cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I starting dating my current partner very soon after his marriage broke down - although he is still living in the marital home for financial & other reasons, his ex found out about me and is claiming to still be sleeping with him (albeit in peculiar places or in the middle of the day when their teenaged daughter is up & about & when she rings to tell me its always an hour & a half ago that it happened) yet he swears blind he isn't. He's a rubbish liar but this statement can roll off his tongue like ice cream & he can look me in the eye whereas normally when he lies his eyes flicker giving him away. I do know he's trying to 'keep her sweet' in order to get what is his but something is just niggling away at me about it. Anybody got any ideas as to how i would find out who is telling the truth????
whichwayisup Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 You're the OW and you're upset that he has lied to you about having sex with his wife? And he lives with her because of $$ reasons and children? You wanna find out if he loves you enough? Break up with him and tell him to call you when the divorce papers are finalized. Sorry, but your MM (or as you call him, you're current partner) is lying to you and his wife. HE is having his cake and eating it too. Think about it, WHY would he tell you he's still having sex with his wife? What good would that do for him when it comes to having sex with you!
RealityCheck Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I starting dating my current partner very soon after his marriage broke down - although he is still living in the marital home for financial & other reasons, his ex found out about me and is claiming to still be sleeping with him (albeit in peculiar places or in the middle of the day when their teenaged daughter is up & about & when she rings to tell me its always an hour & a half ago that it happened) yet he swears blind he isn't. He's a rubbish liar but this statement can roll off his tongue like ice cream & he can look me in the eye whereas normally when he lies his eyes flicker giving him away. I do know he's trying to 'keep her sweet' in order to get what is his but something is just niggling away at me about it. Anybody got any ideas as to how i would find out who is telling the truth???? You know! I don't believe anyone has to tell you anything! If its validation you are looking for, I would say trust your instincts! You already stated something is niggling away at you! No one has better perception the inner voice!
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Wait, let me understand this.. You started dating him after his marriage broke down? He is still living with her for financial reasons? When you say broke down - what does that mean? Just not working out or are they divorced? They could probably still be sleeping together, who knows what happens behind closed door...
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 lyssa (apologies if i spelt that wrong) i've broke up with him countless times & said i'll wait for you come back when the divorce is sorted but he wont let me go he call & begs & hounds me til i cave in crying saying he loves me so much !!!! I think she is still trying to cling on beacause he's still around but i no he doesn't tell her he loves her they don't go out & do stuff together he's simply there beacuse of stuff he's got there that she will destroy if he walks out, basically he's waiting on his parents moving to a place that can accomadate it & get it all out before he can leave.
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 You're the OW and you're upset that he has lied to you about having sex with his wife? And he lives with her because of $$ reasons and children? You wanna find out if he loves you enough? Break up with him and tell him to call you when the divorce papers are finalized. Sorry, but your MM (or as you call him, you're current partner) is lying to you and his wife. HE is having his cake and eating it too. Think about it, WHY would he tell you he's still having sex with his wife? What good would that do for him when it comes to having sex with you! Those exact words have come out my mouth so many times i've even tried the 'just tell me the truth' if your sleeping with her tact cos i'm not bothered i accept it but he hasn't fell for it he swears blind & on every walking life thats close to him he hasn't been near her since before we got together. what i need is a trap for her something she wouldn't know if she wasn't sleeping with him that i can ask her jees i even thought this one up......ask her about his piercing on his bits (he hasn't got one like) wots she gonna say if she hasn't been there? but the theres the cahnd thats she had a sneaky peek while he's sleepin or in the shower argh don't men do ur head in?????
code five Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 ...but i no he doesn't tell her he loves her they don't go out & do stuff together As lyssa stated, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors... You may want to be strong for yourself as I am guessing this is sheer torture on your emotional state. Tell him, sorry - get your house in order then call me. Just a thought.
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 Wait, let me understand this.. You started dating him after his marriage broke down? He is still living with her for financial reasons? When you say broke down - what does that mean? Just not working out or are they divorced? They could probably still be sleeping together, who knows what happens behind closed door... I say broke down more on his part than hers admittidly shes the kind of person who could love the meanest man walking unconditionally He doesn't sleep in the bed with her i know that cos there daughter sleeps wiv them & i've also video called him in the middle of the night aside from the fact he can be at mine between 2 - 6 nights a week
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 As lyssa stated, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors... You may want to be strong for yourself as I am guessing this is sheer torture on your emotional state. Tell him, sorry - get your house in order then call me. Just a thought. cheers i didn't think i could possibly get so emotion about some one as i said i've told him sort ur crap out then come have me but he simply wont accept this
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I'm sorry but I don't quite get what some of the things you have written but from what I did get - he isn't sleeping in the same room with her and that he's with you 2 - 6 nights a week.... Why doesn't he just move in with you then?
danis Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 your being played, and if the wife says they are sleeping together than they are. Time for you to move on.
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 lyssa (apologies if i spelt that wrong) i've broke up with him countless times & said i'll wait for you come back when the divorce is sorted but he wont let me go he call & begs & hounds me til i cave in crying saying he loves me so much !!!! I think she is still trying to cling on beacause he's still around but i no he doesn't tell her he loves her they don't go out & do stuff together he's simply there beacuse of stuff he's got there that she will destroy if he walks out, basically he's waiting on his parents moving to a place that can accomadate it & get it all out before he can leave. Is he in the middle of divorce proceeding? Well if it is already known to his W about his affair it is gonna affect him a lot, specially if they have properties to split and kids for custody battle if he is interested in his kids. Just be strong, Just don't forget your instinct don't lie.
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 cheers i didn't think i could possibly get so emotion about some one as i said i've told him sort ur crap out then come have me but he simply wont accept this Too bad for him - tell him that! You won't have him until he settles it! It's not fair for you now, is it? He should have gotten everything sorted out - place to live etc....
whichwayisup Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 but he wont let me go he call & begs & hounds me til i cave in crying saying he loves me so much Why are you giving him so much power over you? Try your best to be strong! SO WHAT if he cries to you, tells you he loves you so much...HIS actions show you he is STILL with his wife. He's LIVING with, so you are the OW, NOT his partner. A partner shares everything, a life and is committed... He doesn't sleep in the bed with her i know that cos there daughter sleeps wiv them The 16 year old daughter sleeps in their bed, so that is why he doesn't sleep in the bed? Uhmm, and you believe this?
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 yes, theres stuff of his at the house that she will destroy if he leaves, were waiting on his parents getting a bigger place so he can move it out as i haven't room for it all
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 yes, theres stuff of his at the house that she will destroy if he leaves, were waiting on his parents getting a bigger place so he can move it out as i haven't room for it all Move his stuff into a storage for the time being
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Ok i read the whole thread, so the WIFE is mean, and is veryyyyy bad.. the worst person in the world. But that doesn't justify the affair. I hope he move in soon with you so the mean wife can move on in her life.
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 your being played, and if the wife says they are sleeping together than they are. Time for you to move on.[/qu Yer i know it sounds that way but thats exactly what i would say if i were her to put me off him...............Theres flaws in her stories she's a known liar & bull****er. What i need to do is ask her something she would only know if she was sleeping with him.....any ideas????
RealityCheck Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 your being played, and if the wife says they are sleeping together than they are. Time for you to move on.[/qu Yer i know it sounds that way but thats exactly what i would say if i were her to put me off him...............Theres flaws in her stories she's a known liar & bull****er. What i need to do is ask her something she would only know if she was sleeping with him.....any ideas???? Ask the W? Is that what I am hearing? Why? It's her H!!! She can sleep with him anytime she chooses! You don't have the right to ask the W if she is sleeping with her H you are the OW!
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 What i need to do is ask her something she would only know if she was sleeping with him.....any ideas???? WHY in the world would you want to do that?!?! See, I'm sorry but this kinda thing that gets to me. If you're the OW, just be that. Keep whatever it is between you and your MM between you both and just mind your own business. There is no need for you to know whatever that is happening behind closed doors! Like RC said - His W has the right to do whatever she wants with him. They are after all - still married.
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 your being played, and if the wife says they are sleeping together than they are. Time for you to move on.[/qu Yer i know it sounds that way but thats exactly what i would say if i were her to put me off him...............Theres flaws in her stories she's a known liar & bull****er. What i need to do is ask her something she would only know if she was sleeping with him.....any ideas???? Am i hearing this correctly? what about you're married man? what about him? his also a liar and bull*****er, you don't even trust him. Do you know her personally? or you just heard all this from your MM? You'll get a better advice if you show a little bit of compassion towards W and kids, i am not saying you shouldn't be with him, if your happy then good for you as long as he is getting a D. But calling a W this just make you sound awful.
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 WHY in the world would you want to do that?!?! See, I'm sorry but this kinda thing that gets to me. If you're the OW, just be that. Keep whatever it is between you and your MM between you both and just mind your own business. There is no need for you to know whatever that is happening behind closed doors! Like RC said - His W has the right to do whatever she wants with him. They are after all - still married. I am not the other woman he is trying to get out out the marriage while she is clinging onto it by her finger tips. He has been unhapy there & told me he not slept with her since before i met him but as many people do he stayed for the sake of the child n tried his best. Yes he has ties which keep him there ie his stuff she will destroy if he goes without taking it He may well be tellin the truth but because of the circumstances i suppose i was looking for reassurance that he is telling the truth, i strongly suspect she is lying as i would say the same in her situation
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I am not the other woman he is trying to get out out the marriage while she is clinging onto it by her finger tips. He has been unhapy there & told me he not slept with her since before i met him but as many people do he stayed for the sake of the child n tried his best. Yes he has ties which keep him there ie his stuff she will destroy if he goes without taking it He may well be tellin the truth but because of the circumstances i suppose i was looking for reassurance that he is telling the truth, i strongly suspect she is lying as i would say the same in her situation His "STUFF" is more important than you? why not bring his stuff in your house/appartment? If you are that important to him he is going to do the right thing.
Author cheesydippindoodle Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 His "STUFF" is more important than you? why not bring his stuff in your house/appartment? If you are that important to him he is going to do the right thing. Were not just talking about a few clothes here theres a boat a garage full off tools a room full off computer equiptment not to mention clothes n stuff which i don't have roonm for at my place
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 why not bring his stuff in your house/appartment? If you are that important to him he is going to do the right thing. According to OP, her place is not big enough
Recommended Posts