Two year relationship comes to an end.. we still love each other... any ??

[sbedard]

Hey everyone,

This is my first post as I'm having a very difficult time with my current situation.. Let me explain what the background of my relationship is..

 

I met a girl almost 3 years ago now.. The first girl I ever dated, call her girl x, and ever fell in love with.. I was 22 when I met girl x.. About a month after girl x and i were together I cheated on her with another girl.. At the time it did not seem like that big of a deal, I wasnt even sure if it was going to work with girl x, or if i truely even loved her... Fast forward a year... I love girl x to death. I work downtown at a night club during the weekends to make cash while i attend school.. This is a source of stress for our relationship as I am constantly around girls and girl x really hates that.. it bothers her..

 

Well a year has passed and guess what... Me and girl x run into that girl I slept with almost a year ago and things get really awkward.. Immediately girl x knows something is up and questions me.. I deny everything.. girl x finds the girl we ran into and gets the truth from her..

 

Hindsight I should have been honestly, but at the time I cheated I wasnt even sure if I liked girl x.. and now I was head over heals for her.. And I didnt want this to haunt me forever..

 

Girl X and I broke up for a period of time but realized we still were both very much in love with each other.. We got back together and things go well for the most part.. The love is there.. But the scar is still there, and I am questioned by girl x a lot of the time by things that may be normal for other relationships.. But cause question for ours on the basis of trust..

 

After a year of trying to work it out.. She has basically told me that she loves me to death, and this is extremely hard for her to do, but she has to move on away from this relationship because she cant go through with questioning everything anymore... At some level I do understand this, but i love the girl so much i dont want it to be like this.. And She does love me too..

 

I'm not sure how to approach this situation.. Do I go about with no contact? do I just back off and try to start from scratch.. Do I hope one day that time apart with let her clear her mind and give us a chance to start freash without the weight of the past on our backs.. I'm really lost right now... I am trying really hard to create space.. But its so hard knowing we both love each other.. and that we are forcing ourselves to move on..

 

Please help

[Curious139]

Oh dear, I feel for you. I lost the love of my life when we still loved each other because I needed time to end my marriage with dignity for my wife. My love got sad and sick of waiting and found someone else.

 

None of us can make another person love us or be with us. It has to come from the heart. In your case you have lost her trust but you know that of course. I'm surprised you haven't been able to restablish that trust in a year but your girlfriend must have some issues in her background which make her very vulnerable in this area.

 

I think that you both need some time apart. You'll see each other differently, but it may take a few months. If the love is there you'll be able to start afresh but right now you are too close to each other emotionally to do that.

[sbedard]

I feel very bad because we have pushed it so far that she really doesnt know what else to do.. I have never really given her the chance to miss me I guess though.. In the 3 years we have known each other we havent gone more then 3-4 days without talking to each other....

 

I'm just worried she will force herself to move on and try to get rid of the feelings for me.. or that she will be scared to try again.. Also, I believe she is really feeling down about her life in this area and has mentioned moving across country.. i just hope she doesnt lose the feelings.. because i would move eventually if thats what she wanted..