shopaholik85 Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I am very confused with my guy situation! I met a really awesome guy when I was in school. He was hilarious and has an awesome personality. He was seriously, like Will Ferrel funny. He could make you laugh at anytime any place. Thats what originally atrracted me to him. Only problem is.. he's married. And also 18 years older than me. Fast forward 2 years later, we graduated from nursing school. We've been going out to bars, me him and another friend from school. Him and I always end up kissing . It hasnt really went much further. He is such good company to be around and he is honestly my dream guy. The bad thing is that he's married. Him and his wife have a really good relationship though and they don't mind when each other goes out and all that. They've been married for 10 years. Well he always tells me I'm hot and flirts with me soo much. When we were in school he would make jokes about hooking up with me and stuff. He has a gorgeous wife and kids so its a really tricky situation. I DO NOT want to be a homewrecker. But this guy is just amazing. We graduated in June and have been out to the bars about 5 times since then. Its usually every other week or so. I know I need to get out of this situation and run FAR the other way but its just so hard. I know that if he was single we would be together. We have such an intense attraction towards each other
Author shopaholik85 Posted August 31, 2007 Author Posted August 31, 2007 Also though, hes such a fun guy to be around. The life of the party you know... he always has everyone laughing. And hes good company which is why I like being around him. We have only ever kissed when we were drunk. But the first time we kissed I had all kinds of butterflies. And I still get them. And i dont know it was just really passionate and I really felt something strong. And I know he had to have felt it too. I don't pursue him. He pursues me. He sends me emails asking when teh next time my friend and I are going out because he wants to meet up and stuff. We went out a few days ago for my bday. And he sent me about 3 emails over the course of 2 days asking if we were going out and where we were going and to let him know the place and time and stuff. I think another reason why I like him is because he made me feel attractive again. As weird as that sounds. I had just gotten over this guy I dated for a few months over sumemr who ended up goign after one of my friends and ending things with me. I was just feeling really unloved and unattractive. But the married guy started hitting on me, teasing me, flirting me. We have a playful relationship. Maybe this is why I'm so into him> He made me feel hot again. And when we're out drinking he'll make little comments about being with me. For ex, he knows that I plan on moving to CA in a year. Well he was talking to the one bar owner and he says this is the cali girl (referring to me) and he said that I'm moving to Cali in a year, and he'll be moving with me because he'll probably be divored by then. And then I made a comment like, yah he's going to buy me a mansion on teh beach, and he'll live in a trailer park down the street and i'll let let him come visit every once in a while. And then he made another comment the other night after I told him I passed my nursing license test. I said I was writing my name with RN after it over and over again. Then he said *Mary Johns (My first name with his last name) RN? And I just laughed and said oh yah thats exasctly what I was writing. And then at the bar on my bday he was talking to these 2 guys who are mutual friends of him and his wife and he was talking about how he's going to move to CA with me in a year. And then we were talking about this one guy at school who's wife left him after 10 years. And Sam(code name) said I wish my wife would take my kids and leave. And then I said yah right you don't want that to happen, you'd be sad. And he said "No I do.. you dont even know." And he's always joking around, never serious. So I never know what to think about this comments. But the fact that he makes them around me makes me think somethings up. I dunno We were at the bar and it was my birthday so obviously I was pretty drunk. It was my 22nd birthday and I didn't get to really celebrate my 21st bday last year. So I was flirting with him A LOT. And there was 2 guys there who are him and his wife's mutual friends. And he told me a few times to "behave" becaus they know his wife. But then he would joke around with them and me about naked pics. (I would never do something like that, its a joke). I said I emailed him naked pics ... even tho i didn't. And he says he didn't get them. And then one of the guys says here take the pics on my cell phone and handed me his cell phone and I said no thanks. So the guy was flirting with me in front of his friends. And thats when he started talking bout the California thing. And we were talking aboaut the alcohol posters on the wall and I said we could have one on the draw bridge in front of my mansion he'll buy for me. Its a joke but still... And about 2 weeks ago I was out with him and my friend and we were drinking and then I get a text from this boy I like.. who is actually my age haha. He says he was coming to the bar so when he came I went over and talked to the new guy for a while before coming back to my friend and the married man. My friend told me that he said "See thats what she needs, she needs to find a good guy who will treat her right and is nice. Once we kick it up( i guess thats a term used by 30 year olds referring to sex), she'll see that I have nothign to offer her. I'm married and have kids. I'm an old man .. I don't have anything to offer anyone. And then I came back and we were all talking and drniking. Then we left the bar about 1 am. The married man left about 5 min befoer me and my friend and we figured we'd get out to the parking lot and he would be gone but nope. He was sitting in his passenger side of his vehicle looking at something. Its almost as if he WANTED to wait for me. My friend said she was suprised he was still there because he walked out way before we did. Then of course I went over to his truck and we were talking and we made out for about 5 min, then he walked me to my car and we made out again and then he had to go. I am talking to another guy on the side so at least I am not all that emotionally dependant on the married guy.
Author shopaholik85 Posted August 31, 2007 Author Posted August 31, 2007 Oh, I forgot to mention... after his 2 mutual friends left he was much more flirty and loosened up. He was flirting with me a lot more at that point.
whichwayisup Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 He has a gorgeous wife and kids so its a really tricky situation. I DO NOT want to be a homewrecker. Then respect his marriage, respect his wife and THINK of his children. But this guy is just amazing. So what? He is married, not up for grabs (even if he makes it seem like he is, YOU know he has a good thing going so don't be his partner in crime to help him mess it up), he has KIDS... Married people can have attractions to other people, just because one is married, doesn't make them dead...Though MOST married people don't act upon that attraction. Anyway, I hope you choose (and it IS a choice) to stay away from him. He isn't yours, even if you call him your dream guy... Please read some threads in this section and as well as in the infidelity section...Understand what pain you'll be inflicting not only on his wife, and kids, but yourself... Good luck.
whichwayisup Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 All you are to this guy is conquest. An ego feed...And, he makes YOU feel good, right? Stick to the other single guy you have in your life, don't bother with the MM. Be smart, RESPECT yourself and tell him to focus on his wife.
RealityCheck Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 All you are to this guy is conquest. An ego feed.... Nice WWIU! Well said! I could not agree with you more. The poster has admitted to this MM having a gorgeous wife! He is definately feeding his "EGO". Enough said!
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Hello while reading your story i felt like i am reading my own story the only difference is my Man is not Married and he is now my Husband. My husband is also very funny, handsome, tall, and very charming and were 12 years apart. I hope that you don't pursue this kind of relationship because no matter how funny and how loving he is to you, he is married. This will only cause you pain and suffering, also to his kids and wife. Do you want to be with a man who can't give himself to you full time?
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Hello while reading your story i felt like i am reading my own story the only difference is my Man is not Married and he is now my Husband. My husband is also very funny, handsome, tall, and very charming and were 12 years apart. I hope that you don't pursue this kind of relationship because no matter how funny and how loving he is to you, he is married. This will only cause you pain and suffering, also to his kids and wife. Do you want to be with a man who can't give himself to you full time? I got confuse with my own grammar, sorry:laugh: My man is not married to another but to me. If my grammar is wrong please kindly correct me.
frannie Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Hmm. For a 40-year old he sounds very immature. Hanging around bars and kissing young women and 'making out' in his truck... bragging to the barman about running away with you to California..?? You're not going to be a homewrecker because he's not going to leave his marriage (as you said, it's 'fine' and she lets him behave like a big kid), and even if he did leave he'd never grow up. He looks like your 'dream guy' now... but for how long would goofing around and dreaming of California keep you happy..?
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