outofdarkness Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Hey Ya'll! I thought I posted this new thread a couple of days ago, then went down for the count w/ back problems and am just now checking..So, sorry if this is a repeat, but I did NOT see where it ever posted..Here goes...Are there any BW's that have had "bunny boiler" experiences and care to share them? I have a potential one on my hands and would love to know the signs, etc. All replies are welcome as long as they're reasonably kept on topic and RESPECTFUL!! Thanks in advance for reading this thread and replying! ood:eek:
whichwayisup Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I wish Romeomustdie would post again. Her situation was as close as you could get to the bunny boiler.
whichwayisup Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I have a potential one on my hands and would love to know the signs, etc. All replies are welcome as long as they're reasonably kept on topic and RESPECTFUL!! IF you are being harrassed, followed, feel threatened, your gut is screaming to you, then chances are, you're being 'stalked' or something by the OW. Just keep safe and when you're out, be aware, pay attention - Better safe than sorry...Oh and don't hestitate to call 911 if it ever comes to that!
silktricks Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 She would drive up and down our road, if I was outside she'd stop and stare at me until I would start walking toward the car, then she'd take off like she was being chased. We got "anonymous" phone calls (sometimes up to 12 a day) for over a year. Until we finally gave up and changed the number and have been exceedingly private with it ever since. I check on the internet every once in awhile, just to make sure that Intellius hasn't managed to pick it up. She called my cell phone then when I'd answer would either hang-up or ask for my husband. (Our provider had his number and mine backwards, so my number was listed as his and his number was listed as mine---that's the only place it was backwards, so obviously she had an "in" with our provider who gave her "his" number.) She continued to e-mail my husband (on his business account, which is the one they had communicated on) until he had to close that account and open a different one. She egged my car (twice). She almost hit me in the grocery store parking lot. (would have if my husband hadn't jerked me out of the way). We got a house alarm and made sure that it was always set. She lives in a different state, though, and most of the time I wasn't really worried. I knew where she worked and could pretty much know when she was and wasn't working. It's been more than a year now since there's been any sign of her, though, so I think she must finally have faced the fact that it's OVER.
Author outofdarkness Posted September 1, 2007 Author Posted September 1, 2007 She would drive up and down our road, if I was outside she'd stop and stare at me until I would start walking toward the car, then she'd take off like she was being chased. We got "anonymous" phone calls (sometimes up to 12 a day) for over a year. Until we finally gave up and changed the number and have been exceedingly private with it ever since. I check on the internet every once in awhile, just to make sure that Intellius hasn't managed to pick it up. She called my cell phone then when I'd answer would either hang-up or ask for my husband. (Our provider had his number and mine backwards, so my number was listed as his and his number was listed as mine---that's the only place it was backwards, so obviously she had an "in" with our provider who gave her "his" number.) She continued to e-mail my husband (on his business account, which is the one they had communicated on) until he had to close that account and open a different one. She egged my car (twice). She almost hit me in the grocery store parking lot. (would have if my husband hadn't jerked me out of the way). We got a house alarm and made sure that it was always set. She lives in a different state, though, and most of the time I wasn't really worried. I knew where she worked and could pretty much know when she was and wasn't working. It's been more than a year now since there's been any sign of her, though, so I think she must finally have faced the fact that it's OVER. hmmmm..interesting...could you tell me how much of a pain it was for your H to change his business number? Mine has been hesitant to change his...I wondered why until I found out that she had been calling him at work only and using yahoo im to im his outlook; you can also check outlook address w/ yahoo im...As far as the driving by, yes, I've had this once...Have also had the hang ups..The MOST disturbing thing so far has been that I found a phone/decoder device on our attic stairs..It looks like something the phone Co. or alarm Co. would use w/ two wires w/ what look like spark plugs coming from them...I called our alarm co;as they had made a service call around a month or so ago, but the tech reported that he was NOT missing anything, and I described this to the tee...I am worried that it is something that can be bought on the net or stolen...Also, several times, I have noticed that the attic door where our alarm central box is located, has been open w/ the light on....One time can be explained, as our daughter had gone up and forgotten to close the door and turn out the light...BUT, that does not explain the other times, most disturbingly when I found some tools knocked over in addition to a stool next to the side door that leads out of the garage...I felt as if someone had just run out...I am worried that someone has the alarm code now, so I have contacted the co. to change it once again and will have the locks changed again as well... My H has JUST within the past two weeks, started to attend up to three s/a mtgs per day..and admitted to me that he had mast...after I found a one week chip in our room..I am aware enough now to know that there is much more to it then that, but do not know how to find out the truth short of hiring a PI, which I cannot afford now at all...The OW that I am scared of received an email from my H stating not to contact him anymore by phone, text, sms, snail mail, etc., any longer, that he knew she would be angry about it, but that is the way it had to be...This was after she had interrupted the meeting we were in re: our son and his tutoring...I think I mentioned this in a previous thread...So, I am almost certain that they had been communicating somehow...I did converse w/ his 10 year OW, who is now engaged and lives far away, and she does im/email this other OW every now and then....NOT by choice, the OW harasses her as well..She told me to steer clear of her that she is nuts and her behavior is crazy and that there is no telling what my H told her when he was at the height of his addiction...She ought to know!!! I did ask her to PLEASE tell me if she had indeed moved to our city, as she said she was going to according to an email that my H printed out for me...She has not answered me on that one...So, my gut tells me that she is here, and the 10 yr. OW doesn't want to freak me out anymore then I already am...Keep in mind that my H STILL insists that he never even met this crazy OW and does not even know her last name...I have seen her pic on several sites, and they are all consistent...My H tells me that for years, she sent him pictures, and they were never the same...I think this is a lie??? LOL... I also found out that this crazy OW had somehow linked my aol screenname w/ her's...Her screen always popped up as available whenever I signed in...A major clue! I would love some advice on how/if to handle this! I have been told by a good friend not to contact her in any way, as this would just fuel the fire, and these OW's feed on attention....What is YOUR op on this? I'd be interested in knowing...I want to also add that my H is very defensive and guarded about his work comp and v mail...If I ask to ck, he gets angry and defensive..I know, I know...BIG red flag! Why will she not leave him alone? Do you all think he JUST now told her NC? I have only spoken to her twice and both times she was rude, disrespectful and well...just plain mean to me...I realize that my H told her a BUNCH of lies about me and that she cannot believe now that he was just saying those things to keep her on his puppet string, but what IS going on? Is he STILL playing games w/ her AND me??? I guess my answer is in his own behavior the past couple of weeks...Going to three mtgs per day, etc....I am sooo distraught...I let him take our daughter and a friend to camp this past summer...Now he tells me he relapsed b/c he was mast??? What else was he doing?? She used to take a shower in our bathroom every morning, but since camp, she has only gone in her bathroom..Also, the friend that visited from another state, will not speak to her anymore and hasn't since they arrived at camp...Am I letting my imagination run away w/ me??? It's tough...I WANT to believe him, but know that I shouldn't...and alot of it is my guilt knowing his addiction and letting him spend time alone w/ the kids...I try to be w/ them every minute and have not left home alone in over a year b/c of this..Now, the one time that I try to trust him b/c I had to stay home w/ our son so that he could finish tutoring and go on the his next grade due to his illness, something may have happened w/ our daughter or her friend??? Mabey I should be posting this under addictions..Please feel free to transfer it LS if need be..I didn't realize until I started typing, what had really gone on...Thanks for the replies...ood
silktricks Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 OOD, you've got enough on your plate. It's possible that you are beginning to jump at ghosts. As far as one of your H's ex-ow's breaking into your house... If you've got an alarm in place, it's quite unlikely. If it will make you feel better, then have an alarm specialist come out and check it out. Regarding your H's relationship with your daughter. Take your daughter out to lunch. Make it a really laid back good mother-daughter day and ASK her if anything has happened that made her uncomfortable. It's truly doubtful, but this will help put your mind at rest. In the meantime, OOD, you are firing on too many cylinders. You really really NEED to go see a therapist. Your anxiety is out of control and you simply must get some help for yourself. Please go see someone soon. I'm very concerned about you.
whichwayisup Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 OOD, I know you don't want to hire a PI because you can't afford it, but seriously consider it. Borrow the money from a friend. I know it sucks to ask for help in that way but you're going to drive yourself nuts. Promise me you'll atleast think about it, k? I second silks post too - Seek some counselling because the stress you're going through will also drive you nuts, make you think and worry even more. Trust me, I KNOW all about anxiety and panic attacks! Don't let that become a problem because everything else will make it worse and worse...And, what good are you if you're freakin' and shaky all the time ... My thoughts are with you and do not hesitate to call 911 if you feel threatened.
whichwayisup Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 As for your daughter and her friend, talk to her and let her know that she can tell you anything. And I mean "ANYTHING." Expect the worst, hope for the best... Listen to your gut OOD.
kimmillah Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Can't really say for sure if it is in fact the ow or not but the woman with whom my husband had an emotional affair with is from Missouri. Funny how my myspace tracker keeps turning up with a visitor from Missouri near her hometown. I guess this is the most mild form of bunny boiling but strange none the less. Why would she even be interested in what I'm doing. What a wierdo!
jj2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 She followed me to work and once I parked and got out of my car and she sped off. She would call from her work in the middle of the night four or five times a night until I called her manager and requested that she stop using work time to harass me and my family while we were trying to sleep. Everytime she called during the day I would pickup and she would cuss me like a dog. She would call me at work and spout off death threats. I haven't heard from her in a while. Maybe she finally got the point and went back to her H.
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