Jinnah Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I'm not disagreeing with you the way you think I am. I think the guy is a creep and legally he did something he shouldn't have. My point was that I believe SHE knew better because of the intense way she pursued him and I think if he still liked her, she wouldn't be saying anything. This woman seems to be seeking revenge, not justice. Again, that's judgemental of me to say, but I'm just saying it SEEMS that way.
Jinnah Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Isn't it fun to argue with people that don't acknowledge logic? What the therapist did was ethically wrong. No need in arguing over that. In the legal community it is considered wrong as well. Whether or not she wants to sue him is really besides the point. The major issue should be about her reporting him. Its the right thing for her to do, if only for the sake of any woman that he might take advantage of in the future. This therapist needs to have his license yanked. I have no doubt she is a grown woman that is capable of making competent decisions, but so was he. His actions were ethically wrong amongst the medical community. He broke his oath, not her. Why don't you two seem to understand that I am not saying he isn't wrong? I've said that from the beginning. I just think she is avoiding her part in this and not taking responsibility for what SHE did and placing the blame completely elsewhere. When people mess up, they need to acknowledge it, or they will have learned nothing, and will not change their ways.
luvmy2ns Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I don't know guys, but I agree with Mino. They ended the patient/therapist relationship, she consented, then he changed his mind about her, she got caught, and she is upset now. I feel it would be wrong to sue him... he didn't rape her. I'm not trying to judge, but she is asking for advice... she is an adult and made her choice and needs to deal with her consequences. I agree that he is a creep (especially if he has other women), but unless he has done it many times with other patients, I feel it would be difficult to get a court of law to agree with you. I think she should go to a (female) therapist to help get over this, and above all be grateful her husband forgave her.... I understand if she was not of legal age, or just over it, but she is not... she's been married for 17 yrs., so that puts her at least at 35+ yrs. She pursued him too (went to his office at night to see if her was there, etc.). She seems too old (not a young child) to play this card (no offense). I think she is just afraid, but getting revenge on someone else won't help. You have to forgive yourself and work on your marriage... pray!... You make some good points... yes, he should know better... I think he has committed some serious sin, but I still think SHE knew better as well. That's all I'm saying. I can tell by the things she said that she was after him as well. This sounds 100% consentual (sp?). I bet if he was still into her, she wouldn't be saying any of this and she would still be cheating on her husband. It sounds as if she just wants to get him because there is a chance she can... only to "put him in his place" for leaving her. I am saying this is how it SOUNDS... I really hate sounding judgemental because only she knows. Was her mind HONESTLY manipulated by him (I get the feeling it wasn't)? I can't remember if she said why she was in therapy... I guess that would play a part in this. ... What if the same senario happened but the guy was, say a teacher, or any guy for that matter... according to what you are saying she would be able to sue any guy she slept with and later regretted because of her low self-esteem. I am against rapists and guys who take advantage of young girls, but this is different. ... The bolded part is the ONLY part where you assigned ANY blame to this guy. Are you his wife or something?
annabelle75 Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Why don't you two seem to understand that I am not saying he isn't wrong? I've said that from the beginning. I just think she is avoiding her part in this and not taking responsibility for what SHE did and placing the blame completely elsewhere. When people mess up, they need to acknowledge it, or they will have learned nothing, and will not change their ways. I don't see that at all from her post. I saw no where that she said she was an innocent victim. It sound sto me as if she has come clean to her husband, taken responsibility and is now trying to decide what course of action she should take against the therapist. And on the topic of suing him ...... I can't see why not. He violated the patient/physician relationship by pursuing her. I'd want a refund for no other reaosn than he was a bad therapist.
RealityCheck Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I don't see that at all from her post. I saw no where that she said she was an innocent victim. It sound sto me as if she has come clean to her husband, taken responsibility and is now trying to decide what course of action she should take against the therapist. And on the topic of suing him ...... I can't see why not. He violated the patient/physician relationship by pursuing her. I'd want a refund for no other reaosn than he was a bad therapist. NO KIDDING! No brainer!
whichwayisup Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Fact that she continued the A after she stopped seeing him as a client is just more proof she isn't the victim. Even though she allowed it to happen, HE is the one who crossed the line by letting it happen...He is in a position of power, trust and was being paid for her services...Maybe he led her on abit, made her feel loved, special and cared for - And inturn, she misinterpretted that as he loves her...Either way, they both are responsible now seeing as (as I said already) they continued the A after she left...ALSO - Would the A still be going on IF she wasn't busted by her husband???????
Jinnah Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I don't see that at all from her post. I saw no where that she said she was an innocent victim. It sound sto me as if she has come clean to her husband, taken responsibility and is now trying to decide what course of action she should take against the therapist. And on the topic of suing him ...... I can't see why not. He violated the patient/physician relationship by pursuing her. I'd want a refund for no other reaosn than he was a bad therapist. Sure she could try to sue him, but why does she want to? Because as she said, she wants to call him but dares not? Because she is dying from a broken heart and he doesn't love her back? I'm just concerned with her motives is all. She seems to be in love with him and angry that he does not have interest. I think men like this are pigs and all, but they both did it and he is the only one with a serious punishment at stake. I hear so many stories of women who sleep with men (consentually) and then sream rape and say they were taken advantage of when the guy doesn't call or like them anymore. Sure the guy is a jerk, but it was consentual... that's not a way to make them pay. She had a choice and she made a bad one. She should be in trouble for sleeping with her ex-therapist too then since she helped him break the code of conduct. He didn't rape her or put her in a trance as an earlier posted pinted out. Anyway, I can't keep arguing this as I have other things I need to do now. I am a person who wants justice, but it has to be justice, not revenge. I also hope she sees her part in this because she is 50% of the equation.
annabelle75 Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Sure she could try to sue him, but why does she want to? Because as she said, she wants to call him but dares not? Because she is dying from a broken heart and he doesn't love her back? I'm just concerned with her motives is all. She seems to be in love with him and angry that he does not have interest. I think men like this are pigs and all, but they both did it and he is the only one with a serious punishment at stake. I hear so many stories of women who sleep with men (consentually) and then sream rape and say they were taken advantage of when the guy doesn't call or like them anymore. Sure the guy is a jerk, but it was consentual... that's not a way to make them pay. She had a choice and she made a bad one. She should be in trouble for sleeping with her ex-therapist too then since she helped him break the code of conduct. He didn't rape her or put her in a trance as an earlier posted pinted out. Anyway, I can't keep arguing this as I have other things I need to do now. I am a person who wants justice, but it has to be justice, not revenge. I also hope she sees her part in this because she is 50% of the equation. You really need to stop comparing this to rape. Its not getting your point across and is actualyl starting to offedn me a little. There is no compariosn to rape here and none of us have tried to make that comparison. What the therapist did was wrong and he should be held accountable. Its pretty plain and simple. This isn't about taking responsibility, its about a therapist that crossed the line. Its pretty cut and dry. Stop trying to brow beat her for now reason. Your interpretation of her posts aren't even close to what she was saying.
Mino Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I agree with you 100%, its about revenge, and she is afraid of H, I agree the doc is a jerk, but she started A after she stopped going to therapy, and if she didnt get caught, affair would be still going on....
RealityCheck Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I agree with you 100%, its about revenge, and she is afraid of H, I agree the doc is a jerk, but she started A after she stopped going to therapy, and if she didnt get caught, affair would be still going on.... Really? A person goes to therapy for HELP! They are vulnerable. A trained professional in the field KNOWS this! A person will respond to care in vulnerablity believing in "trust". Vulnerable trust that is! It is truly shameful for a trained professional to cross those boundries within his profession. My POV remains. His license for practice should be revoked!
Mino Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Really? A person goes to therapy for HELP! They are vulnerable. A trained professional in the field KNOWS this! A person will respond to care in vulnerablity believing in "trust". Vulnerable trust that is! It is truly shameful for a trained professional to cross those boundries within his profession. My POV remains. His license for practice should be revoked! I agree with you , there are boundries, But this did not happen while she was in therapy. It happened 2 months after, cause she was pursuing him too.
RealityCheck Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I agree with you , there are boundries, But this did not happen while she was in therapy. It happened 2 months after, cause she was pursuing him too. Mino...as much as I enjoy your company & I do!.... The realization is that we are speaking of a TRAINED PROFESSIONAL. He worked with her in her most vulnerable moments. A person IS and WILL be vulnerable with the one they most "trusted" in a vulnerable circumstance. The therapist KNOWS this. Of course she would fall for a person who has worked with her emotions to the pit of her being, who wouldn't? The two months means nothing in the reality of "vulnerable support". Do you hear what I am saying? He crossed the boundry within his profession and took advantage of his clients vulnerability. My POV remains.
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 At her age she knows what's right and wrong.. Its not like the therapies have some kind of magical power to hypnotized her. He is wrong for having an A with her but she is part of the game. She is not just an innocent victim who are force in an A. She knows what she's doing.. She even pursue him. He definitely should loose his license. I hope she learn from this experience. jinnah i do understand what you meant. Just remember that people who's affected in this situation are guilty and rude who don't respect others people opinion.
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 His license should be revoked since he has done it several times to his other patients.
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I go through A LOT in my life, I'm pretty sure i know the REALITY and i definitely know the consequences of my ACTIONS. People who have an AFFAIR are not force, it's not like he put a gun in her head AND hand cuff both of her hands. She is free to do anything she want including an affair she did it without even thinking about her husband and kids. I am speaking of my opinion. JUST MY OPINION, you don't like it, i don't really care. IT IS MY OPINION.
RealityCheck Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 His license should be revoked since he has done it several times to his other patients. No kidding! However there are opinons where he should just get away with it because its ALL his CLIENTS fault and shame! shame! His clients are old enough to know better than to let a Therapist that they trusted in vulnerabilty rape their emotions!
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 At her age she knows what's right and wrong.. Its not like the therapies have some kind of magical power to hypnotized her. He is wrong for having an A with her but she is part of the game. She is not just an innocent victim who are force in an A. She knows what she's doing.. She even pursue him. He definitely should loose his license. I hope she learn from this experience. jinnah i do understand what you meant. Just remember that people who's affected in this situation are guilty and rude who don't respect others people opinion. RC I never said he should get away with anything. I SAID HE SHOULD LOSE HIS LICENSE!!!!! i also said that she should learn from this experience.
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 He shouldn't get away with it. He's an effing doctor, for crying out loud! It's because they are taught to know how to handle a situation that irks me that THAT gave him the right to sleep with his clients. That's just bull... and even if she started it - after 2 months, his title should be stripped off cause he should know better!!! Taking advantage of women using your profession... wtf.. I'm studying psychology and his act disgusts me.
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 He is very wrong and his license should be revoked. He shouldn't be practicing therapies then having an affair with his patient at the same time. But i still think she is part of the affair, she is an accomplished. He is wrong and she is too. She should sue him for the sake of the future patient and his Wife and kids. But then if this guy doesn't happen to be her therapies would she have an affair with him? i think so. It just happen he is her therapies. He wants lust, he used his position and he should be punished. But that doesn't make her right for what she did.
RealityCheck Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 RC He is very wrong and his license should be revoked. He shouldn't be practicing therapies then having an affair with his patient at the same time. But i still think she is part of the affair, she is an accomplished. He is wrong and she is too. She should sue him for the sake of the future patient and his Wife and kids. But then if this guy doesn't happen to be her therapies would she have an affair with him? i think so. It just happen he is her therapies. He wants lust, he used his position and he should be punished. But that doesn't make her right for what she did. SM... I hear what you are saying. What we have here is opinion of ethical and moral. When someone seeks Therapy it is because they have lost their better moral judgment. They are indecisive and require "HELP". Then we have the "ethicial". A person who is a trained professional to assist in leading people from a state that they cannot get through by themselves. This Professional acted against the ethics of his profession and played on her vulnerabilty completely aware of her state! I cannot hold the OP responsible. She sought professional help and it failed!
Mino Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 One question, how do we know he has a history with other patients? Is there proof? or is it just hearsay?
lonelybird Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Sure she could try to sue him, but why does she want to? Because as she said, she wants to call him but dares not? Because she is dying from a broken heart and he doesn't love her back? I'm just concerned with her motives is all. She seems to be in love with him and angry that he does not have interest. I think men like this are pigs and all, but they both did it and he is the only one with a serious punishment at stake. I hear so many stories of women who sleep with men (consentually) and then sream rape and say they were taken advantage of when the guy doesn't call or like them anymore. Sure the guy is a jerk, but it was consentual... that's not a way to make them pay. She had a choice and she made a bad one. She should be in trouble for sleeping with her ex-therapist too then since she helped him break the code of conduct. He didn't rape her or put her in a trance as an earlier posted pinted out. Anyway, I can't keep arguing this as I have other things I need to do now. I am a person who wants justice, but it has to be justice, not revenge. I also hope she sees her part in this because she is 50% of the equation. revenge is 'ego love' and selfish love, sounds like "I cannot get what I want, then I revenge"?
smoochygirl Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 RC it is your opinion i respect it. My opinion will stay the same. They are both accountable in their ACTIONS.
lonelybird Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Addictive love is scary, how many women have this? this is like something unhealthy inside of you come out in the form of addictive love; seems some women can realize this and break off from it, but some women still enjoy in it and even enjoy the suffering:o. OW seems like masochism
Tsuki no Michi Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 I am going to write a letter to the board because I found out that I am not the only woman he has seduced. He is a psycologist. I am also considering a law suit. I spent thousands of dollars seeing him and other therapists to get free. I don't know about the lawsuit, but client/therapist relationships, especially sexual ones are a severe violation of the counseling code of ethics and he can easily lose his license over the matter. It's also a gross abuse of his power within the C-T relationship. Granted, if he's in a state that allows unlicensed therapists to practice then it won't do much good, but I'd do it anyway. The standard for being able to enter into such relationships with someone who was once his client is 2 *years*, not a measly six months as in your case. Anyway, just FYI. TNM
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