Glowbie Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been living together for ten months or so. I was a student for most of that time, and enjoyed a fairly flexible schedule. For the last three months, however, I have been working a full-time job about an hour's commute from where I live, which means I leave the apartment at eight am, and get home by six pm Monday through Friday. My boyfriend, on the other hand, works at a bar about a five minute walk from our apartment. He gets up around three or four pm most days, goes to work anywhere between eight-thirty pm and eleven pm, and doesn't usually get home until four-thirty or five am. He doesn't come to bed until six-thirty am most days, which is just before I get up for work. He usually works Wednesday through Sunday, which means we almost never have a full day off together anymore. We never go to sleep together, never wake up together, never have the same energy levels, or even the same meal times. My sleep suffers, because I stay up with him too late, and am often woken up by him coming home at night, coming to bed late, or if he makes too much noise in the middle of the night while cooking or using the computer. The worst thing is that I get very irritable and irrational when my sleep is disturbed, so if we have an argument in the middle or the night or early morning (often triggered by little things), it tends to get heated, go unresolved, and end in tears. This living arrangement is very hard on me, emotionally and physically. What I want to know is whether anyone else out there is living like this, and what they have done/are doing to make it work.
redfathom Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I know what you are going through. My H and I have different schedules, he works grave and I work days and right now (it changes every six months) we do not even have the same days off. I see my H between 10 min to 4 hours a day depensing on the day and our plans/schedules. It is extreamly hard. You get used to having the bed to yourself then have to readjust. I have to schedule errands and seeing friends around the tight and short time we have together. My H will come to bed anytime of night and on Thursdays has to wake up at 2pm, setting his alarm. As for the one who is grumpy if woken up that is 100% him. In fact I never wake him up. If the relationship is worth keeping then you have to make sacrafices. I think if you had a two bedroom (if you don't already) it would be easier. You should make time to see each other, pick a night that you two go out. We tend to fight when ever his work week changes, from weekend off to on because: 1. we don't see enough of each other and then 2. because we see to much of each other So every six months we are adjusting our schedules and it causes us to argue. Just do your best.
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