With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I met a wonderful man. Complete opposite from anyother men I have ever been involved with. I knew his was married when I met him. We had an instant connection from the moment we talked. I was cool being his friend and didnt think anything more. Then all of a sudden our feeling grew. And here we are now. In love and not regretting it. This relationship has given me and him our fair share of heartache. But when I looked into the pros and cons it has also given me stregthen and love I has always looked for , but never thought I would find. And the same goes for him. I can say this as he has told me this many times before. Some people have told me the relationship is WRONG. And we will both suffer from it. But how can I suffer? And if suffering is loving him and feeling happy then I love suffering. Quote
EnigmasMuse Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Jut out of curiosty, why is your post called "hurt but the best thing that could have happnend to me" if you are so happy, what are you hurt about? Quote
Lyssa Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 He was married or is he married? There's a difference there. If he is married, how is his marriage at this point? It is wrong but I'm in no position to judge you. Just want you to know that there's a big chance you won't love suffering later on in this r/ship... Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Jut out of curiosty, why is your post called "hurt but the best thing that could have happnend to me" if you are so happy, what are you hurt about? Just meant that I have been through hurt. But that hurt has been worth it. Quote
TogetherForever Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 You love suffering? If so, keep on loving your mm. If/when the hurt sets in & you don't love the suffering anymore, you can come back & tell us about it. Oh, Do you think his wife loves the suffering? TF Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 He was married or is he married? There's a difference there. If he is married, how is his marriage at this point? It is wrong but I'm in no position to judge you. Just want you to know that there's a big chance you won't love suffering later on in this r/ship... He is married. Marriage isnt any good. More or less its just paper. Thank you for not judging. I am by no means looking for people to say I was right getting involved with someone who is married. I guess the only reason I have is that old saying " IT just happened" I apologized if I come off sounding SMUG. Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 You love suffering? If so, keep on loving your mm. If/when the hurt sets in & you don't love the suffering anymore, you can come back & tell us about it. Oh, Do you think his wife loves the suffering? TF Like I have said in my OP. I have weighed the Pros and Cons. I always end up with more Pros and love. Quote
Lyssa Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Just don't make him promise you anything because promises are made to be broken or was it made and meant to be broken?? Does he feel the same way? Loving the suffering? Quote
Lyssa Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Like I have said in my OP. I have weighed the Pros and Cons. I always end up with more Pros and love. Okay, we get that but are you thinking rationally? Sometimes we're blinded by love - most of the time, actually. Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Just don't make him promise you anything because promises are made to be broken or was it made and meant to be broken?? Does he feel the same way? Loving the suffering? Yes , he has said on many occasions he feels the same way about me Quote
EnigmasMuse Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Like I have said in my OP. I have weighed the Pros and Cons. I always end up with more Pros and love. Can you list the pros? BTW, no one loves suffering. Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Can you list the pros? BTW, no one loves suffering. Being there for me. Continuely Support Showing of commitment Efforts in showing security Concerns for my well being and those I love ( these are a few and very important reasons for me) Quote
Lyssa Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Being there for me. Continuely Support Showing of commitment Efforts in showing security Concerns for my well being and those I love ( these are a few and very important reasons for me) Do you think he doesn't do the same to his wife? Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Do you think he doesn't do the same to his wife? This question is very fair. I know someone that knows her. She has admitted that the relationship is dead. And that none of those things exist within the marriage. They are moving towards ending the marriage. Quote
TogetherForever Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Being there for me. Continuely Support Showing of commitment Efforts in showing security Concerns for my well being and those I love ( these are a few and very important reasons for me) God forbid, in case of an unexpected emergency, would you be able/allowed to call him at any time for him to come to you? Quote
EnigmasMuse Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Being there for me. Continuely Support Showing of commitment Efforts in showing security Concerns for my well being and those I love ( these are a few and very important reasons for me) 1. Support of being there for you? 2. He is not committed, and doesn't seem to know waht that is. If he did he would be committed to his wife and her only. If he is so committed to you, see if he will leave his wife for you. 3. Are you speaking in finacial reasons? 4. If he truly cared about your well being, he would let you go, so you could go out and date or be in a relationship with someone who was single. JMO on it. Quote
Lyssa Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 This question is very fair. I know someone that knows her. She has admitted that the relationship is dead. And that none of those things exist within the marriage. They are moving towards ending the marriage. Okay but is this someone a reliable source? Do they have kids? Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 God forbid, in case of an unexpected emergency, would you be able/allowed to call him at any time for him to come to you? Yes, And I have done so. He has also. Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 1. Support of being there for you? 2. He is not committed, and doesn't seem to know waht that is. If he did he would be committed to his wife and her only. If he is so committed to you, see if he will leave his wife for you. 3. Are you speaking in finacial reasons? 4. If he truly cared about your well being, he would let you go, so you could go out and date or be in a relationship with someone who was single. JMO on it. NO!!! I am not speaking of anything finiancially. What kind of that relationship be? I thank you for your responses and your O. Quote
PandorasBox Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Suffering is not love. You stated they are working on ending the marriage, how close is that to being final? Quote
TogetherForever Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Yes, And I have done so. He has also. Did his wife know that it was his lover calling & he was running to help you? Trying to put 2 & 2 together here. Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Okay but is this someone a reliable source? Do they have kids? Person is a very reliable source. Has no clue about him and I. Actually the W has confided to the source that infidelity has existed in the marriage. Yes there are children involved. Quote
whichwayisup Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 You don't spend Christmas with him, birthdays, holidays, you aren't included in his family functions... If he was in the hospital for some reason, you would NOT be allowed to be there. Another thing, the line "marriage is not good" is the typical line ALL MM and MW give their OW/OM...Even though you have a friend who is confirming this, neither of you know what goes on behind closed doors. Chances are, when they sleep in the same bed, they ARE still having sex...But, I know you don't want to know that, let alone believe it... He is and has been lying and deceiving his wife - So don't fool yourself into thinking he would never lie to you as well... When D-Day (discovery day of the affair) happens, you'll more than likely see your MM do a 180 and not want to continue the A with you...He'll make it seem less than what it was, when push comes to shove, he'll more than likely choose his wife - Almost like a wake up call as he'll realize HOW much he has to lose... Do they have children? If so, that makes the chances of them splitting up even slimmer... Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Suffering is not love. You stated they are working on ending the marriage, how close is that to being final? The suffering which I have spoken about was what him and I have gone through and in the end seen the love and devotion we have for one another and the relationship. I cant not give you a date. But yes close. Quote
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Did his wife know that it was his lover calling & he was running to help you? Trying to put 2 & 2 together here. She doesnt pay attention to what he does. Quote
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