JackJack Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Ok I brought this up since there has been some posts going around lately about cheating, and why etc. This is a little bit different, its not about really doing the cheating, but to see if they still "have it" by asking women. Here's the story. I used to run around with this buddy of mine years ago, who hit on every woman he could. He was married. Did I think he would cheat? I dunno. Has he? I dunno. But the point to my story is, when I asked him why he chatted up girls whenever we were out (married women or single) his response to me, "just to see if I still have it." I then said, "Why?" his response, "just to see if I asked a woman if they would have sex with me or even thought about, if they would say yes or no". He said nothing ever happend with those women. He also said there were some who point blank told him, "NO" they wouldn't have sex with him, and that he admitted he appreicated their honesty, but he was crushed just the same. I guess for some men they do it just to see if "they still have it", but to even just ask women if they would, is kind of pointless to me. So my question is, if people who would even ask someone else, if they would have sex with them or , maybe not even word it that way, but you get my point. I'm sure there's a better way to ask than like that, but anyway, what is the point in that really? Do you think it was a ego thing? Personally when we used to hang out, I wasn't even married, and didn't ask women questions like that, and now that I am married I still couldn't see myself asking someone something like that, "just to see" . He did say he was crushed when they said no. I asked him what about the women who said Yes, he said he didn't take them up on their answer. He was just curious. Seems like a odd answer to me. What do you think?
reboot Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I think your friend has serious self-esteem issues.
whichwayisup Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 He needs to feel good about himself and it's all about his ego.
Author JackJack Posted August 31, 2007 Author Posted August 31, 2007 He needs to feel good about himself and it's all about his ego. Oh I agree its about his ego. I just never really saw the point in asking women something like that, just to see if they would or wouldn't even if he had no intentions of carrying it out. Unless he really did, and just didn't tell me that, since he was married.
Lizzie60 Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I think it was some kind of a game for him... maybe an 'ego' thing like you mention... if he was crushed when they said no...that's weird.. I have known men like that... long time ago... when I was in my early 20s... they would 'tease', etc... but I knew if I had said yes they would have backed off... big 'talkers' LOL
Lyssa Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 He has serious issues, alright. Like you, I don't see the point of asking if he isn't going to do anything about it!
Poboy Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I think it was some kind of a game for him... maybe an 'ego' thing like you mention... if he was crushed when they said no...that's weird.. I have known men like that... long time ago... when I was in my early 20s... they would 'tease', etc... but I knew if I had said yes they would have backed off... big 'talkers' LOL i knew someone who used to do this and keep score . more winners than loosers its an ego thing ( lots of it ) and he did cheat when one such of his winner basically offered herself to him.
norajane Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 He obviously needs the external validation. And he wants to know his 'value' on the market...probably makes him feel like he'd best stick with his wife when he sees that there aren't so many women who would have sex with him, or that he'd be ok if his wife ever left him because he still 'got it'. And I think there's a group of guys out there who just can't stand to think they'll never have sex with anyone else but their wife for the rest of their lives...it drives them crazy, so they skirt the edges by hitting on other women to at least get the rush of pursuit. And I'm sure he uses those women for his masturbation fantasies later that night.
Author JackJack Posted August 31, 2007 Author Posted August 31, 2007 Thanks for the replies. I do think its for ego and validation of just knowing if a woman would or wouldn't. I can't help but wonder though if part of it has to do with the fact, his wife cheated on him early on in their marriage. Then again he may have asked women that question before she ever cheated. Perhaps it has something to do with his self esteem, and him feeling he doesn't look good enough, or being good enough and he needs validation or something. He does seem to be all about family, as far as working hard, good provider, spends alot of time with his family, and him and his wife seem to have a good marriage when ever we have been around them. Plus he praises her alot, saying what a good wife she is and good mother etc.
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