it & its their decision then all power to them. I am actually envious of any OW that is in control & her situation suits her. But anyway, for me there are no positives to being the OW, i hate it

[scaredinlove]

He is not honest with his wife in his affair with you because he DON'T want to loose her, thats why they are still married and looks like will be married forever. Your MM has the best arrangement with you, He don't need to hear OW (you) pressuring him on leaving his family, like most OW, He doesn't need to deal with a lot of drama, he don't need to make a promise (lie) to you just to get what he wants. He got everything now all set up for his OWN benefits, A family, wife he come home to and make love to, kids, and you, his side dish.

 

 

 

he dosen't make love to her,only if I give permission. Wich I do sometimes. I know it is thru because i heard it from her mouth that he refuses to have sex with her.

 

Like I said before he is jusy=t there for the money and because he thinks he cannot cope. She is not very strong. Again I heard that from him and from her too.

 

He never lied too me, we talked about him leaving and there was a time he said he would, but later we realised that would be a disaster for everybody.

 

I guess we are both lucky, I make no demands on him and he makes no demands on me. We are open and in love.

 

And we had a lot of drama and fights too. We have been toghter 5yrs going on 6yrs.

 

He tells me if she leaves him that is OK, but he dosen't want to do it because he will loose too much money. She also threatens him with all kinds of no sense. So while he is with me for free will ,he is trapped to her.

 

I am happy!!!!!

[smoochygirl]

cat to be an OW you should be prepared to the consequences all the time, scareinlove chooses this kind of arrangement to be an OW and not demand anything as long as she's happy, this is good for her because it is protecting her feelings. It is very hard to be an OW and be in a lot of pain. I think to really protect your feeling you should always open your door's in for other man maybe single man.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Humph, not sure I feel this positive about being an OW, SIL. I like the horrible half and the good half, for my bloody sins.

 

The one positive thing in my sitch about being an OW is that I have seen him at his very very worst, our R at its very very worst and it was somewhat a cleansing experience for him that stopped the lies. Like we had been at our very worst that we could get and still held on, so he could start telling the truth because he suddenly realised I was in it for the long haul too.

 

Some may scoff, but in a weird way, my R with him is now one of the most honest R's I've had

[smoochygirl]

he dosen't make love to her,only if I give permission. Wich I do sometimes. I know it is thru because i heard it from her mouth that he refuses to have sex with her.

 

Like I said before he is jusy=t there for the money and because he thinks he cannot cope. She is not very strong. Again I heard that from him and from her too.

 

He never lied too me, we talked about him leaving and there was a time he said he would, but later we realised that would be a disaster for everybody.

 

I guess we are both lucky, I make no demands on him and he makes no demands on me. We are open and in love.

 

And we had a lot of drama and fights too. We have been toghter 5yrs going on 6yrs.

 

He tells me if she leaves him that is OK, but he dosen't want to do it because he will loose too much money. She also threatens him with all kinds of no sense. So while he is with me for free will ,he is trapped to her.

 

I am happy!!!!!

His wife is just stupid for not leaving him, he sounded like he love her money, then he loves you, i guess your really not asking for advice please forgive me:) anyway as long as your happy with your arrangement then it is good for you, so far i don't hear you blaming it all to wife which is good. So far honestly this is the best arrangement for an OW i ever hear. this way they can protect their feelings because you are not expecting to much from him.

[CAT100]

cat to be an OW you should be prepared to the consequences all the time, scareinlove chooses this kind of arrangement to be an OW and not demand anything as long as she's happy, this is good for her because it is protecting her feelings. It is very hard to be an OW and be in a lot of pain. I think to really protect your feeling you should always open your door's in for other man maybe single man.

 

Absolutely. I totally agree that if she can take the situation as it is then she is in a strong position. I know of someone that is an OW but also dates & the MM isnt causing her any pain at all, she can end it whenever she wants & just chooses not to. She doesnt want him to leave, she doesnt want to be his main partner.

For me however, I totally love my MM & it tears me up inside knowing hes not mine. I am only still in this relationship because I believe he will leave. I do not want to date, it makes me feel ill just thinking of other men. I know I am not an ideal OW & Im not cut out for it at all. I dont judge other OW that are not like me, I think they are protecting themselves & have got it sorted.

I am in pain because I love him, I hate sharing, I really hate it. My heart is his & I stopped protecting myself the second I fell in love with him

[vanilla chai]

he dosen't make love to her,only if I give permission. Wich I do sometimes. I know it is thru because i heard it from her mouth that he refuses to have sex with her.

Do you really believe that? So what would you do if he decided to have sex with his wife without your permission? What a joke.

 

Like I said before he is jusy=t there for the money and because he thinks he cannot cope. She is not very strong. Again I heard that from him and from her too.

So my guess is the wife makes the money and he is to selfish to let this woman find a decent man.

 

He never lied too me, we talked about him leaving and there was a time he said he would, but later we realised that would be a disaster for everybody.

Oh please he is probably lying to you everyday,just like his wife.

 

I guess we are both lucky, I make no demands on him and he makes no demands on me. We are open and in love.

This guy has it made and definatly needs a reality check.

 

And we had a lot of drama and fights too. We have been toghter 5yrs going on 6yrs.

So how come he hasn't divorced yet if your the love of his life?

 

He tells me if she leaves him that is OK, but he dosen't want to do it because he will loose too much money. She also threatens him with all kinds of no sense. So while he is with me for free will ,he is trapped to her.

Please tell this man to get a backbone.

[bigblueeyes]

Absolutely. I totally agree that if she can take the situation as it is then she is in a strong position. I know of someone that is an OW but also dates & the MM isnt causing her any pain at all, she can end it whenever she wants & just chooses not to. She doesnt want him to leave, she doesnt want to be his main partner.

For me however, I totally love my MM & it tears me up inside knowing hes not mine. I am only still in this relationship because I believe he will leave. I do not want to date, it makes me feel ill just thinking of other men. I know I am not an ideal OW & Im not cut out for it at all. I dont judge other OW that are not like me, I think they are protecting themselves & have got it sorted.

I am in pain because I love him, I hate sharing, I really hate it. My heart is his & I stopped protecting myself the second I fell in love with him

 

You are not alone

[bigblueeyes]

cat to be an OW you should be prepared to the consequences all the time, scareinlove chooses this kind of arrangement to be an OW and not demand anything as long as she's happy, this is good for her because it is protecting her feelings. It is very hard to be an OW and be in a lot of pain. I think to really protect your feeling you should always open your door's in for other man maybe single man.

 

I think it is so fantastic to get advice from a happily married woman about how to be the OW. I am delighted that you share your experince

[smoochygirl]

I think it is so fantastic to get advice from a happily married woman about how to be the OW. I am delighted that you share your experince

 

Lol. well i give her advice from my mom's experience who is an OW of my dad and she is still an OW of another MM until now.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Lol. well i give her advice from my mom's experience who is an OW of my dad and she is still an OW of another MM until now.

 

Sorry Smoochygirl, your mother is an other woman to your father who is a married man and your mother is also having an affair with another married man?

 

Did I read that right?

[scaredinlove]

Hi Cat and all,

 

This is not a situation to everybody. I know you feel hurt, I felt like that in the past too.

 

You see I have kids, I have been married, I did a lot of things. I love MM and I had two make a choice. I first had too make sure that he loved me and belied or not I herad that not only from him but from his with and some other relative. He has told her and anyone who thated to hear.

 

She probably stays with him for money too. They both work but both would loose a lot in the divorce.

 

It ia a matter of choice. I found out I had only two leave him and be misarable or be with him and accept things are they are. As I know he loves me and as long and I am happy, then it is OK.

 

Some woman are not happy, I wasn;t for a while until I decided to really face the situation as it is. I asked myself can you do it? I found out I can.

 

Some married people don't get to see their pastners all the time either because of work or wherever reason. I can support myself and my kids.so I am fine!

[smoochygirl]

Sorry Smoochygirl, your mother is an other woman to your father who is a married man and your mother is also having an affair with another married man?

 

Did I read that right?

 

Sorry for not writing it correctly. My mom is an OW of my deceased Dad and now she is living with a MM for a long time. She's in a lot of pain and still don't know where this affair is going to end up one day.

[scaredinlove]

Sorry for not writing it correctly. My mom is an OW of my deceased Dad and now she is living with a MM for a long time. She's in a lot of pain and still don't know where this affair is going to end up one day.

 

Sorry smooch that your Mom is in pain, but she should not be there if she is suffereing.

 

Didi you say your dad was a MM ? I wonder how you feltr growing up.

[scaredinlove]

Humph, not sure I feel this positive about being an OW, SIL. I like the horrible half and the good half, for my bloody sins.

 

The one positive thing in my sitch about being an OW is that I have seen him at his very very worst, our R at its very very worst and it was somewhat a cleansing experience for him that stopped the lies. Like we had been at our very worst that we could get and still held on, so he could start telling the truth because he suddenly realised I was in it for the long haul too.

 

Some may scoff, but in a weird way, my R with him is now one of the most honest R's I've had

 

We went tru rough times after the D-day, and we made thru it. Now I just want to enjoy him and be happy.

[scaredinlove]

he dosen't make love to her,only if I give permission. Wich I do sometimes. I know it is thru because i heard it from her mouth that he refuses to have sex with her.

Do you really believe that? So what would you do if he decided to have sex with his wife without your permission? What a joke.

 

Like I said before he is jusy=t there for the money and because he thinks he cannot cope. She is not very strong. Again I heard that from him and from her too.

So my guess is the wife makes the money and he is to selfish to let this woman find a decent man.

 

He never lied too me, we talked about him leaving and there was a time he said he would, but later we realised that would be a disaster for everybody.

Oh please he is probably lying to you everyday,just like his wife.

 

I guess we are both lucky, I make no demands on him and he makes no demands on me. We are open and in love.

This guy has it made and definatly needs a reality check.

 

And we had a lot of drama and fights too. We have been toghter 5yrs going on 6yrs.

So how come he hasn't divorced yet if your the love of his life?

 

He tells me if she leaves him that is OK, but he dosen't want to do it because he will loose too much money. She also threatens him with all kinds of no sense. So while he is with me for free will ,he is trapped to her.

Please tell this man to get a backbone.

 

 

Vanilla I was married and still am. So for the first 4 yrs we were both married. I am separated now.

I know that a lot of he says is true because I herad it from her mouth. I am believe him too.

 

I don't want him to be bankrupt and guilty of leaving his marriage. If he is going to do it has to be his own decission not me putting pressure. People are free and they only do what they want.

 

I know he loves me, I know he never lies to me. He told her he loves me. She dosen't know for sure that the affair is going on still, but it is better that way.

 

Wht the future will bring no one knows;), but for now this arrangemnt is working.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

We went tru rough times after the D-day, and we made thru it. Now I just want to enjoy him and be happy.

 

I think you've got a good outlook SIL, enjoying him gets lost in the expectations sometimes, and sometimes posts like this remind me of why it is I hang on. I'm glad for your happiness

[smoochygirl]

Sorry smooch that your Mom is in pain, but she should not be there if she is suffereing.

 

Didi you say your dad was a MM ? I wonder how you feltr growing up.

 

Thanks scareinlove, yes my mom was Ow of my dad (mm), I wrote my whole story here on LS if you have time u can read it. It is unimaginable pain and suffering i go through growing up and dealing with my dad's family when i was young, I'm glad it is all over and i am far away from them now.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Sorry for not writing it correctly. My mom is an OW of my deceased Dad and now she is living with a MM for a long time. She's in a lot of pain and still don't know where this affair is going to end up one day.

 

Thanks for the clarification Smoochygirl. And you were born in the A? That must have been difficult for you, especially watching your mum in pain. Was your mum and dad in an affair whilst you were a child? Sorry for the T/J guys, I was just surprised by what Smoochygirl revealed

[smoochygirl]

Thanks for the clarification Smoochygirl. And you were born in the A? That must have been difficult for you, especially watching your mum in pain. Was your mum and dad in an affair whilst you were a child? Sorry for the T/J guys, I was just surprised by what Smoochygirl revealed

 

Yes i was born in the A, my mom and dad had me and my brother during their Affair. My mom is now in the relationship with another MM.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Yes i was born in the A, my mom and dad had me and my brother during their Affair. My mom is now in the relationship with another MM.

 

Thats an interesting position to have in the complications of an affair Smoochygirl and instead of threadjacking here, I would be interested in hearing your story and the perspective of a child borne of an affair in a seperate post, if you were willing.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Thanks scareinlove, yes my mom was Ow of my dad (mm), I wrote my whole story here on LS if you have time u can read it. It is unimaginable pain and suffering i go through growing up and dealing with my dad's family when i was young, I'm glad it is all over and i am far away from them now.

 

Oops sorry, missed this one - I'll look for that thread and have a read, I must have missed it. Sorry smoochylove.

 

T/J over SIL lol