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Posted

After more than a week of my bf not talking to me, I am finally starting to do better. He is thinking about things and only says he will talk to me soon. I was starting to think do I even want to go through the ringer with him again? He gets angry and just drops off the face of the earth. He can't talk to me in person. Once when I tried to end it, he wouldn't even come over because he knew that's what I was going to do. I don't understand why I want to be with someone who can't talk to me face to face about a problem. That leads to some major trust issues. Besides, this is a guy I thought I wanted to marry. I don't think that would help a marriage. "Oh, your parents/cat/friend just died/you lost your job/baby/friend/you got cancer (insert any future problem here) and you're being very crappy and took it out on me. Can't talk to you. See ya." I mean, so why would I even want to be back with him? But then I stupidly looked at a bunch of our old pics and I miss him and want to call, text, e-mail. It's hard not to, but I am going to go to the gym instead. But can anyone tell me why he would react this way? I thought if you loved someone you try to work things out, you don't just walk away.

Posted

It sounds like he has his own issues to sort out, possibly attachment problems. I sort of have that. It occurs for people who feel alone in childhood for whatever reason. When a child wants comfort and love but doesn't get it, they learn a self-defence where they don't trust themselves to attach to others, for fear of losing that person.

 

It continues in adulthood and in my case means I have enormous difficulty in commitment.

 

This isn't your problem and he needs help. Counselling. But he'll have to come to that point himself someday.

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