code five Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 His "STUFF" is more important than you? why not bring his stuff in your house/appartment? If you are that important to him he is going to do the right thing. He has been unhapy there & told me he not slept with her since before i met him I'm not going to say this is a definite - hell, I can't stand men who do this - I think its chicken**** (I'm a man and would NEVER do this). Look, it sounds to me as if you are being played and he is using you just for benefits. I'm sorry - just my gut reaction to what you have posted. Stuff? C'mon now. Material items are soooo easy to replace. RC is correct - you are choosing to be in this triangle - whatever the W does with her H is their business. I for one did not want to hear any details of any encouters between my MW and her H. It just opens up the emotional well and sends you straight down it. I'm not here to tell you you're right or wrong... We all have a choice and sometimes that choice can be a very, very hard one to make. Sometimes, we can't even see the choices very well - love, passion, fantasy, feelings... they all can get in the way of reasoning. You have to realize this though - you can't put a claim on him while he is still married. You can't. I'm sorry.
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Were not just talking about a few clothes here theres a boat a garage full off tools a room full off computer equiptment not to mention clothes n stuff which i don't have roonm for at my place So he is leaving his W and kids, but cannot leave his "STUFF", boat, garage and computer etc. This is greed.. Do you want to be with a greedy man? he not only cheat on his W but he is also very greedy, he doesn't care about how you feel as long as his "STUFF" won't get destroy.
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 o.k well thanks guys for your opion didn't really answer my question but maybe its an unanswerable question but i'll take your opinions on board all being well he's out in 2 weeks & i guess i should accept i'll not know for sure if he has slept with her while he was there (would be nice to know he didn't) but as you say she has the right to while their married & as far as she's concerned "happily" , she won't be getting that opportunity when he left!!!!!
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 but o.k what about this one - why do men go elsewhere for sex if they getting it at home? N if they getting it elsewhere (n i'm talking virtually every day) why have it at home are they really that greedy???
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 but o.k what about this one - why do men go elsewhere for sex if they getting it at home? N if they getting it elsewhere (n i'm talking virtually every day) why have it at home are they really that greedy??? Most MM (Not all) are greedy and selfish. Some of them are Married for awhile thats why they look for something new but most of the time in the Discovery day, when its time to face consequences they kick the OW or W in the curb. thats how greedy they are. Most of the time they blame their married and their W for failing the M. but how can you work the M when your giving half your time and attention to another women. Is your MM moving in with you after he move out? Are you planning on getting married?
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 What will it do to you if they did sleep together? That they have sex every other day? Why do you want to know? It will only make you feel s***tier than you already are, no?
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 To the OP here is one of the example of an OW who has been lie to by a MM.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119346/
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 Most MM (Not all) are greedy and selfish. Some of them are Married for awhile thats why they look for something new but most of the time in the Discovery day, when its time to face consequences they kick the OW or W in the curb. thats how greedy they are. Most of the time they blame their married and their W for failing the M. but how can you work the M when your giving half your time and attention to another women. Is your MM moving in with you after he move out? Are you planning on getting married? yes he's moving in he wants to get married next year but i want to see how it goes before we start planning anything like that. He said his current marriage was a mistake & he was forced into it by family would a guy really say that if he loved his wife......i've just been reading a similiar post thats old & so many thing ring true one being MM keeps you in limbo for as long as possble but he's on his last excuse now, his stuff can go soon as his parents move in 2 weeks. Up until the other day when she contacted me i didn't doubt he wasn't sleeping with her because of the way he reacts with me (don't need to go into gory detail!!!!) As i said before if i were in her shoes i would tel OW i was sleeping with him but she's a known liar & what she says doesn't fit in would you have sex in the middle of the afternoon when your child is around or in a tent early evening when your best mate is next door & not sleeping ????
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 To the OP here is one of the example of an OW who has been lie to by a MM.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119346/ yer thats what i just read!!!!
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 What will it do to you if they did sleep together? That they have sex every other day? Why do you want to know? It will only make you feel s***tier than you already are, no? it means he cheated on me would be over straight away He's said to me so many times "since i've been with you i don't even look at anyone else" which may seem neither here nor there but i know when he's bein sincere your all looking at this as just an affair but it's not (or so i thought) This is a guy who's marriage had gone wrong & fell in love (i was supposed to be a one night stand) with someone else (sorry but he can't feign that i know he loves me) now he's desperately trying to let his wife down gently but she simply wont accept it...i've heard her say i love you n he reply's right & put the phone down she text him it & never once has he said it back & yer i know for sure cos he has a call log which lists everything that cant be deleted individually
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 yes he's moving in he wants to get married next year but i want to see how it goes before we start planning anything like that. He said his current marriage was a mistake & he was forced into it by family would a guy really say that if he loved his wife......i've just been reading a similiar post thats old & so many thing ring true one being MM keeps you in limbo for as long as possble but he's on his last excuse now, his stuff can go soon as his parents move in 2 weeks. Up until the other day when she contacted me i didn't doubt he wasn't sleeping with her because of the way he reacts with me (don't need to go into gory detail!!!!) As i said before if i were in her shoes i would tel OW i was sleeping with him but she's a known liar & what she says doesn't fit in would you have sex in the middle of the afternoon when your child is around or in a tent early evening when your best mate is next door & not sleeping ???? You were asking if how to catch a liar, i don't know if you mean to catch your MM or His W. Ok believe him if that will make you sleep better tonight, just don't think about it so much. She will be EX wife soon so you shouldn't be insecure anymore. Just trust him.
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 You were asking if how to catch a liar, i don't know if you mean to catch your MM or His W. Ok believe him if that will make you sleep better tonight, just don't think about it so much. She will be EX wife soon so you shouldn't be insecure anymore. Just trust him. Although i know i should i didn't want to just beleive him & hope she was lying, suppose i was hoping some would say here ask her this.....if the answer is yes she's lying!!! Not gonna happen though is it??!!! Make me sleep better tonight - i'm in england love it's now 7.33 am & i've been on here since about 3 am!!!! No sleep here!!!!
whichwayisup Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 He has NO INTENTION of leaving her. If he really was thinking about it for real, he wouldn't have allow HIS WIFE to mortgage the house! Yes, it's that plain and simple. she's a known liar & what she says doesn't fit in would you have sex in the middle of the afternoon when your child is around or in a tent early evening when your best mate is next door & not sleeping ???? And he isn't a liar? He IS LYING TO HIS WIFE ABOUT YOU AND THE AFFAIR! So, yeah, he's LYING to you as well. If you believe all that comes out of his mouth, you're fooling yourself. why do men go elsewhere for sex if they getting it at home? Cuz they're selfish and can't stay faithful.
whichwayisup Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 it means he cheated on me would be over straight away He's said to me so many times "since i've been with you i don't even look at anyone else" which may seem neither here nor there but i know when he's bein sincere your all looking at this as just an affair but it's not (or so i thought) This is a guy who's marriage had gone wrong & fell in love (i was supposed to be a one night stand) with someone else (sorry but he can't feign that i know he loves me) now he's desperately trying to let his wife down gently but she simply wont accept it...i've heard her say i love you n he reply's right & put the phone down she text him it & never once has he said it back & yer i know for sure cos he has a call log which lists everything that cant be deleted individually You're gonna be upset and pissed at a MARRIED MAN, that you knowingly had sex with KNOWING he was married and had kids - IF you find out HE cheated on YOU? If he really was unhappy, why did they have children? Why did they stay married so long? I can't believe you are eating up this crap on a stick MM is serving you. DO you honestly think he's gonna tell his wife "I love you" infront of you?
frannie Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 yes, theres stuff of his at the house that she will destroy if he leaves, were waiting on his parents getting a bigger place so he can move it out as i haven't room for it all What's wrong with putting it in storage? But besides that, why can't he get a place of his own, and needs to rely on you or his parents..? To be honest, I don't think there's a real way you can tell which one of them is telling the truth, but I think you have bigger problems than whether or not he's having sex with her. He might well be having sex with her... people about to divorce do all sorts of strange things (like trying to make it work one last time), you know..? I'd forget that issue and don't even bother asking him again. Concentrate on whether he's actually making any moves to get out of that situation. I'd worry more about the fact that he can't organise his 'stuff' or stand on his own two feet than whether he's lying to you about the sex. And the fact his 'ex' is threatening to destroy his stuff if he leaves, and telling you about them having sex isn't great... means she's far from 'emotionally divorced' from him. You talk about her hanging onto him, but look. He's the same kind of person. You ask for a break from it all and he's on the phone begging you..? Do you really need this kind of drama/this kind of man in your life..?
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I hate to break this to you - but a man can have sex with a woman, even if he outright dislikes her. Sex for men isn't the same as it is with women. Women tend to attach all sorts of emotional stuff to the sex act. For men, it can be a simple matter of territory marking, or sex for the sake of sex because its available and feels better than masturbating. Its not the sex you need to be worrying about anyway - its the fact that he is handing you a load of horsesh*t excuses instead of taking the steps he needs to in order to divorce and move on.
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Something came across my mind - if he doesn't have the money to get his own place, doesn't that mean he has no money to get a divorce too? If that is so... don't you think you'll be waiting a long time??
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Although i know i should i didn't want to just beleive him & hope she was lying, suppose i was hoping some would say here ask her this.....if the answer is yes she's lying!!! Not gonna happen though is it??!!! Make me sleep better tonight - i'm in england love it's now 7.33 am & i've been on here since about 3 am!!!! No sleep here!!!! What kind of answer do you want? i don't get you, OK go talk to her and if you think that she's lying then she is. I think you have doubt on him which is not good. but anyway did you come here to get some advice or you want me to say what you just want to hear?
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