zzxxx Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 If a guy who you've been on one date with and he got the impression from you that you weren't interested as time went by (therefore, hasn't called), and then you bump into him again and he says to you, "I would like to meet up with you sometime," but doesn't refer to a date, is he just stringing you along/being nice?
highsierra Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 If a guy doesn't call.....He's not interested.....but we can still be nice in passing
Lilysavage Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 but why say.. we must meet up.. that is what she is confused about..
Sleek Geek Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 What gave him the impression you weren't interested? What did you reply once he said the meet up comment? If it were me, and I was interested in meeting up, I likely would have suggested an activity. But don't listen to me. I find dating really complicated since the publication of Not-that-into-you.
uniqueone Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 If a guy who you've been on one date with and he got the impression from you that you weren't interested as time went by (therefore, hasn't called), and then you bump into him again and he says to you, "I would like to meet up with you sometime," but doesn't refer to a date, is he just stringing you along/being nice? You've led him to believe you weren't interested. And then, when he runs into you, you expect him to ask you out??? Do you think men LIKE rejection? By saying that he'd like to meet up again sometime, he's gaging your interest. This keeps him from being flat-out rejected right there on the street. Since you showed little interest in the past, this is where YOU have to pick it up some more if you're wanting anything to become of this. It means you have to say something encouraging, not just reply with "yeah". Do you or don't you want to go out with him? Do you expect him to keep pursuing after you've shown little interest? Some guys will (and the types of guys these are have their own special category, I've learned). Most guys won't.
fray718 Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Some guys will (and the types of guys these are have their own special category, I've learned). Most guys won't. What type of guys are these? And r they good or bad?
uniqueone Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 What type of guys are these? And r they good or bad? The types of guys who ignore the signs and keep going anyway......are the types of guys that I seem to end up with.....so I've done a little bit of studying up on it. I act disinterested...closed off. Most will leave me alone. Not the guy who has to have EVERY woman's attention. He can't stand that I don't show him interest....esp. when he's used to getting it. So this puts him in hot pursuit mode. Eventually he gets me to let me defenses down and I end up falling for him. This is where he changes completely and I get hurt. No....you do NOT want this type. They are poisen.
VirtualInsanity Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 "I would like to meet up with you sometime," Does anyone believe that statement anymore?
Lyssa Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 What kinda impression did you give on your first outing with him? Are you not interested then or what?
Izzy B Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 Don't blame yourself. If he was really interested, he would have called, that same night after the date, or the next day usually. Occasionally they will wait a few days but the ones who are really follow through with it guys won't play the games just because they read it on men.com or in Maxim magazine or whatever. You don't want a guy who plays those games, they aren't seriously as masculine, even though they believe they are. You're getting the wimps, and the "hipsters" still hung up on their exgirlfriend, etc. with that kind of behavior. The meeting up comment is him saying "I don't want to date you, I just want to hang out and have sex if possible, but I will never date you for real or get into a relationship with you, I will string you along and boost my ego for a while, but a relationship isn't happening, I'm just not that into you but you're good enough as a last resort when I have nothing else to do, no one better to hang out with, or I am horny and I will sleep with you, but never commit to a relationship or even a real date, just "meeting up."
Author zzxxx Posted September 2, 2007 Author Posted September 2, 2007 Wow... thanks for all your replies. It's great getting some interesting points of views from different minds. The thing with this guy is that he is very, very attractive, interesting, and he has great people skills. He is always the centre of attention, particularly with chicks. Chicks just adore him, and cannot take their eyes off of him. There was a time when I ran into him occasionally, and I'd see him with a different chick every time. That's when I started ignoring his presence (didn't want to kill his game or appear as though it affected me), and he also ignored my presence (obviously, since he didn't want to kill his game). There was also another time when I ran into him, and he approached me with a friend of his (he always approaches me with a friend - very strange), and made some small talk. I appeared as though I was very happy to see him (I am very good at making that appear genuine), made some quick small talk, then said I had to join my friends. After a while, I saw him talking to some ugly chick, and then later snogging her. I guess I don't see that a guy is actually poison, when I keep focusing on how gorgeous he is. Plus he doesn't really have anything going for him, apart from stunning looks. Another point: I'm in another country at the moment. That's why the, "I would like to meet up with you," loses its meaning. Here, the "meet" means meet up, hang out, a rendezvous, or a date. He said, "I would like to meet up with you," and then after a while, he said, "You're a friend of mine." I don't think I need to go into detail about anything else. I think if I need to question a guy, then he's probably pretty dodgy, and a waste of my time. Plus I'm young, and it's pretty likely I'll meet a much better guy for me in the future! But I really appreciate all of your replies. They've helped me come to a conclusion, they're great food for thought, and I'll be able to use your suggestions in my future decisions.
Krytellan Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 If a guy who you've been on one date with and he got the impression from you that you weren't interested as time went by (therefore, hasn't called), and then you bump into him again and he says to you, "I would like to meet up with you sometime," but doesn't refer to a date, is he just stringing you along/being nice? If he wasn't sure if you were interested, he's probably saying this to test the waters. It sounds like you gave him NOTHING to go on so he will NOT call. You can't expect a guy to know everything. It seems that he saw you and thought, 'what the heck, I'll see where she's at" and he said what he said. Did you give him any affirmative impression or were you waiting for him to read your mind?
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