forbidden fruit Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Well it had been almost 4 months of NC. The minute my heart and mind were finally as one xmm comes around. I had finally got to the point I wasn't angry at him, but mad at myself for falling for someone like him. I happily could say I was done with LS because I felt like I had gotten all the advice I needed and the pain of seeing these threads opened up all the old wounds. Needless to say I am back. He knew the exact time down to the day when it was obvious I was moving on and didn't care what he did. He came over to ask me something about the kids and then said we need to talk. He said he wanted to get over me also during that time off, but it did not work and he still wants me in his life. He said he cares, loves me and wants to figure things out. We both agreed we were not leaving our marriages right now because of the kids and they are all so young. So we agreed upon friends. We went out with the kids yesterday and had a great time. He told me he would help me get through the hard part of seeing him with his W and not being able to be with him all the time. He said he would do everything I asked for. Well I asked him to follow through with what he said he would do. Not more then one day into it he has failed my test. He said he would call me today while has was at work and to no avail. So I left him a message saying this was not going to work. Once again I opened myself up again only to be let down. He sounded so convincing and maybe he just needed a ego boost. I am not sure , but I am guess i am back to Nc and protecting my heart again. The one he said he would never break.
Mino Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Be strong, You made it this far....... Good Luck!!
frannie Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Don't beat yourself up about it. Just use it as a lesson learnt and yes, get back into NC.
fidela666 Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 We all like to beleive that there is some truth to what they say. And so you follow your heart. I bet he is really happy thinking that in a blink of an eye he can have you back. Do not give him that satisfaction anymore. Just ignore him. That will hurt him more
Author forbidden fruit Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 We all like to beleive that there is some truth to what they say. And so you follow your heart. I bet he is really happy thinking that in a blink of an eye he can have you back. Do not give him that satisfaction anymore. Just ignore him. That will hurt him more Well the funny thing while I am ignoring him he is ignoring me which is great for me. However, since he never has done anything for me this is probably a manipulation tactic on his part. NC is going good, but i am not going to lie I have my weak moments when I think is NC necessary and am I blowing it out of proportion? Then I think what is the good in contacting him when I will be in the same place-miserable. There is strength in NC and that is knowing he cannot get to you. Would love some words of wisdom because NC is hard!!!!!!
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 Just stick with it FF. You can do this! Ride out the miserable moments and just know that each time you fight the urges to contact him, you'll become stronger. And, when those good moments come, you'll feel great! Now, what you need to do is stop thinking about him, analzying this and that, why he thinks that, or does this. IT just doesn't matter...The sooner you rid of those types of thought about him (GO NC in your mind) the easier this will be on you.
TogetherForever Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 FF, I don't know if the following would be considered words of wisdom but here goes: You are hurting now while in NC but, there will be an end to that hurt. If you stay with him, the hurt will never end. Hang in there!! ((((FF)))) TF
fidela666 Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 We all have those weak moments. It is almost like they know to wait for a couple of weeks and then try again to get you all wrapped up in beleiving that they really have feelings for you. They get satisfaction to when they know that with a phone call they can have you again. It sucks when you know you are thinking about him 24/7 and wanted to be with him. Yet he only thinks of you when he needs.............. Do not allow him anymore to use you. You know that you can do better. Do not feel sorry for him, he does not feel sorry for you. You live, you learn, and then you move on. You will find someone who will be just for you. With all you have been through you have more then enough tools to spot the next guy trying to play you. And if the next guy is trying to play you, you dump him before he dumps you. It is all about playing their game. Good website to go is askmen.com there you can read how they think and what they do to play you.
Author forbidden fruit Posted September 27, 2007 Author Posted September 27, 2007 No new contacts = No new hurts I know wwiu and Lb are ony tring to help. Your advice is what has helped me through NC. However, sometimes I need to feel what I am feeling and it doesn not mean I am going to break NC. I just need to get it out and do not need to hear forget it because it doesn't mean anything or ignore what I am feeling and don't think about him only your family. I am thinking of my family right now that is why I am in NC, but I still miss xmm maybe more how he made me feel and the friendship before the A we had. It is hard to lose someone even if they were not good for you and I was the one to end it. So sometimes I think did do the right thing and am I being too hard on him. Of course my answer is no. I think I am in a certain phase right now maybe denial, but whatever is I am not going to ignore it. I keep hearing his last words in my head. I love you,but I cannot have you. So maybe I am past anger,but still sad. Today is a tough day and yesterday was a easier day. NC is the way to go, but boy is it a bi*****.
PoshPrincess Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 FF, I feel for you so much reading this post. I have fallen off the 'NC wagon' more times than I care to remember. You must not beat yourself up about this! 4 months is great (my longest is only 2). All you have to do now is set yourself the target that this time you will do even better than 4 months!!!! That's what I am trying to do now. Get to more than 2 months and get through his birthday without contacting him. I have been very lucky in that my exMM has cut all contact with me. Although I contacted him at the end of August I heard nothing in response. The last time we had any mutual contact was back in June so I guess I should be grateful to him for something at least! Hang in there! Whether or not MM is playing games with you, you really don't need him in your life. As someone else said to you, the feelings you get with NC won't last forever. Lots of luck x
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