curiousnycgirl Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Good for you for not acting on that desire to text him! You have every right to be hurt and angry! But you are doing everything you need to do for you. I know exactly how hard it is to find an apt in NYC - maybe try Jersey City? Or Hoboken? Both are really easy commutes to NYC and there appear to be many more apts available.
Author angie16 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 i know i will have to find something, its just to tough. this is HARD. I am just angry because the neighborhood we lived in I loved. I had lived there 2 years before I met him, and we've had 2 apartments there. and now i have to LEAVE all my friends and fav places and find something else, SOMEWHERE else. The thought of running into his friends, or HIM, or god forbid seeing him on a date in the future makes me want to vomit. Sorry for being so crass today i am just RAW. all this anger just came out of nowhere. YES HE LEFT ME when the chips were down. HE DECIDED to leave rather than TRY. UGHHHHHHHH THIS HURTS. I did go back and delete all his emails, and all of our pictures from the last 2 YEARS. Starting back to the first one he wrote me.
niceguy27 Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 I did go back and delete all his emails, and all of our pictures from the last 2 YEARS. Starting back to the first one he wrote me. That is a good first step to taking a little bit of control back into your hands. You know him better than anyone else. If you truly believe that you two are meant to be together, just give it a little time. In the meantime, use this stress of finding a place a priority. It will keep your mind busy and focus your anxiety on that.
curiousnycgirl Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Angie - Tried to private message you - but I can't for some reason. I know NYC fairly well - you can move not too far away and still be close to your favorite haunts and see your friends. PM me and I'm very happy to help.
Author angie16 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 Angie - Tried to private message you - but I can't for some reason. I know NYC fairly well - you can move not too far away and still be close to your favorite haunts and see your friends. PM me and I'm very happy to help. thanks for replying and wanting to help. I'm ok, i am just angry. I will find something. I guess what this realization or stage i am in today is really the fact that HE's NOT COMING BACK. We lived in Astoria, in Queens. I've lived all over manhattan and brooklyn over the years, just really liked where i settled. i don't have the premium subsciption for PM'ing :-(
curiousnycgirl Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 OY I don't know Astoria at all, I'm sorry! I have to tell you - I am amazed and awed by how well you are dealing with this and sticking to your guns. I think you are becoming my hero! Keep it up
Author angie16 Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 its good. I had a long talk with my best friend on the phone. She set me straight. I was doing the NC because i was convinced it would make him come back. I now understand that i can't do it for that reason. i have to do it to move on. I can't be counting days and feeling miserable that he hasn't called. I have to MOVE ON. He told me last week when he broke it off that he couldnt' give me what i wanted (marriage) and that he needed to heal. He also didn't say we were on a break, it was that we were BROKEN UP. He is not coming back to me. He is moving on. He has not asked me to come back. I guess it just sunk in. It hurts like hell, but i can't live counting days because he's not coming back. And even if he did, he would have to be proposing marriage or at least eminent engagement, and he has told me HE CANT DO THAT. I realized i had to LISTEN to what he SAID TO ME when he BROKE UP with ME. So I sent him an instant message about an hour ago. I told him congrats on his cousin's new baby (he texted me about that on monday, i didnt' respond), and i wrote that my address on record at work is going to take 3-4 weeks to transfer, and i will have expense checks being cut to me (because i am traveling for work the next 2 weeks) during that time period. Clearly i need the money so i asked him nicely if he could just give me a heads up when they arrive and put them in the mail ASAP. He responded that he knew what they looked like and that he would bring them to me at work when they came in. I said that wasn't necessary, he insisted, and i said we'd talk about it when they came in. He then began trying to have a conversation about how our wireless router was broken, i told him how to restart it and said i had to run and to take care. He wrote back take care too, and that was it. I feel empowered because i HAVE TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. This is not the guy. Its ok to admit that. I feel 100 times better because i know where i want to live and i know i can afford it and i know i shouldn't be running into him or his friends on that side of the hood. Thanks loveshack. Even though i am still shattered and heartbroken and sad that i can't be with the man i love, i feel better.
curiousnycgirl Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 All I can say is YOU GO GIRL! You are doing great and we are and will always be here for you.
Author angie16 Posted September 6, 2007 Author Posted September 6, 2007 He called last night, said he missed me. I know i shouldn't have picked up the phone but i am SO HAPPY I DID. Guess what? After i said that i missed him too... SILENCE. you know why? Because he said he "still hadn't figured anything out". So why are you CALLING? BEcause you're a COMMITMENT PHOBIC MAN. I am so happy none of my time is going to be wasted on him ANYMORE. I AM FREE! I told him so. Told him i was moving on. I feel like 10000 lbs has been taken off my shoulders! I am not sad anymore, just relieved. THIS IS NOT THE MAN FOR ME. He is out there, but his ain't it! Good luck everyone :-)
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