is he blowing me off?

[31swf]

So I had a first date last night. Internet date actually. We decided to meet and have a few drinks after chatting for a couple weeks.

 

We meet and have a really good time. Talking and laughing for over two hours, til he finally had to go home and check on his dog. He was supposed to meet a friend and go to the gym, but he stayed longer (I hope because we were having a fun time).

 

It wasn't awkward at all, just a few tiny pauses when the conversation drew to a close. And he asked me a couple times what I was thinking?? what's that about??

We both hedged at doing something again, said things like -

"What's your week look like?" and "What are you up to this weekend?" He said he might be going out of town this weekend but he wasn't sure yet. I told him I didn't have any set plans yet.

 

he walked me to my car, gave me a good hug and a kiss on the cheek. Is that a good sign or does it mean nothing?? He said he'd email me, and waited til I got in my car and pulled out.

 

I have a really good feeling about things, but any advice would be great!

 

 

On Tuesday evening I get an email from the guy I went out with Monday night. He said he enjoyed talking to me and suggested we do something again.

 

I got back to him around noon on Wednesday saying I enjoyed talking to him too and getting together again was a great idea.

 

But I haven't heard back from him yet. Is he blowing me off??

 

Why would he tell me he had a good time and want to go out again, and them blow me off??

[Leikela]

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I think you're over-reacting just a little bit. Maybe he hasn't checked his e-mail yet, or something else came up? The fact that he initially wrote to you is a good sign. He wouldn't write something like that if he had planned to blow you off. I would give it some more time. If you don't hear from him all weekend, then YES, he is blowing you off but I have a feeling you'll hear from him.

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[Tony T]

1. "he walked me to my car, gave me a good hug and a kiss on the cheek. Is that a good sign or does it mean nothing??"

 

It just means he's polite and it is less awkward to give you a hug than to just wave goodbye.

 

2. "I have a really good feeling about things, but any advice would be great!"

 

My advice is to feel good as often as you can.

 

3. "But I haven't heard back from him yet. Is he blowing me off??"

 

No, he just hasn't gotten back with you yet.

 

4. "Why would he tell me he had a good time and want to go out again, and then blow me off??"

 

I SAID he hasn't blown you off!!! You'll have a lot more success with men if you stop trying to analyze every little thing they do and stop timing their actions with a stop watch.

[Baubles]

just don't overthink it- maybe he is or more likely he isn't- only time will tell.

 

one caveat- I had a number of internet dates in the past and some of my guy friends engage in it- often, the men are "shopping"- that is they have multiple dates lined up in the week-. I had found this out w/ someone I had been out w/ 2x and it terribly upset me. just keep it light and simple and see what happens- if he starts seeing you on fri and sat every week and not only during the week- good chance he's singled you out.

 

again, the trick is just patience- I didn't have it and regret it- but take it slowly when he calls and don't rush anything.

[31swf]

Update

well, he finally emailed me back on Sunday night. He apologized for taking so long to get back to me, and wants to do something on Wednesday evening.

 

So I'm happy about that, but I kinda feel like he's playing games with me, and that I should make him wait now. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and get back with him tonight. I guess I just need to learn to be more patient.

 

Should I give him my phone #, or wait til he asks??

 

Thanks for the advice.

[Baubles]

Glad to hear all is well. Give him your number when he asks- don't play games, I've dated many men who find that a huge turn-off- if he calls, return his call that day. If he doesn't show enough interest after a month, then you might decide otherwise- but for now, I'd just be patient.

[Ladybug313]

Hello 31swf.

I agree with Baubles. Give him your number when he asks but don't do the waiting thing.

For now, don't worry if you think he is playing games. I think you'll catch on to it if he is as more time passes. You'll feel it instinctively...good luck!

[Dragonflys]

You say on the one hand you felt good about the date, and yet now you feel he is playing you even though you haven't seen him since.

You feel he is blowing you off, yet he called you twice since the date last week AND set up a date on Wednesday.

He has acted like nothing but a gentleman so far, not too pushy, and he communicates well in my opinion.

He said he may be going away for the weekend, he probably did, and spent the time since Wednesday preparing and then probably left Friday.

 

You have no evidence of anything wrong here. Let things happen!...be patient. Show him you have a life just like he appears to have. At all costs do not give away some of the things you have said in your post, just enjoy the time with him. If he's right for you it will work out. It sounds like there is good communication between you so far.

 

Give it a chance!

 

Oliver

[31swf]

Here's a brief update on my situation. We went out a second time last wed evening and really seem to click. Chatted for close to 4 hours. We really seem to have a lot in common. Kissed for the first time for a couple minutes when he walked me to my car.

 

Then he called me on Sat to come over later and see the puppy he's dogsitting for a week. So I went over around 7. He showed me around his place, showed me some skiing & kayaking video clips we had talked about last time, and then we were just chatting and playing with the puppy.

 

A friend of his came from out of town, and they wanted me to go have a few beers with them, but I thought it'd be best if I left and didn't horn in on their plans. But they wanted me to stay, so at least I left him wanting more. I told him I had plans to do something with my sister (partially true) so he wouldn't think I didn't have a life on a Saturday night. He walked me out and gave me a quick kiss on the lips and said he'd call.

 

But now I haven't heard from him since.

I don't want him to think I'm not interested, because I am. Should I stop playing hard to get and let him know I'm interested?? So far he's done all the asking and calling first. Or should I just wait it out?

[clia]

You've gone out with him three times, kissed him, and spent four hours talking to him. If he doesn't understand that you like him by now, he is very dense.

 

It's only been a few days, so chill! Wait for him to call you. I don't necessarily think you are playing hard to get--you did go over to his house, you saw him twice last week. I think it's safer to let him lead. Just relax! Remember the last time you got stressed because he didn't call? Well then what happened? He did! I think he likes you...so just relax...