iFinix Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Hey, I've been feeling down lately because I'm lonely and in search of a girlfriend. First you need to understand me. I'm a 19-year-old male virgin you might consider a 'nice guy' whose very shy around people in general but girls especially. I don't really get out much except to go to work. When I'm there, I'm usually working with a number of girls within my age range. I don't initiate conversatins, but somehow I've gained slight friendship with most of the girls working there. A lot of them have actually complimented me, but for some reason I always think of them as friendly remarks and nothing else. Let's say I am very attracted to one of these girls who I know has been interested in me at one point or another. I know she knows I'm interested in her. She knows I'm too shy to do anything, but she's one of those girls whose so attractive, she expects the guy to make all the moves. How could someone as shy as me, who never says the first "hello", possibly take it to the next level, which I'm not even sure would be at this point. A real conversation possibly? That just doesn't seem possible. Any suggestions for a shy guy looking for love appreciated.
Yosef Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Hey, I've been feeling down lately because I'm lonely and in search of a girlfriend. First you need to understand me. I'm a 19-year-old male virgin you might consider a 'nice guy' whose very shy around people in general but girls especially. I don't really get out much except to go to work. When I'm there, I'm usually working with a number of girls within my age range. I don't initiate conversatins, but somehow I've gained slight friendship with most of the girls working there. A lot of them have actually complimented me, but for some reason I always think of them as friendly remarks and nothing else. Let's say I am very attracted to one of these girls who I know has been interested in me at one point or another. I know she knows I'm interested in her. She knows I'm too shy to do anything, but she's one of those girls whose so attractive, she expects the guy to make all the moves. How could someone as shy as me, who never says the first "hello", possibly take it to the next level, which I'm not even sure would be at this point. A real conversation possibly? That just doesn't seem possible. Any suggestions for a shy guy looking for love appreciated. Me and you... we've got A LOT in common XD Alright. To begin, I'm 17, virgin, never dated, always been too shy to do anything with other people. I have a crush on a girl who I'm almost Positive that she has the same thing for me in return, but she expects me to make the first move because she's dated before and I haven't. No experience on my end. I don't know what do either. Just build up your confidence. It's the first step toward a successful relationship with anyone. Without confidence you're paralyzed. I've had to raise mine qutie a bit this summer, and it's helped significantly, I'll tell you. Once you're comfortable speaking to her, just converse. You don't need to ask her if she likes you, and you dont need to tell her that you like her, just talk and enjoy the time you have with her, and let the girl figure everything out. Don't jump into a relationship so easily. Become accustomed to being around her and saying "Hello" to her in your own little way, and that's all you need to do. Once you can say the first Hello, say the first sentence, and don't be afraid to say anything stupid. That will only make you incapable of talking when you should be comfortable doing so. Don't say anything that would be mean or disgraceful about yourself or her, though. I wish you the best of luck and wishes.
danis Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 If your too shy to talk to her, why not write her a little note and leave it on her desk. It doesn't have to reveal too much, just something like "would you like to go for lunch sometime? Girls love that kinda stuff. She'll have to reply either way and go from there. If she says no, don't get upset you can't win them all. The hardest part is asking and the fear of rejection. But really what do you have to loose?
ftheunion Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I kinda know how you feel like lonely and stuff. If you happen to be on break at the same time you could ask her. I think it is easier to ask her out after you had a conversation for a while. If you ask her to go to a movie sometime with you. If she knows you're shy then it will go better. I'm sure you're not too shy to ask a question. I think it will take you doing something to initiate. But if you tell her how you feel when you're not near a ton of people. Or you could tell her she looks nice that day. Good luck. I'm an 18 year old virgin and haven't had a girlfriend in a long time. I was shy in highschool and still keep to myself, so dunno if I know what I'm talkin about.
Kahuna670 Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Im in 9th grade and i recently got a hold of a junior. What you have to do is just be yourself. I know alot of people will say that. But some girls find shyness to be cut because they know you are human then. It may also be easier if you see here eating lunch by herself, to talk to her when it is just the 2 of you. Which would take the added pressure off you.
Yosef Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 It may also be easier if you see here eating lunch by herself, to talk to her when it is just the 2 of you. Which would take the added pressure off you. That only works for shy girls... no real girl eats alone unless they, 1) either desire to be alone or 2) are shy. Even shy people eat with their friends. And, if by chance you're a nerd/geek. Be yourself, it is good advice. If the girl dumps you because you are one, then she just wasn't the girl for you. This may not be totally on topic but it's just something to look out for.
JCD Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 iFinix, you mentioned that you are working with this girl. I'm sure she talks to her coworkers so maybe next time when they talk to each other, you could join them in their conversation. That way it's not you and her one on one but in a company which should be less stressful. Also, I want to warn you about shy girls. Usually they have dual personalities. They have the fake one where they appear to be nice and respectful. Their other side comes out once they get to know you and can trust you. In my case she turned into a complainer and I didn't like that at all. Every coworker said that she doesn't complain, well I had to chuckle inside because she complained to me about the littlest things. That was a major turn off. She was also a major drama queen but you wouldn't know it from her sweet exterior until you knew her for long time. So be careful. That's why I like outgoing girls that are not shy and who act in public same way they act at home.
Author iFinix Posted September 2, 2007 Author Posted September 2, 2007 Thanks for all of the advice so far everybody. I just want to clarify that she is not shy at all, she's very outgoing and beautiful. I am the shy one. I'm gonna make it a point to say the first hello the next time I see her. I'll also say her name after because I know people like to hear other people say their names, it's a friendly thing to do. ftheunion, that's a great idea to tell her she looks nice. i'll do that as well. I just hope I can follow through with it. it's one thing to say i'll do it, but when i'm actually in the situation it's difficult. we'll see... thanks again!
ftheunion Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 Thatta guy. go ahead and git-r-done. You'll be so glad you did it. We all know you got it in you. Giggidy giggidy giggidy (Quagmire--family guy). Alright then, take care
daZed&confUsed005 Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 hey man..i know exactly how you feel..i am 20 years old..just turned 20..i too am a virgin but i have no regrets because i rather have it be special then with some random chick..my used to have a problem with my confidence also but that was because i was over weight..so i hit the gym hard and now my confidence level is up in the skies..hahaha.. i good with conversing with girls but have a problem telling which one likes me in more than a friendly way..in conversing with them i found out that having a liittle sense of humor takes you a long way..so you can try to work on that..make corny jokes but with in limits..don't get too personal unless you know them fairly well and know they won't mind..hope this helped and if anyone has a solution of my little problem feel free to drop an advice
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