notunderstanding Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Without the mundane details, I'm in an ldr (engaged) . I found out last night that she is being dishonest with me. I was planning on flying 800 miles to spend next weekend with her and she told me she needed to have that last weekend of summer (she's a college professor) alone and I agreed and she even offered to pay for the flight up the next weekend. I found out she had planned a big party for that weekend rather than spending it alone and I simply wasn't invited. I'm crushed and my heart is now broken. Should I confront her with this or just let it go or end it now ?????? The way I found out wasn't exactly trustful of her and I regret that now but it was a "gut" feeling that made me do it.
Jinnah Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I think a spouse or fiance has the right to check up on a suspicion they have, so don't feel bad. Look, you were right. Did you ask her why you weren't invited? It seems werid that she would not invite you, but you need to ask her (not angrily - don't make her defensive). Just say you were hurt that she did nor invite you and why.
Author notunderstanding Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 and I agree except after thinking about it if I confronted her she'd know that I checked up on her and that would betray our trust and she'd turn it on me as the instigator which in reality is the truth but the sad part about it is that I've been talking through the day to her and she's completely weasling around me coming at all. I even told her that I would be happy just to spend 24 hours with her (the night of the party of course) and she's really in a corner on this. I told her that I adored her and I'm glad she was honest with me about wanting to be alone and that honesty was the most important thing to me. I got a very long pause on that so I know it's put a knot in her throat. I guess I'll just play it that way until "d-day" and see what happens. I've really created a double edged sword by not trusting her.
LittleWingedOne Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Before ending it, you need to talk to her. In person. Over the phone/online is too impersonal. Find out why she did that. Either its time for the relationship to end, or you can work on it.
Author notunderstanding Posted September 6, 2007 Author Posted September 6, 2007 Well it's been interesting to say the least. I didn't have to confront her about it at all. My "thank you for being trustworth and honest" thing did her in. She admitted the party to me and wanted me to be at it so I guess that's a moot point now also, (forgive me for still looking at her email) but she also met with her ex-boyfriend and told him all about me and that she was in love with me and was going to marry me. I'm feeling ok again but I hate this LDR, this is my first and last. Hell, I'd rather be the OM like I was before than to go through this again.
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