aljo1 Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Hello, everyone. I´m feeling very resentful and feel all of these regrets because I was the one who broke up with my girlfriend 8 months ago. Maybe, since I´m still communicating with her and told her that I wanted her back..and feeling all the rejections she´s giving me..that making me feel the grief again. I´m feeling down, I feel as if I failed myself for letting the love of my life go. The reason why I dumped her was because she kept communicating with her ex, and her ex told her that his two sons became orfans and there was no one to take care of them but her. The mother of these children whom he had an affair with got killed, and either on the children´s mother side or on his side, anybody else could take care of these children..but why my girlfriend? I don´t know if I did wrong or not, after all she loved me so much and I let her go..when I could have stay there and fight. But at the same time all the considerations she had for her ex, and all the comparisons she made of me with ex..it seems like she never let him go completely. For a while, I tried to look for someone else, but I know in my heart that for right now I still miss her..and I´m looking at my mistakes and feeling regretful. Do you guys think I did right breaking up this relationship? I had so many good memories of her, it´s hard to let them go. Maybe because she´s been the first love of my life(at 32 years old)..we shared 7 months and a half together with so much love and passion. What do you guys think of my situation or this relationship? Thanks for the advices!
curiousnycgirl Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Your post is very difficult to read for two reasons. Firstly breaking up posts into paragraphs makes it easier to follow - secondly your sentences are incomplete. If I understand correctly you broke up with your g/f because she was still communicating with her ex. Or did you break up with her because she had agreed to take care of her ex's kids? It is very unclear. You say he said she is the only one who can care for them, but you never say if she agreed. If you broke up because she was just communicating - then clearly you did not trust her. Why not? Had she given you any reason? You say she compared you to her ex - how so? What makes you think she never got over him? You say you "let her go" does that mean she wanted to go, or did you simply tell her it was over and not to contact you? You see it's very hard to comment without more complete information
Jinnah Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 If cheating wasn't an issue (fear of it/ lack of trust) and you love her enough to deal with the issues from her past, tell her that and get her back. If you ended it because you felt she still had feelings for her ex, I would listen to your instincts... those are usually right.
Izzy B Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 If a guy I was in a relationship with ket comparing me with their ex, I wouldn't be there for long. You did the right thing. Exes shouldn't be in the picture.
Reactor Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Lets put it this way. My ex constantly compared out relationship to her previous ones. Needless to say, we didn't last too long. A new relationship is like a new chapter in a book, you don't ever look back and everything you get from it should be treated as 'new' and not compared to the old! You did the right thing!
Author aljo1 Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 I´m sorry if I wasn´t too specific. Ok, here´s the point..she kept communication with her ex husband..and she accepted right away the offer of taking care of his two children, without consulting me. When she did, she told me that she was going to do it anyways and nothing nor nobody would stop her. After two days of not comunicating with her, I told her that I couldn´t continue in the relationship because of that issue--of course I should have fought for her at that time..I should have continue..but I gave up completely. I told her that we could just be friends. Now, she´s saying is too late to go back with the relationship we had, that she can´t do it anymore, she doesn´t have the time, and that I don´t want to be in a relationship with all these responsabilities. For this reason I know that it´s really over, and I can´t be insisting on continuing the same relationship. I got to give her space and maybe even stop calling her for a while, It´s doing me no good. Thank you guys for reading and giving me advices!!
Recommended Posts