bfr1456 Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Hi All, I'm new to this forum. I have a question that I'm not certain really anyone can answer but I'm hopeful. I'm in a marriage that just really is "hard work". I've been married 15 years now and I have a 12 yr. old child with this gentleman. He's 8 yrs. younger than me. I'm just absolutely miserable in the marriage, I literally live on eggshells with my husband. I never know from one moment to another what sort of mood he may be in. He's a very negative person and basically when he doesn't get what he wants he swears and verbally abuses me. Our daughter has seen far to many fights between us. I'm American but live in Scotland has that's where my partner is from, been here since 1990 and our daughter was born here. I am now 50 yrs old and have some health issues-ie: Osteo [COLOR=#006600]Arthritis as well as Rheumatism. I need my knees replaced but my specialist wants me to wait as long as possible because the knees will need replacing every ten years or so and therefore the longer I can hold out the greater possibility I won't need to many other operations. My husband is suppose to be helping me around the house etc. as he doesn't work. But it's a joke, he stays up all night either talking on his Ham Radio or here on the computer and sleeps all day. We stopped sleeping together in the sexual sense would you believe 4 yrs ago now. I'm just to angry with him all the time to want to share myself with him. I've been married previous to this, the first time was for 19 yrs and produced 4 great kids, however when that marriage ended it was very bitter and my 4 children suffered terribly. I've sort of sounded out my 12 yr. old about the possibility of my husband and I seperating, I haven't said why I think she's clever enough to know why. But she simply breaks down everytime I bring it up saying she doesn't want me to seperate from her Dad. I've tried reassuring her that she will continue to see her Dad and I will make certain of that but she just simply won't address it. Recently I finally got up the nerve to say to my other half I want out, I did this when our daughter was spending the night at a friend's. My other half went nuts and proceeded to tell me I was "signing his death warrant". He told me he'd be dead in a year, and he hoped I could live with that. The thing is I believe he would do that. How do I get out, must I wait until my daughter is a bit older and better equipped to handle it, and what of the threats my other half is making re taking his own life and it would be my fault. I'm so lonely and so wanting to begin to live again. I'm very positive and never look at the negative except in regard to this situation, any thoughts would be so welcome.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#006600]Many thanks[/COLOR]
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 BFR, I'm sorry to read of your situation, its a nightmare living on eggshells, especially when you're having health problems. All of the stress from your marriage problems mustn't be aiding your recovery. Have you exhausted every avenue of improving your marriage with your H? Has he been checked by his doctor for depression? (The lack of work/lack of motivation/mood swings are all symptoms of this). Do you still love your H if he was to make some changes in his life?
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