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Trial Separation Resources - Recommendations?


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Posted

I recently indicated to my wife that I thought we should get a divorce. We have had troubles for most of our marriage - off and on - and have made efforts over the last 7 months to work on it with counselors and supposedly talking. However, the progress was slow and I didn't feel either of us were truly addressing fundamental problems in our relationship such as sex, or lack there of, fidelity, trust and communication. We have all the classics.

 

Since my declaration of divorce, my wife and I have been talking more openly and candidly than we have in the past 7 months. I by no means see asking for a divorce as means to fixing my marriage. Rather, I knew I couldn't continue on the path we were on.

 

We are both now discussing the merits of a divorce or trying a trial separation for a period of time before making a final decision. Both of us are on the same page as to needing to make this our top priority. I am looking for resources, books and recommendations of other materials (studies or reports) that provide advice and guidance on trial separations.

 

Thanks in advance.

Posted

Its late, I'm tired, time for me to hit the rack. Just posting to kick this to the top for now. Hope to catch back up with you during the A.M. after some ZZZZZZZ time!

 

Sorry, too tired right now!

Posted

I don't know if you have any kids involved, but obviously they can play a huge role in how you go about this. I have two, yet still made the decision to pursue separation from my WAW as a PROACTIVE step that I made for MYSELF.

 

If I were you, and I know each situation is different, I would flat out ask yourself if you are committed to making your marriage work or not, and ask your wife the same thing.

 

If EITHER one of you is not, then you should get this rolling sooner than later. You owe it to your spouse, and she owes it back to you, to be honest about that one question.

 

The one who IS committed should be the one to push the separation button on the one who is NOT, as hard as that is to push. That's what I did and while I hurt a lot at times, I'm getting stronger each day as I tell myself that MY committment is a WASTE of time on someone who is not committed to me.

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